Tear In My Heart | hes

iii

chapter three - bathing suit

harry 🌹: i miss you already, let's hang out

after much convincing, harry had let me put an emoji beside his name on my phone, his choosing of course, but, it was just a rose and i didn't mind. mum and dad had came into my room after seeing harry and i asleep on my bed, telling harry that it was best for him to go home. it was now ten thirty-seven a.m and and i had just woken up after the disturbance from last night. i replied to him, saying he could come over whenever since i was off today. i looked into my back yard from the kitchen, seeing our underground pool. it wasn't as cold today and honestly, a dip in the pool sounded fantastic.

arabella: bring a bathing suit

after finishing my bowl of cereal, i went upstairs to change. it was thursday, which meant that everyone was out of the house by eight and wouldn't be back until the afternoon. i grabbed two beach towels out of the linen closet and headed down stairs in my plain black two piece. a knock on the door made me jump, almost dropping the towels, as i put them on the coffee table and run towards the door to answer it.

"hello." harry greets me as we come into view of one another. i smile sheepishly as i see his eyes rake over my body.

"good morning." he walked in and i closed the door, turning so i could have a good look at him. he wore white trunks with a white kiss shirt. his hair laid disheveled on his head, like he had just woken up.

"no one else is home?" he asks, looking in the kitchen and living room.

"no, hayley and max have school and my parents are at work." i answered, picking up the towels again. i walked to the back, where three pool chairs sat empty. i placed a towel on each of two, and slipped off my sandals.

"is that a tattoo?" harry questions, pointing at my hip. i blush a bit before smiling.

"yeah." i mumbled, i had another on my chest, right in the valley of my breasts, one on my ankle and another on each of my collar bones that my hair normally covered.

"when did you get tattoos? what happened to 'never ruining my body'?" harry smirked as he pulled his white shirt off over his head and threw it onto the vacant chair.

"i could say the same to you." i remarked, pointing at his chest and arm. he let out a light chuckle before standing at the edge of the pool and jumping in. i did the same, resurfacing with a smile on my face.

"well, what do they mean?" he asked, swimming towards me. i stayed near the shallow end where my feet could touch the floor and crouched a bit so the water covered me up to my shoulders.

"which one?" he pointed at my ankle.

"it's a small outline of the world map." i held it up for him and he smiled.

"why?" i shrugged as part of a response.

"if i had the money, i'd love to travel." he nodded and then pointed at the hip, as if working his way up. "they're astronomical symbols for the sun, earth, and moon. just something cute that i wanted one drunk night."

"you get drunk?" he asked, astonished.

"not often, but that night specifically, yes." harry shook his head, focusing his eyes on my chest.

"and that?" he pointed to my valley and i blushed hard.

"a rose." it was just a rose, not fully blossomed, with it's stem and thorns. it was very small and was my first tattoo.

"why a rose?"

"the only reason why-- love. i tend to think of myself as a hopeless romantic." he shook his head but smiled and his eyes went to my collar bones.

"those?"

"my most recent ones done. initials. for my siblings. hed, for hayley elizabeth dixon. and mrd for maximilian robert dixon." he grinned widely this time, making me smile at well.

"do you plan on getting any others anytime soon?" i bit my lip, holding back my answer. in all honestly, i wanted to get a matching tattoo with harry, since he was my best friend and all. but i wasn't going to be the first to say it.

"not really but i usually get inspiration out of nowhere and just go and get one without second guessing it." i answered truthfully, but not fully.

"we should get one together." harry smiled, looking down at his arms and trying to find an open spot. "here." he pointed on top of his right wrist. "well anywhere on this arm really."

"and what would we get? i mean, we have matching roses already." i motioned to his left arm and he chuckled.

"what about our date?" harry offered. i thought over it and shook my head.

"harry, that would basically be my first birthday." which was true.

prior to that, mum was too scared to take me out as a baby. i was her first born so it was natural for her to be protective. but for my first birthday, harry's mum had convinced her to throw a party, which the styles' family were invited to. at one and a half and one, harry and i had automatically clicked. they say he was feeding me bits of my cake along with eating some of it.

"so? let's do it."

"just the numbers?" i questioned. he nodded.

"most people get the roman numerals but we'll just put regular numbers. like, eight, dot, one, dot, nineteen ninety-five. maybe add a heart or something." i shook my head at the heart part.

"wouldn't katherine mind?" i asked, bringing up his girlfriend. harry's face hardened a bit and he nodded.

"i suppose we'll just get the numbers then. maybe some time next week?"

"i'll have to see my schedule but i should be off next thursday as well."

the pool got quiet, us sitting there as we slowly turned into raisins from being in the water too long. i looked at harry to see him watching me with those green eyes i grew to adore. the way i felt now was like none another and i mentally cursed myself for still loving him.

i knew i had feelings for harry when we were in high school. we didn't go to the same school, his mum had put him in private school with his sister. but we did go to a lot of the same parties and events.

one day, i had enough courage to tell a kid in my class that i had a crush on him, to which he laughed right in my face. all the kids in that grade level made fun of me for the rest of the year and i tried to keep it from my family, and harry, until someone told his sister. harry was so mad, he got into his first fight with the boy, leaving with almost no bruises on him. and since that day, my feelings for harry only grew.

and it hurt so much when he left. a piece of my soul had gone with him as he went to uni and i stayed here in my home town. i cried nearly every night for months when he wouldn't talk to me. i thought about how stupid i was for thinking harry and i could ever be a thing. he was so close but so far away at the same time and it literally made my heart ache.

eventually, things got better as i soon started to forget he was ever a part of my life. but that day, a month ago, when we were on the roller coaster together. all the love, the pain, every feeling i've had for him came flooding back. he was in my veins and there was no way of getting him out.