There's No Turning Back (Luke Brooks)

Chapter 17

Kassy's POV
I am almost 5 months along. I am going for another ultrasound today. Luke promised me he is coming along this time. It is his first time coming along, and I can tell he is nervous. He sits in the waiting room along with me while playing with his fingers and shakes his leg. I place my hand on his leg and look up to Luke. "Babe, there is nothing to be nervous about". Luke nods slightly and takes a deep breath. "I know", he chew on his bottom lip.

"Kassandra, the doctor is ready to see you now". Luke gulps and I take his hand. "You know I should be the one to be nervous", I laugh slightly. We walk into the room and the doctor motions me to take a seat on the bed. "Hello Kassy, I see you have someone new with you today.. You must be Luke. Kassandra has told me so much about you". I feel my cheeks heat up as Luke glances at me with a smile. "It is nice to see you here supporting your girlfriend", the doctor smiles. "I am happy I am here", he smiles.

I lift my shirt as the doctor begins to rub the cold gel on my stomach. I sit uncomfortable at the table. I hate the feeling of the gel. Luke sits in the corner watching. I show him a small smile and he returns a half one.

"Here we go", the doctor points to the screen.

Luke walks over to me and takes my hand. I see his eyes widen as he stands there in awe. "Wow", he murmurs. "So that is our little one.... That is it's little head right, and it's feet, wow it is so small".

"Will you like to know the gender?", the doctor asks.

Luke glances down at me, "Do you want to find out?".

I shake my head, "Can we keep it a surprise?".

Luke bites his lip, "You don't want to know?".

"I want it I be a surprise".

Luke sighs. I can tell he is a little disappointment with my decision. I think he wants to find out. He hates surprises.

"I guess we will have to wait until he/she comes out", he sighs.

"It is healthly right. Everything is going good?", Luke asks.

The doctor smiles, "Everything is perfect".

Luke smiles, "Good".

"I can't wait any longer. I am so excited to see our little one". I take Luke's hand and smile, "Ahaha it is only 4 months Luke".


~

Luke holds on my hand the entire ride home from the doctors. I love when he drives with one hand in the steering wheel one hand with his entwined with mine. I find it a skittle unsafe but he knows how to drive. "So I guess we are going to have to buy a car seat for my car then", he says.

I look over and can't help but smile. Luke never likes to talk about things for the baby. He says it isn't born yet so we don't have to worry about it.

"Do we need more than one car seat? One for yours one for mine? Or do you think one will be fine?".

"I think we should just start off with one", I tell him and he nods.

"What about strollers. Just one stroller... And toys. We need to buy our little one lots of toys".

"It is only 4 o clock. If you want we can go over to the store and look at a few baby items.. Maybe even pick some up today?", I suggest hoping he will finally agree to go and he does.

"I would like that", he smiles.

He pulls into the parking lot of the mall and parks need the front. He comes around to my door opening the door for me. He takes my hand helping me out.

"Thank you", I smile. We walk by a few stores until reaching one that has baby items. We walk over into the back of the store where the strollers and cars seats are.

"Holy shit!", I hear him shout from down the isle. A lady looking a stroller beside him glances over at him but he doesn't give her any attention.

"For fuck sakes Kassy come over here", he says motioning me to come to where he is standing.

"These range from 500 to 900 dollars! What is it made out of fucking gold", he says placing his hands in his front pocket. I roll my eyes are his sudden loud outburst.
"Luke the things we will have to buy are going to be very expensive. We have to start saving up. There is so much we have to buy. There is a stroller, car seats, a bed-".

"How many", he says and I raise an eye brow confused to what he means.

"What do you mean how many?", I ask him.

Luke runs a hand through his hair. "Fuck", he breathes.

"There is so much we have to think about... Where is this baby going to sleep? Are we going to take turns looking after it? Are you going to take it every night? Am I going to sleep over are you? We have never discussed sleeping arrangements and living arrangements", I look up to him and tears begin to fill out in his eyes.

"Fuck", he breathes trying to keep the tears from following. I take his hands and pull him close.

"Hey hey what's wrong?", I question trying to get him to look at me.

"How do you do it?", he asks softly.

"Do what?".

"For fuck sakes Kassy you are 17 years old and pregnant. How are you so calm. I haven't slept in months. I can't get the fact that we are going to be parents out of my head. I try to forgot about it but I can't because I can't hide from reality... I am so scared", his voice cracks and the tears fall from his eyes. I run my thumb along his cheek catching the tears. I never knew Luke felt like this.
"Luke", I speak but he interrupts me.

"I can't do. We can't do this".

"Yes we can".

"No we can't. I can't be a father. I know nothing about being a father. I don't even have one. I never had a role model father to look up to. How am I suppose to be one to this child. Kassy I can't do this. How are we going to do this. We are so young. How are we going to raise a baby together. We don't even live together".

My heart breaks at his words as he lose hope. I wrap my arms around him burying my head into his chest.

"Luke. We are going to get through this", I tell him.


"How are we going to afford this. None of of work and our parents aren't going to pay for anything... I am going to have to get a job. J have to start looking".

"Luke you don't have to".

"No Kassy. How are we going to support this child? Do you have 500 dollars for a stroller and car seat. Do you have money to buy a car seat and a high chair and all the clothing, diapers, baby wipes and toys. The list go in and on. There is no way we are bringing this baby into the world without the things it needs. I will stop looking tomorrow for a job", he says.

I take Luke hand as we walk out of the store.

"We are going to be okay" I manage to show him a half smile. I thought Luke was ready to leave me in the middle of the store. His speech scared me because now I know how worried he is. He is so stressed out over this baby and it isn't good for either of us to be upset and stressed.

"I am sorry", he tells me as we enter the car.

"I didn't mean t cause a scene", he frowns.

"It is okay", I tell him.

My tugs at his lip ring with his finger thinking before starting the car.

He looks over at me and smiles, "I love you".

"I love you Luke".