WORLD OF OUR OWN

Chapter 5

TOBY'S P.O.V

"Was it Abigail?"

Riley went out of the bathroom in our hotel. We just woke up and ready to do interview number... - well I wasn't sure. Have stopped counting since day two.

"Yeah."

"You guys good?"

I cleared my throat. Didn't have the answer. Riley was just like Connor, and like myself as well, we stayed around people we loved without question. But for once in my life, this long distance and busy days at work overwhelmed me. The doubt got stronger everyday. I blamed myself for this. But nothing I could do to myself. Even while I tried to embrace our nice little romantic moment at the beach right before we left for radio tour, it couldn't help me anyhow.

"Hey dude? You hear me?"

"Yeah?" I blinked. "I guess yeah we're good."

Riley chuckled in deep disappointment. I know I've let him down.

"No you're not."

"We're busy Ri, I can't reach her everyday."

"But you are with the fans. You have time with Twitter. You spend most of our long drive in the car tweeting. And on Instagram..."

"Stop it."

Riley turned around. "You're not..."

I walked to the bathroom. My turn to shower. Riley shouted at me telling what I should do but I barely listened. This what happened when you dated your lifetime best friend. My family has gotten closer to her each day. She even spent her time in my house with my brothers when I wasn't around. She didn't need me to be her reason to check on my family's condition. Abby could easily walk through the front door and help Mom cooking lunch at anytime without second thought. I felt the luckiest to have her by my side. However, it started to fade away.

"You're joking. Tobs, we don't do that." Riley still attacked me the second I walked out of the bathroom.

"Maybe if we had more settled life."

"Were you even thinking before you said that? Which one you regret the most? This life, or her?"

"I'd prefer the combination of both. I want to have both. Because yes Riley I know how precious she is but I can't deal with uncertainty everyday!"

"Talk to yourself about uncertainty. Get on her shoes." He glared me. "Because you supposed to be the one who understands her most."

Sigh. Let's stop this all. I couldn't think clearly. Let's just fake some laughter again on radio. Find something which could help me forget this for a while. Let's find some cool friends.

The car took us to Kiis FM to do live interview and radio session. Connor and Riley talked about everything in the car but basically Riley ignored me because he's pissed. I didn't mind. This silence could work along with me.

"I miss Orlando." Connor sighed a deep breath.

"Yeah." James nodded. "I miss my wife."

"Have you called her, Pops?"

"Of course. She's doing great. She asked what to serve on next Thanksgiving. I was like 'Oh really can we even discuss about the big turkey?' Hahaha she's buying a big one today I guess."

"Turkey. Nice." Riley smirked. "Nice you called her though."

"Yeah right." Connor added. "Hey Tobs you're too quiet. You okay?"

"He's thinking about what to do with girlfriend back in hometown." Riley rolled his eyes in disappointment.

"Apparently not." I replied. "I would not call anymore. For now."

"Whoa. Kidding, right?" Connor turned his head around because I sat in the last row seat.

"Hmm?" I raised an eyebrow, almost choked. "I don't know."

"Insane." Riley shook his head over and over again.

"But why?" Connor glared. "Is she okay?"

"I made her not okay. I can't feel it Con."

The vibes in this car turned dark and cold. I should've not dragged James and the driver into this drama. But since Connor asked, I should answer. The answer that would never be right. The answer I even hated it myself.

"Bro, whatever it is, just don't." Connor put his hand on my shoulder. "You don't wanna do this."

"I'm not sure."

"Oh my gosh." Riley added the deep sigh into this heavy conversation.

"Damn." Connor turned back around. "We love Abigail."

Please guys, I loved her too. I should have loved her too.