My Angel (Frerard)

10: February

I opened my eyes...

My surroundings... I couldn't see them... Everything was bright...

Am I dead? Is this what happens when you die?

My surroundings started to slowly form. A faint beeping was the only noise. I opened and closed my eyes a few times.

The surroundings fully formed. They confirmed that I was indeed, not dead. I laid in a bed, not mine, not Frank's, not one I recognized, but a bed nonetheless. The beeping was coming from the machine beside me, monitoring my heart.

I've never liked hospitals. Ever.

I started to move a bit, which, to my surprise, didn't hurt me that much at all. But didn't Bert cut into me? Was that not why I was here?

I ringed a button for the nurse to ask what the hell I was doing here. The room was vacant, besides me being there of course. If I'm in the hospital, why am I alone?

Does anyone care about me anymore?

The nurse ran in, shouting to the doctor. "He's awake!" She cried, running over to me. The doctor was right behind her. "Oh my god, I'll go call his family." And with that she jogged out of the room.

"Hello there, Mr. Way," the doctor said, her voice sweet and sincere. "May I call you Gerard?" I nodded. "Do you know why you are here, Gerard?"

"No," I answered honestly, studying her and deciding I liked her. She was nice, after all. "Will you tell me? I thought I got cut up by my bully at school, but I feel no pain there. Can you please explain to me what's going on?"

"I will in a moment," she sighed, writing something down quickly and setting down her clipboard. "Can you tell me the last thing you remember?"

I went on about how I left Frank's house and got cut up by Bert, and seeing Frank and falling asleep after that.

"Gerard, none of that was real, it was a dream," she sighed, taking ahold of my hand. "Honey, what happened was you tried to commit suicide and a young man, Frank, who was fifteen at the time, stopped you. He went to take you to the nurse and you just dropped in the hallway, falling unconscious. You got sent here and you were in a coma. That was September. It's February, Gerard."

What? No, she's trying to say the day I met Frank, I went into a fucking coma?! That can't be right!!! I was there, at the nurse's office! I got the stitches! Wait, does that mean Frank and I aren't together?? No, this is bullshit! All of it! I don't remember falling!
And does that mean Ryan's not dead, if the load of bullshit she's trying to sell is true? Does that mean Frank doesn't love me? Pete and Mikey aren't together? What does it mean? Did I not get kidnapped? But I tried and I ran from them and then they caught me! I remember doing that! I felt that pain! I was there, running scared... I remember it all too well... It was fucking real! Oh my god, this can't be true. It can't. I won't let it. No. I remember it all too well for it not to be real. All too well. Fuck.

"That is not- you're lying," I accused, letting my tears fall from my eyes and yanking my hand away from hers. She was lying. She had to be. "The rest can't be a dream! It can't! I remember it all too well! It was real!" I began sobbing.

"It's okay, Gerard," she whispered soothingly in my ear, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder as I sobbed. "I'm so sorry. None of what you remember was real. It was all a dream. You've been in a coma for about six months. I'm sorry to have to tell you. The last part of your dream was probably enough to wake you up-"

"-Doctor, his family and friends are here," the nurse interrupted, peeking her head in and looking over at us. "I'm so sorry, Mr. Way..."

"Okay, let them in," the doctor ordered. The nurse took off. The doctor turned back to me, pushing my hair out of my face and tucking it behind my ear. "My name is Kitty, by the way. Just call me Dr. Kitty, okay?" I nodded, still trying to get over the fact that my life sucks again as well as the fact that everything good that happened, and all the friends I'd met, like Ray, were never my friends and none of it was true. It wasn't real.