Instant Love VI: Forever An Alsina {Hexalogy: August Alsina Story}

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*3 months later - May*

August POV:

Its been eight months and I still haven't heard from Mariah. I really am worried. Dis...isn't normal. Dis ain't tha Mariah I know. Tha one I know is always happy. Since tha kids at school, I figured I go ta house. Even though she is thirty seconds away. I ain't walkin' down my long ass driveway then across tha street I know dat much. When I get ta ha house, I felt sum'n' was off. So I turned ha knob. Ha doe was unlocked. Since I stayed strapped, I pulled tha gun out from my waist and closed ha doe. I looked around downstairs. Nun. So I go upstairs. Then I hear Martin. I put tha gun down and walk in ha room

Mariah: "Hey Aug"

Me: "Did ya know yo doe was unlocked?"

Mariah: "I know na. I thought I locked it. I guess I didn't..."

Me: "Na...Ion know if I should be pissed. Calm. Or happy dat chu back"

Mariah: "Well lemme make it easy fa you. You can eliminate dat chu happy I'm back. If you wasn't happy befoe. I know you not happy na"

I juss looked at ha. Then she sat up. All she had on was ha bra. I had ta control myself. I sat tha gun on ha dresser and walked ta ha bed. I sat on tha side she was layin' on and looked at ha

Me: "Where'd you go?"

Mariah: "California..."

I juss looked at ha...

Me: "You can't juss leave like dat, Mariah. Ta be honest...I was scared. I ain't know what happened ta you. Tha kids asked. I couldn't answer'em cuz I didn't know what ta say. I was worried about chu. I couldn't call ta see if you were okay cuz you changed yo numba. You left without a trace. Dat shit ain't coo' fa'real. You can't be disappearin' like dat..."

She turned ha head and I turned it back towards mines

Me: "Why did you leave?"

Mariah: "Ta find myself. I went by Lisa's. Then I went by Quees grave. Put some flowers there. I had ta release some truth. I felt like...I was...losin' my fuckin' mind"

Me: "I said tha exact samethang"

She mean mugged me. Sum'n' tol' me ta turn around. When I turned my head I seen some pills. I look at ha then got up and walk ta tha table on tha otha side of ha bed. I picked'em up and looked at ha

Me: "Antidepressants? Mariah?"

Mariah: "*sighs* While I was there, I...went ta a doctor. I knew sum'n' was wrong so I went. I was, literally, in a depressed mood. I cried a lot. I did...not like myself as a person. I didn't feel comfortable wit myself. Then at one point...I thought about endin' it. Period. Dats when it really hit me...go see a dictor cuz dat was too much fa me. So dey ran all tha test. Er'thang dey needed ta do. And it came back...and I have depression. It juss got worse ova tha years. Then when Quees died...it came full force"

I sat on tha bed and rubbed my hand down my face. I looked at tha pills then at ha

Me: "I knew sum'n' was off wit chu. By tha way you were actin'. I'm slowly...losin' tha Mariah I know. Bad part is...I'm part of yo depression. I added on ta it. I feel guilty as shit! Juss like you said you feel like you failed as my wife. Dats how you feel. But I know fa a fact dat I failed as yo husband. I did...not see our marriage and our family bein' dis way. What so eva. We were solid. I didn't want dis. At all. Mariah, I'm really sorry. Juss ta put it out all on tha table. I'm sorry fa er'thang" I said lookin' in ha eyes

I wiped ha cheek and she pushed ha hair back

Mariah: "I'm sorry, too. From my heart"

She moved tha cover and leaned up and kissed me. I kissed back and she took tha pills outta my hands and put tha pills in tha drawer. She took off my shirt and unbuckled my pants as I took off my shoes