Ouran Host Club Hostess (DISCONTINUED)

Twin Devils

Tamaki called an emergency meeting of the Host Club to discuss the problem of twins. Haruhi and I sat side by side, and I was reading Alice in Wonderland, which I had borrowed from the library. Kyouya was tapping numbers into his calculator while Tamaki was lying face-down on the table, apparently exasperated.

Finally, Kyouya spoke. "If this situation goes on, we'll be forced to stop selling the brotherly love," he said as he scribbled something down. "Designations will definitely drop. That will definitely be a problem. Oh, Kyoko, Haruhi..." We looked over at him, wary at how calm he sounded. He smiled at us in that fake manner of his. "You two don't have to feel responsible for anything, even if the cause of their fight was simply one thoughtless little comment."

We both sweatdropped. "He so blames us," I muttered, and then I looked over at Honey when he spoke.

"This is the first time that Hika-chan and Kao-chan have fought, right?" He stared at Usa-chan in his hands. Haruhi focused on him as well. "I've known them since kindergarten, even though I didn't talk to them since we were in different grades..." I sweatdropped again. I keep forgetting that this adorable munchkin is actually two years older than I am. "...but I noticed that they always played by themselves."

Tamaki nodded as he seemed to remember something too. "Yeah, I've only known them since middle school, and they were pretty odd. It was like they wouldn't let anyone get close to them except each other."

The way Tamaki described the twins made me feel sad. "So they were always alone?" I wondered. I stared at the pages of my book, not seeing the words.

"So they only had each other," Haruhi murmured.

"But, maybe this could be good for them!" Tamaki suggested. "If they're fighting, doesn't that mean that their world is expanding? It might actually be best if we just left them to it."

I looked out the window at the setting sun. "But, if this is their first fight, then how will they know when to stop?"

"If this is the first time they've ever fought and been angry with each other," Haruhi said agreed with me. "They probably don't even know how to make up." The atmosphere of the club turned depressed and worried.

oOo

The twins, in fact, did not stop arguing throughout the day. As a result, the Host Club had to be temporarily closed for that day. Haruhi and I stood side by side inside the Third Music Room, and gazed up at the impressive pile of thrown objects. Honey-senpai was sitting at the top, clutching Usa-chan ad rocking back and forth.

I looked at the twins. They were breathing heavily, but still glaring at each other like they wanted to kill each other. I sighed and spoke aloud to no one in particular. "How are they not tired yet?"

Tamaki looked to be at the end of his rope. He was twitching and pinching the skin of his forehead. "You two are still fighting, after all this time?" He growled. "You troublesome siblings..."

"Troublesome?" Hikaru scoffed. "Ha, I'm the troubled one for having the same face as Kaoru," he glared at his twin. "I'm tired of always being mistaken for you! The truth is, I really hate you!"

"This is getting out of hand," I muttered.

Kaoru returned the glare with equal heat. "That's my line," he yelled back. "And to prove it..." he reached into his blazer pocket and pulled out a wooden doll shaped like a cat. "Look, the voodoo doll I bought from Nekozawa-senpai!" Tamaki screamed and ran away at the sight of the doll.

"Who's Nekozawa-senpai?" I asked Haruhi.

"The authoress accidentally cut him out."

"What?"

"Nothing."

I focused back on the twins. Kaoru had pulled out a pen and was scribbling something on the back of the doll. "I'm going to write your name on it, and then you'll be plagued with a lot of problems and misfortunes!"

I scowled. Enough was enough! Haruhi and I stepped forward. My cousin knocked Kaoru on the head while I bopped Hikaru. "Would you two just quit it already?" I yelled at them angrily. I grabbed the voodoo doll from where it had fallen on the floor. "Don't bring something so dangerous into a fight as stupid as this!"

"Both of you are to blame for this fight! It's bad enough that you guys are arguing," Haruhi scolded them. "But you're bothering everyone as well and inconveniencing them!"

"Make up with each other right now! " I told them furiously. "If you two don't apologise to each other and make up, we'll never let you visit us!"

There was silence for a while as the twins gazed up at us with stunned expressions. Finally, their lips twitched. To my shock, they both smirked. "Hmmm?" Haruhi and I stared at them in confusion. They got up and leaned closer to us. "So, if we make up, we can visit you guys?"

Suddenly, they crossed arms and leaned against each other behind us like they were the best of friends. I blinked, and I looked down at the voodoo doll. Suddenly suspicious, I turned it over. One word was scrawled over the wood in bold black ink: Fail.

Suddenly, everything made sense. "THE HELL?" Haruhi took the doll from me and looked at it. when she saw what was written on it, her soul seemed to leave her body.

The twins started doing their twincest love act. We had told them to make up, after all. "I'm sorry Kaoru," Hikaru cupped his brother's cheek gently. "Even though I'm the older twin, I said such horrible things to you..."

"Oh Hikaru," Kaoru held his brother's shoulders and gazed into his eyes with an anguished expression. "I'm the one who should be sorry. Even though I was only following your script, I was so worried about hurting you..."

"Kaoru, I'm never letting you go again!"

"Hikaru!"

I blinked and looked away. "I think I'm gonna puke," I said. Haruhi was on all fours on the ground, apparently having given up on life at that moment. Honey-senpai was waving his arms around like an angry chibi character.

"So this was a fake fight?"

"What, we were bored!" The twins said simultaneously. "And we wanted to be able to visit Kyoko and Haruhi! Ah, that was fun! Kakakakaka!"

I suddenly recovered from my stunned stupor, and glared at the two of them. I cracked my knuckles and developed an angry red aura. "Hikaru, Kaoru?" I said sweetly. They both turned to face me nervously. "YOU TWO ARE SO DEAD WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!" I leaped at them and ended up chasing the two of them around the room in a fit of relieved rage. "Get back here the two of you! I am going to kill you both!"

"It was just for fun, Kyo-koi!"

"Dammit Hikaru, get back here the two of you!"

oOo

After the whole thing was cleared up, the Host Club was reopened. I was glad. These people were my friends, and it was nice to see everyone happy and not fighting. "Alright, time for the Which One is Hikaru game?"

The twins still had their hair dyed. They hadn't washed off the dye when they went home. One girl raised her hand shyly. "Um, I think the pink one is Hikaru?"

"Correct!" The twins cheered. The other girls clapped.

"So you guys aren't taking the dye off, even after making up?" One girl asked.

"I'm glad though, it'll be easier to tell you apart now," another girl smiled. I walked past them, pushing my snack tray in front of me. Then I took another look at the twins, and I shook my head.

"You're wrong," I said, smiling at the girls. "The pink one is Kaoru, and the blue one's Hikaru."

"You guys switched your hair colours, huh?" Haruhi smiled, and the two of us walked away. I was aware of the twins staring at us as we walked away, as though we had done something strange and amazing.

Twins POV

"Hikaru...you know, they're the first..."

"I know."

"...without guessing either."

Have you noticed Hikaru? The world, until now, has always been 'our world' or 'everything outside our world'. This is the first time real intruders have appeared.