Skinny

Chapter Eighteen

My hair is falling over the place, cascading around my pillow as if I have a lion mane. I've been fighting for sleep for what seems like an eternity. Luke's chest rises and falls with everything breath and he looks so peaceful that it's honestly terrifying. I've tried to forget what happened recently but I can't make myself. Just two months ago, Luke was lying in a hospital bed almost dead because of me. My bladder aches letting me know that I have to go to the bathroom again. Third time tonight which is a big reason why I can't sleep. With everything going on recently, I honestly don't think it's the right time to even mention it. Having a child is the last thing we need right now so I honestly have no clue as what I should do. All I can think about is what mother told me when I was younger. I guess you could consider it "the talk" because that's pretty much what it was. Apparently when my mother was fourteen, she was raped and ended up getting pregnant. My grandparents, being pillars of the community forced her into an abortion. "Either you go, or that bastard child of yours goes," is exactly what they had said. Only being fourteen, it wasn't like she had much of a choice. What was she supposed to do? She was only a kid herself and if she did keep the baby, she'd be homeless and so would the kid so of course, she decided to go through with it. She really was never the same. My mother had partied, drank herself into a stupor and at age seventeen, gave birth to another child. This one was a boy and was out of reach of my grandparents so she decided to give him up for adoption. The papers were closed and double stamped and she never heard from him and still hasn't to this day which is exactly how she had wanted it. In her late twenty's, she met my dad and years later married and gave birth to my sister Payten. I came six years later, unexpected as always, but a miracle baby none the less. I make my way back to the bed and sit on the edge, looking at Luke while he sleeps. He'd be an amazing father don't get me wrong. He's always been good with kids. Even our friends with children trust him alone with them so I knew he'd be good at it. I lay back down and try to clear my head. Like stirs beside me and I snuggle close to him. We can talk about it the morning I suppose.

I'm awakened by the sound of the shower running. After turning to my side I realize that Luke isn't beside me anymore. That normal feeling of nasuea I've been feeling for more than a month. Usually Luke has already left for work or is in the study so I don't have to worry about him noticing but I know he will since he's already in the bathroom. My choices are pretty scarce at the moment. Either risk going into the bathroom and being seen throwing everything in my stomach or find a way to make it outside and to the side of the woods and by the way my stomach is starting to churn, I'm probably better off by risking it in the bathroom. I throw the blanket off of me and run to the toliet, hoping that the water running might be loud enough that Luke doesn't hear. After the first gut wrenching gag, I hear him abruptly turn the shower off and the glass door is pulled open. "Maci, oh my gosh, are you okay," he asks worriedly. I race through my mind trying to find a good enough excuse for why I'm hugging the toilet this early in the morning. "I'm fine. Must be a stomach bug or something," I finally decide on but the second lurch tell other wise. Luke gets on his knees behind me, grabbing my hair into his hands and holding it snuggly. "Should I call the doctor? I know it's a Saturday but I'm sure your boss can make an exception, right?" I shake my head and wipe my mouth with a piece of rolled up toilet paper. How do I tell him? How do I tell this man who has been through so much because of me that we're pregnant? I reach up and flush the tokiet, making my way to my feet. The foul taste fills my mouth and I know for a fact that I can't possibly tell him like this. After gargling down mouth wash, I turn to Luke. He's standing there on the other aide of the bathroom, leaning against the wall. His arms crossing his chest and a pretty pissed off and worried look on his face. I know that if I don't tell him now, he'll only be more upset when he finally does find out. I know the risks of this, been there, seen that happen to so many of my own patients. The good thing is, I have someone who I know will support me one hundred percent, if not more. I make my way over the corner where he's standing. The towel wrapped around his hips is distracting enough that I calm my nerves before opening my mouth to speak. "You remember the night you asked me to stay here? With you," I start. After a couple moments of silence, and thinking in his head, his eyes light up. "Maci, oh my," he beams. I nod my head knowing that he finally understands. "I'm pregnant, Luke. We are, actually. We're pregnant." Out of all the years I've known him, as I look at him right now, I've never seen him this happy.

K, so I lied. Another authors note! Yay! We're almost done guys. I know I know. It makes me sad too but guess what?! We have the epilouge left. Now, as My readers, you get to chose what that will be about. The baby? Or maybe we'll have I be about Luke and Mack's wedding and honeymoon? ;) comment, rate, message me and let me know what you want!
Till next week,
-Marion