The Locker Room •• Ashton Irwin ••

37.

This is it. Every time I said I'd never want to break up with Ashton but now I'm sitting with the ring in the palm of my hand and I'm thinking I should end this. Ashton deserves someone from his age, someone who knows as much as he does about music and stuff. He deserves someone better than me.

It was 3 A.M. and I couldn't sleep. It's six weeks till the end of school and I know I have to finish it before we grow away from each other. I'm sorry Ashton. We're the only thoughts shooting through my head. I didn't want to break up from him but I know I should. To save us both from heartbreak.
I scouted through my room searching for shirt, boxers, all the stuff he gave me. I also picked up a picture I had from the both of us before letting it disappear in the brown box. Even the Eliton shirt had to believe it. I'd give it back to him instead of throwing it away. Even though it pains me, I can act like an adult about it.

On my way to school on monday I wonder how Ashton will take it. He'll be against it, that's for sure. But I can't do it any other way. I have to lie to him to make it easier and when I get home I can bawl my eyes out. Sounds good.

When I drive into the parking lot I look around. Finding him in his usual spot with Michael and Calum, as a shocker I see the twins are also standing near them. Maybe he didn't lie about them making up. Now they are friends and I break up with him, perfect timing. "Liz!" Ashton yells as I near them, box in hand. I quickly walk up to him and thrust the box in his hands. "What are you doing princess?" He asks. I look around at our friends and the few random people who stopped to stare.

"I'm sorry, Ashton, I'm breaking up with you." I can feel the tears rimming my eyes but I blink them away. "We just don't belong together." I turn to Izzy and ask her to tell the teachers I'm sick. I almost run to my bike and get on it putting the helmet on my head before realizing I got it from Ashton. I get off, walk towards him, hand him the keys and the helmet, and this time I don't even try to do it slowely as I run back home.

---

As I wake up I have the biggest headache I've ever had. I look around the room and see the twins standing in the doorway. "I expected you with more chocolate." Luke says, walking to my bed letting himself and a plastic back drop on my bed. "So I made Izzy buy all this candy, mainly chocolate, and we, I mean you, are going to eat it while we watch cheesy movies." I give him a small smile before crawling out of my blanket bun.  

"Thanks guys." I say. They hug me and Izz walks to the tv. 

"What are we gonna watch first. 27 dresses or Bride war?"

So it turns out that if you've seen a movie to many times you fall asleep half way through, that's a fact. Now we also have the part, that after breaking up with a long term boyfriend, that you love, you get trouble sleeping. Translation, I had a nightmare. It went like this. I was peacefully with my whole family when they all started to bleed, everywhere. Then they turned into zombies and I woke up screaming and sweating and I startled the twins making them fall of the bed, which was the only good part about. When I realized it had all been a dream I started crying. Mostly in relief but also because I missed Ashton's arms around me. For the last months every time I haad had a nightmare he would be there but ofcourse now he wasn't and that waas my own stupid fault, onlly to save myself from a later heartbreak. I wonder if Satan wants to give me my brain back, since I need it and I regret giving it to him in the first place. Back to the subject.

"Are you sure You'll be okay?" Izzy asked as they reach the door on their way home. 

"How can't I? You left all that food upstairs." I joked. "Now go. You two have to be at home on time or your mom will kill me. I would gladly live another day." The gave me those stupid sympathetic smiles and I gave them a pretty good fake grin back. They dind't notice it was fake, or I just didn't want to realize they did as they hugged me once again.

"We'll get mom to pick you up tomorrow morning. We won't let you walk to school." Luke said. 

"I can take a bus, Lucas. And Isabelle, I'm still as sane as I never was so don't worry." I pushed them out of the door and waved them off till I couldn't see them anymore. Tomorrow was gonna be a long day.

And it was. Ashton's been trying the whole day to get me to talk to him and give him aa reason for the breakup, I thought I'd already given him one, but I guess not. At the end of the day I had to practically run away from school, without result. Ashton just picked me up and threw me over his shoulder before walking to the locker room. "Why are you avoiding me?" He yelled as he put me down. 

"Because I broke up with you! What do you want to talk about?! How fun it was fucking me in the woods?" I yelled totally agitated. 

"I just want the real reason behind thats sudden break up, okay? I want to know what I did wrong!" His voice became soft. "And you were never just a fuck. I loved you, I still love you and I probably will forever love you."

"Than this will suck for you." I began. "Because we're over and never, ever getting back together." Than I ran away, like the coward I'm becoming.