Don't Deny

2

ii. Love Notes

Daehyun's POV

Still a few more weeks for the promotions. Currently we are in America to shoot for our music video 'Badman' 'Hurricane' and 'Coffee Shop'. It's gonna be really tiring with the jetlags but, all of us are really excited.

We started filming the mv for Badman, in a big abandoned building with corrosive walls, broked windows and dusty floors. "Daehyun, you're up" the director said. They put a like a mini stage for us to do the individual shoot. They put on the music and I lip syched to my parts and adlibs.

"Okay Daehyun, good job" I bowed 45º to the staff then I stepped out of the mini stage. I went over too the rest of the members. I saw Youngjae and Jongup talking to the camera as we are going to make a behind the scenes for the 3 music videos.

"Jongup, you're next" Then Jongup stood up and went to the set. Now it was just me and Youngjae to entertain the camera. "Jonguppie looks really cool" Youngjae said then the camera showed the Jongup that's full of charisma and coolness during his shoot.

Then, after everyone was done with their individual shoot, B.A.P did the choreography of the song. After a few shoots, we went to change our clothes for the next set. We all filmed together but we were in diffrent levels of the buiding. At the top, it was me and Youngjae, at the middle level was Jongup, Himchan hyung and Junhong and at the bottom was the charismatic leader, Yongguk hyung.

"Look at Yongguk hyung, he is the only one whose level doesn't have a railing, so if hyung's not carefull he could fall down" Junhong said to the camera and continued with " Hyung's really brave. It's a very leader-like thing to do"

We were given flashlighs as the set was dark, then we filmed. "Okay guys, good job. See you guys for tomorrow's shoot" the director said. "Thank you for your hard work" and B.A.P bowed to the staffs. After that we went to our hotel and into our rooms.

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After days of shooting the 3 music videos we came back to Seoul to continue practicing. "Just two more weeks guys" Himchan hyung said. "I'm so excited to see the BABYS again" Junhong said excitedly. We all nodded in agreement as I imagined seeing posters of 'B.A.P Saranghae' 'B.A.P fighting!' 'B.A.P is the best!' Made by the fans.

_______

After a few days of practicing choreography and vocals we released the music videos and performed on music shows. "Next is the cool and charismatic group, B.A.P!" The mc said. Then the BABYS shouts were heard. "Annyeoghasaeyo uri B.A.P yes sir" We chanted our greeting.

"What type of song did B.A.P go for the comeback song 'Badman'?" One of the 3 mc's asked. "Well for this comeback, we went for a song that creates awareness for the psychopaths and gangsters" Himchan hyung said. The 3 mc's nodded and then said "Bang Yongguk-ssi I heard that you wrote this song yourself"

"Uhm, yes I did wrote the song, I got the idea after I watched the news" He said in his deep baritone voice then gave his gummy smile and the BABYS went wild at his cuteness and awkwardness. "Would you mind showing the dance point of the song?" One of the mc's asked. "Of course, Jongup please show them" Youngjae said to the lead dancer.

Becuz I'm cuz I'm dangerous
I'm a badman.
I sang and Jongup spread his arms since it was the dance point. "Wahh, it's really cool we can't wait for the full performance, but now let's see the performance of the rookie group Got7" (just assume Got7 was promoting at that time) The mc said.

All of us went into our waiting room. We watched the performances on a tv in the room. After a few performances, we went on stage and performed.
I was glad that I pulled off my high note and all of us did the choreography perfectly. Then, we went back to our dorms.

I went to me and Youngjae's shared bedroom and I layed down on my bed. "I'm gonna take a shower" Youngjae said and took his towel "Good for you!" I said sarcastically and gave him a thumbs up. After that I heard the door shut and I sat up and took the paper and a pen.

Heart's beating faster and faster
Hand's shaking and shaking
Lip's trembling and trembling

I get nervous and excited
When you look at me
And I like that feeling
Please look at me more.

I continued to write the note in a purposely messy handwriting.

But, when are you going to look at me with lust?
When are you going to be happy when I'm with you?
When are you going to feel what I feel?

When will I get to be in your warm embrace?
When will I get to kiss you?
When will I have the courage to tell you?
If I tell you, will you accept me?
If I tell you, will you love me?
If I tell you, will you stay with me?

I read the passages I wrote over and over. Should I show this to the person? Should I continue to love him? Yes, I am in love with a guy. I'm gay. I am in love with him, Yoo Youngjae. I am too scared to tell him. I'm too much of a coward. I can't love him, but I want to.

This sounds really absurd but, I want to be with him for the rest of my life. I never thought that he will make me feel this way. What will happen if I tell him?
I am too scared. Even the thought of him leaving me haunts me. I don't want to lose him. I'm too much of a coward to take a risk.

But, to get what you want, you need to take risks.

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[Author's Note]

Hey Yallz! So how's the first two chapters? I'm sorry because they were alot of cuts in this chapter.

If you have any thoughts about the story please share them in the comments. And if you like the chapter please vote. Thank you :)