Don't Deny

9

ix. It's Okay

Youngjae's POV

After my flight, I went straight to the hospital my mom's admitted in. I opened the door to my mom's room. I saw my brother and dad sitting on a couch beside mom's bed. She was sleeping on the bed with the oxygen mask around her face.

My dad and brother were shocked to see me came in so suddenly. "Youngjae" my dad mumbled. "Appa, how's umma?" I asked as I approached the white covered bed. "She's not really doing fine at this moment" he answered me. I sat down on a chair just beside the bed. "Don't wake her up" my brother, Youngwon warned. I held her still warm hands. I caressed her face that looks so peaceful. Because she was sleeping, the room was dark, only the light from the window shined in the room.

"Since, it's getting late. We'll leave first. You don't wanna come along?" Dad asked. I shook my head. "Then how are you gonna go home?" He asked again. "I'll just take a taxi" I said. Youngwon hyung scoffed. "Taxi? You're an idol. Shouldn't you be like hiding from the public or something?" He said in a sarcastic tone. I turned to look at him.

"Just because I'm an idol, I can't use public transportation? So what if people recognise me?" I asked. The tension between me and Youngwon hyung bacame thick so suddenly. "What's with both of you? Youngjae, you can use the taxi if you want. Just try not to be too recogniseable. Here" my dad advised and gave me some money for the taxi fee. I accepted the money as I didn't brought any money.

"We'll be going. If your mom wakes up, tell her we said goodbye and we'll be coming back tomorrow morning" I nodded as they went out the room. I sat on the couch. I stared at the wall in front of me. I let out a sigh. What ths hell's wrong with Youngwon hyung? Is he upset I'm here? Is he mad at me?
I tried to shrug it off but the thought of him disliking me being here annoys me. Well, I didn't came here for him, I came here for mom. The sound of my phone vibrated pulled me out of my trance. I took it out of my pocket and it showed a recent message from Daehyun.

Daehyun : I miss you already!!! TOT

I replied to him since it showed it was sent a minute ago and he's propably waiting for me to answer back.

Youngjae : You're such a loner!
XD

I smiled as I sent him the message.

Daehyun : Excuse me, I'm not a loner

Youngjae : Yes you are

Daehyun : No I'm not

Daehyun : I'm not a loner

Daehyun : :p You're the one who's a loner

Youngjae : How am I a loner?

Daehyun : Because you're you

Youngjae : What

Daehyun : Everyone who's name is Youngjae is a loner

Youngjae : -_-" okay. Thanks for the explantion

Youngjae : Don't you have anything else to do?

Daehyun : The other's are propably a sleep

Daehyun : I don't wanna watch tv

Daehyun : The games on my phone are boring af and I've finished the whole game like 5 times

Daehyun : I don't have any other friends

Youngjae : Congratulations you are a succesful, true and loyal loner

Daehyun : What the hell!!!

Youngjae : Don't deny it Daebutt you're a freakin' loner

Daehyun : Watevah bij

Daehyun : I'm gonna go get some beauty sleep

Daehyun : Good night~~

Youngjae : Good night

After our little chat, I layed down on the couch. The clock in my phone showed 1:15 a.m. I rested my head on the arm rest while my eyes were getting heavier and heavier until everything was black.

________

I woke up rather to early, early like it's still dark outside. I unlocked my phone to see tge clock showed 4:45 a.m. I guess I'm used to sleep late and waking up early. I layed down on my right side to get a more comfortable position. I was feeling really uncomfortable with the couch. So I tossed and turned multiply. I wanted to text Daehyun, but he's propably a sleep at this time. I sighed as I went to the bathroom inthe hospital room.

I turned the sink's faucet and water gushed out of the pipe. I washed my hands and face for some unknown reason. As my face was cooling, I started to think about mom. Is she dying? How long will she live? Will she be okay? Questions and thoughts of mom's death came to my mind. I let out a sigh, then went out the bathroom.

I sat back on the couch. I rested my elbow on my knees while my head on my palms. I grunted at the stress and worries I'm experiencing now. I'm worrying so much about mom and stressing about the promotions. I'm just afraid if suddenly Manager Kang called and said the CEO cut my visit short. I really don't want to go back to Seoul, in mom's current health situation. I let out another sigh. This time, loud enough until I woke her.

"Youngjae?"

I heard mom said in a shocked tone. "W-why are you here?" She stuttered. I sat on the chair beside her bed. "Umma, I'm sorry for waking you up" I said to her.

"Are you feeling well?"

"How are you feeling now?"

I asked her worriedly. "I'm fine Youngjae, I'm fine" she said and smiled. "Why'd you came here?" Her voice was croaky. "Hyung called so the CEO gave me a week off" I said to her. "How are you doing at Seoul?" She asked me. "I'm doing fine" I said the held her hand. "Is everything alright there?" She asked me again. Worrying about me in Seoul.

"Everything is fine umma. This isn't about me, it's about you umma" I said to her. She smiled again. "Why didn't umma told me earlier?" She inhaled a breath. "I just couldn't. I always see you on tv, hearing your songs on the radio, I always thought that you're having an amazing time doing what you love. I'm afraid if I tell you, you would be worried more about me and disturb your work"

A tear escaped my eye. "No umma, you're more important than my work. I'm sorry you I left you umma. I'm sorry I left and didn't came back. I'm so sorry" I apologised to her multiply. I just feel so bad that I left her and not being here when she needed her family. She just smiled again. "It's okay Youngjae. Seeing you being happy, makes me really happy" more tears escaped my eyes. I couldn't shake off the thought that this will be our last conversation ever.

"I'm sorry umma"

"It's okay. Look, you grew up to be so handsome and I'm very proud of you" she said. I kissed her fragile warm hands.

"I'm sorry umma"

I said again.

"It's okay"

She said again.