Don't Deny

Special Chapter

Flashback

Seoul Arts Academy
Youngjae's POV

"Youngjae-ah want to watch a movie later?" Sora noona, my girlfriend who is older by me two years asked me. "Hey, you okay?" She asked me as she puts her backpack aside. We are currently in our academy, practicing for a yearly showcase the academy will have. There are individual practice rooms here so me and Sora noona always practice together in one of them. "Huh? I'm fine" I said to her. "Really? You don't look like it. You've been spacing out alot lately" She said as she started to hug me. "I'm fine, don't worry about it" I broked the hug and said it to her while looking into her eyes and smiling.

"I'm just nervous about the showcase" I reasoned. "Oh. Don't worry about it, we're doing a duet. So you're with me, there's nothing to be worried about" She said as she tip-toed to match my height and ruffled my hair. Although she's older, but I'm taller. "Thanks noona" I said. "Ouhh don't call me that, it makes me feel old" She said and pouted. "But you are old" She hit my shoulder. "Awhh Yoo Youngjae!" She whined. "Are you doing aegyo to look younger?" I teased her again. I smiled at her cute acts and whining. I enjoy teasing her, playing with her. I enjoy doing all the things we've done together. But I don't enjoy loving her.

Yes, my love for her isn't real. I loved her at first. I liked seeing her everyday. Now, I just want to avoid her. I liked to here her stories. Now, I'm just nodding. I don't know what happened to me. I liked her before but something happened in my heart. I just can't say it to her. I promised to her that I will make her smile, but I'll make her cry now with this confession. Her eyes are always filled with me, but I feel nothing when I look at her.

I'm afraid to tell her. She loves me so much. It hurts me to know that.

Can't I just turn back time?

__________

I went to my locker to get some stuff. As I went there, I saw Sora noona with the other guys amd girls in her grade playing around. At first, I would be really jealous and hurt to see that. Now I just want her to be with them. I don't care anymore. I ruffled my hair and continued to put and take stuff from my locker. "Hey Youngjae! You're having a duet with our Sora right? Be sure to bring her back by sundown" One of them joked and slinged his arm around Sora noona's shoulder.

That guy, Jiyoon hyung, always liked Sora noona. He can't get over the fact that a younger guy is dating her. He likes to tease me and flirt with Sora noona at times. But, I just don't care. I don't care he teases me, I don't care he flirts with her.

Sometimes I'll have the thought of saying 'Just take her' to him.

"Youngjae! Can she skip practice today? I wanna take her out" He said again. The other people in the background laughed. I just stayed silent. I never talked back to his teasings because he's my senior.

"Yah! Cut it out" Sora noona said and nudged Jiyoon hyung with her elbow. Then, she walked towards me and linked her arm with mine and we walked away. "Sorry Youngjae. Jiyoon is really a-" "A jerk. I'm fine with it" She just kept silent until we arrived at one of the individual practice rooms. I opened the door and sat on the floor. "Why don't we start singing the second verse? Since we couldn't finish it the other day" She suggested. I just nodded in response. She let out a sigh and turned on the music. She started singing the second verse and afterwards I started to sing and our voices were in harmony.
Sora stopped the song at mid-chorus. "Why did you stop it?" I asked her. "Youngjae-ah, are you really alright? Is something bothering you?" She asked me full of concern. "So suddenly?" I asked her, confused. "Youngjae, you look different. Your expressions don't seem like your in love. And you look you're in deep thought. What are you thinking about?" She asked as she approached me.

"It's....nothing. I'm fine. Wanna watch a movie?" I suggested to change the topic. "No! Youngjae, why do you always change the topic? If I ask you if you are okay, you would suddenly suggest to go out. Why are you like this? What are you thinking? What are you hiding from me? You're making me worried Youngjae" She said. I just stayed silent. No words can come out my mouth. I don't know.

Should I be honest?

She then came closer to me and hugged me. "Please Youngjae" She said her voice muffled by my t-shirt. "Noona, I'm sorry" I breathed out. "I'm sorry, I didn't kept our promise" I said to her. "W-what do you mean?" She asked, her face still on my chest. "I don't love you anymore noona"
I can feel my t-shirt get wet. I just stayed there, letting her staining my shirt with her tears. "W-why Youngjae? Why did you lie to me?" She asks as she broke the hug and looked at me with her crying eyes. "I couldn't get to tell you. I felt really bad. I didn't know what happened to me, really. I'm sorry"

"Did you loved me from the beginning?" She asked me as more tears streamed down her cheeks. "Yes, I did love you. I really did. I'm really sorry. I just feel very guilty" I said to her. "I am sorry that we ended this way. I'm sorry I broke our promise. I'm sorry I wasn't a better boyfriend to you. I want you to find another man. A better man than me. I am so sorry. Please forgive me" I said as I held her hand loosely. She put her head down as more tears are falling. I took her hair and tucked it behind her ear. I lifted her head, and smiled to her.

"I'm so sorry" I pulled her into a hug. "Please stop crying" I said while I stroke her back. We stayed like that for a few moments and she broke the hug. Her tears lessened. "Promise me Sora noona, you'll be happy after this, you'll smile more, you'll live a happier life with another and better man who is never going to stop loving you" I said to her. "How am I going to do that if the man I thought of spending my life with is you?" She said in an audible whisper. I caressed her cheek with my thumb. "I'm not the one for you. The one for you is still waiting for you and he will love you and treat you better" I said to her. She nodded and wiped her cheeks and eyes. "I'm.sorry I stained your shirt" She said with a smile. I chuckled.

"I'm gonna miss you" She said. "We can be friends right?" I asked her. "Of course" She said and nudged me. "Still with the nudging. You need to cut it out" I joked. She nudged me again and I pushed her lightly. "Come on it's getting late" I said as I picked up my backpack. She picked up her's and we both left the practice room. I walked her to her home and we stood infront of her house. "I hope you'll find the one for you" She said. "You too" I said back. She hugged me and I hugged her back.

"Bye. I-...S-see you at practice" She said and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. "Bye" I said to her then she went in her house.

I went back to my house and ruffled my hair.

I'll miss you Sora noona.

___________

Song Title : When I Was, When You Were
Artist : SM The Ballad (Krystal of F(x) and Chen of Exo)

[Author's Note]

This is just an idea I thought. I don't think is very specially to be a 'special chapter' but what the heck. I purposely publish this chapter the same time as 'Young, Wild and Free' is out. I hope the souls of BABYZ may rest in peace.

Damn B.A.P

Good Luck.