Ashling

Chapter 14

My friend, Zehra (LetsBreatheWords_) made this art. I just wanted to share it with you all. This is literally so wicked, I love you soooo much Zehra for taking the time out and making this for me. This chapter is dedicated to you girl. Thank you x
- H <3

I'm frustrated. I feel like breaking anything that's in sight and throwing everything out the window.

Not only have I been burdened with twice the work (never am I ever taking an off to my leisure), I can't stop thinking about what I did yesterday. I can't believe I opened up to a girl. I have never in my life expressed my feelings or let myself feel vulnerable in front of anyone. And yesterday I was at my weakest point. I barely know Cassandra, how did I just show her my private side?

I let her see the part of me that I never want anyone to even know about. I let her be too close to me. She's been coming in my dreams and now she's real and every time I'm with her, I lose myself. It's almost like she's overpowering me. Am I falling for her? No way! I just met her three days ago! This is insane. I need to divert myself from this, from her. I pick up my phone and make a call; this is the only thing that's making sense to me. The only thing that can make me feel sane again.

"Hey Tyler.." A seductive voice coos in my ear. Perfect.

"Romana, are you free?"

"Hmm.. I just got free from a customer and I have to meet another-"

I cut her before she can say anything, "I need to meet you now. I'm taking a short break from work and I need to meet you now."

"I have a customer waiting-"

"I said NOW! I'll pay you double the price." I growl into the phone.

Her tone lightens up, "Oh, alright. Very well, then. Where do I meet you?"

I think of calling her at home, but that'll take too long to go and then come back to work. I clear my throat and ask, "Have you seen my office building?"

"Yes, I have."

"Great. Come to the back alley there."

"Meet you in 10." She says and hangs up.

I get up and tell Sam that I have to make a phone call so I have to go downstairs. He's too busy to even suspect anything fishy so he just nods and goes back to work.

I reach the back alley and notice there's an entrance to an abandoned room. I think it used to be a small bakery or something. But then it was shut down because the owner died and it has been empty ever since. There's no lock on the door so I go and check inside. It's dark here, but that's what I need. I switch on the flashlight on my phone and inspect the place. It's not clean, but it's not dirty either. There's a couch in the corner. I wonder if anyone lives here. Whatever, I just hope that I have the place to myself for the time being. I take my coat off and hang it on the door, careful not to get it dirty.

Just as I step outside, I see Romana walking briskly towards me. She's wearing a very short skirt and a shirt which exposes her cleavage a lot. She has a flowing coat on top. She sways her hips purposefully and gives me a sly smile. That's all I need.

As soon as she comes near me, I grab her hand and pull her in the room. I crash my lips on hers and start kissing her. She smiles and mumbles, "Someone's hungry today.."
I push her against the wall and kiss her violently, making her moan. She takes off my shirt and then her hands make way to my pants. After she's done undressing me, I take off her shirt and drag her skirt down.

"Tyler.." I jump back far, breathing heavily.
It wasn't Romana's voice, it was Cassandra's. She said my name. Is she here? I quickly look around and then back at Romana. She's just dumbly standing there, a confused expression on her face. I clench my jaw as I try and regain my sanity. I need to get my mind off of Cassandra. In one big leap I'm against Romana and kissing her wildly. My hands travel all across her body and she trembles. I bite her lip and she pushes me off of her.

"What the fuck, Tyler?! You bit me!" She presses her thumb to her lip.

I don't care. I need to get Cassandra out of my system. So I ignore her whimpering and kiss her again. She's still enjoying it. I know, because she keeps moaning and playing with my hair. She's just stunned because I've never been this harsh with her before.

Glimpses of Cassandra's face and her smile flash in my mind, making my stomach churn. The darkness in the room makes me forget the light that radiates from her. It's working, she's fading from my thoughts. I make my way to Romana's neck and her perfume intoxicates me. I pick her up and take her to the couch, and I don't think about Cassandra at all.

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I watch her put her clothes back on. This was exactly what I needed. I feel energized now, refreshed, in control. There is absolutely no way I'm letting a woman overpower me. I was infatuated with Cassandra because she was coming in my dreams. But now, I won't give her another thought.

"Here you go," I say as I hand out the money to Romana.

She looks at me with disgust, like I'm some dirt she fell into and can't wait to wash herself.

"Keep it," she spits at me. "I don't need your money."

"Aww come on! We made a deal, and this my end of it. Here."

She speaks softly, "You used me. We've had sex before but you used me this time. You mistreated me."

I'm angry now. She agreed for this, there is no way I'm taking all the blame for it, "As if you didn't enjoy! You could've stopped-"

"This is what I do!" She screams at me. "This is what I do for a living! You know that! You bloody well know that.." Her voice cracks and I know I've hurt her.
"I stayed quiet the whole time because I've been treated worse. I've been hit and abused. But you.. You never treated me badly. I only stayed quiet because I knew you were hurting and you needed this."

I gulp. Is it that prominent? I feel pathetic. I have never felt so disgusted of my own self.

I find my voice and start, "Romana, I.."

She shakes her head, "Don't. You wanted to divert your mind and I served as a distraction. That's it. I don't want your money. Keep it. And if you ever, ever considered me a friend, then don't ever call me or contact me by any means."

I clench my jaw. My soul feels like someone set it on fire, that there's only ashes left which are slowly drifting away. I can't believe I hurt Romana. I can't believe I acted like such a low life. I look up at her and find her looking at me; she feels pity for me. It's evident from her face.

"Good bye, Tyler." Without another word, she takes off. I just stand there, my fists clenched. Before I can regain control, I start kicking the couch. I punch it and kick it and hit the walls.

She pities me. Just the thought of it makes me angry. No one, and absolutely no one has ever pitied me. I don't know how long I stay there, hitting and cursing. When I feel like I've done enough, I slowly step out and realize it's almost evening. Jesus, did I really spend the whole afternoon here? I sling my coat over my shoulder and make way to my car. I check my phone and see that Sam has called me around fifty times. Crap. I'm gonna have a tough time tomorrow.

But I don't care right now. For now, all I wanna do is go home and wallow in self-pity.