Ashling

Chapter 31

This chapter is full of raw emotions and so I would like to dedicate it to all my readers who've been keeping up with Ashling and loving it.
Saba (Saba_saeed22), Dalia (daliajalia), Alveena, Zehra (LetsBreatheWords_), Fatima (hazzscupcake), Adithi (voctronica), Lisa (ziallwtaf), Flavia (infinityzjm), Emma (Emmma2510) and Nishat (Nishat__).
It means a lot that you guys are taking the time out to read, I love you all a lot! x
- H <3

"My dad was a lawyer."

I pause, allowing myself to absorb this fact. Every time I say these words my body tenses.

"He was a prosecutor, or a district attorney, whatever you may call it. The complete opposite of criminal defense.. He was quite renowned, much more successful than I am."

I tug at some grass, twisting it around my finger. Cassandra just sits silently, listening closely.

"We lived in an enormous house in Queens back then. My mother was a housewife, still is. Dad's well, he's been retired for some time."

I don't know how to compile my thoughts and express them in words. I can't bring myself to speak out what I've tried so hard to hide. But I know I have to. I have to voice my past, I need to get it out of my system.

So I continue, "My parents loved each other very much. There were times, when I was around five years old, that I would come down the stairs from my room and find my parents cuddling on the couch or giggling in the kitchen while doing chores. It used to make me happy, seeing affection in their gestures."

I give a light laugh as I remember those beautiful memories, when my family was in a state of bliss.

"He got this one case.. I don't know what it was, but it made him very busy. It occupied all of his time. He was working night and day on it; his sleeping schedule was messed up, he barely ate anything.. During that time, he used to act like Mom and I were invisible; he always dismissed us, never even bothered to look up from his bundle of files and paper work. I was very young, maybe six at the time, so I couldn't quite understand the pressure he was in. But Mum always made me understand, she always consoled me. She thought it'd all be okay. She couldn't have been more wrong.."

I duck my head and clench my jaw. Cassandra gently places her hand on top of mine, and waits for me to continue.

"It consumed him. That case completely swallowed him in its profoundness. Even when he won, he was never the same Matthew Chase. He had changed, it was evident. Everytime he got a case after that, he'd be so stressed and tensed.. He'd lose himself. He started drinking, heavily. He would finish 3 bottles of wine a day. Every day. It's a mystery how his liver didn't fail."