Ashling

Chapter 32

I don't know how long I just sat there, clutching Cassandra tightly while crying my heart out.

Now we're both sitting against the tree, side by side. But she's still holding on to me; her right arm is wrapped around my left arm, and her right hand is resting on it. She's leaning on me, her head on my shoulder.

"They never tried again." I say. "Mum never forgave him and he never forgave himself."

"Are they still together?" She softly asks.

"Yep.. Back then, mum couldn't even think of living alone and raising me on her own. Even though she did actually raise me alone considering I refused to cooperate with my father. But, yeah. She was too weak to separate, and I was too young to support her. Then, when I reached a reasonable age to stand up for myself and help mum, they both had learned to live by compromising. All the love was gone. I couldn't wait to turn eighteen and move out of that dreaded house, where even silence felt like it was full of screams.

"Is that why you don't like silence?"

"Yeah.. I got so used to the shouting and noises, that silence started to feel abnormal. It felt eery.. Alien. It creeped me out every time there was silence. Noise started feeling like the norm, and it kinda made me feel in control. Because I could just shut my room and scream, or blast music in full volume."

She gently rubs her hand against my arm, consoling me.

"But.." She looks up at me and asks, "Why'd you become a criminal defense lawyer?"

I look straight ahead, staring at a spot in the distance which slowly becomes blur and I divert my gaze.

"I have nothing against prosecutors. What they do is amazing and requires a lot of strength and hard work, I respect them a lot. But what happened to my father.. The way his work and dedication destroyed him, eroded him bit by bit until there was nothing left, it scared me. It really did. He was always stressed, always trying to give more. I'm not saying he shouldn't have, but he lost himself in it. And hurt me and Mum in the process."

I pause as I look down at my hands lying limply on my abdomen.

"I'm his son. As much as I hate him, I can't deny the fact that he's my biological father which means that there's a part of me that will always be like him. I knew that if I become a district attorney, I will go through the exact same thing my father did. I will hurt myself and someone close to me. So call it an easy way out or call it experience, whatever, but I knew I could never pursue my father's profession. It would've annihilated me and I would've destroyed everything in my way."

I turn my head to look at her. Once again, our faces are very close, because she's raised up her head to look at me and I've got my head ducked.

"Plus, I figured out that no one's virtuous. We're all guilty of something, even if we're innocent. So might as well save myself the headache and become a criminal defense lawyer. Even if I lose, and the person is guilty, well then hallelujah!" I end with a smirk and she playfully hits me on my stomach.

She scoots in a bit closer, and I gently rest my head on top of hers. I'm in a state if tranquility; both physically and mentally. I feel like a huge burden has been lifted off of my shoulder; I feel as if there's finally space in my heart now that I've vented everything. And with the girl I love leaning next to me and this calm settle over me, I sigh contently and close my eyes.

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I blink a couple of times to adjust my vision and yawn.

Cassandra is sound asleep on my shoulder. I chuckle lightly, not wanting to wake her up, wanting to stay in this position my whole life.

But let's be honest; my butt is killing me and I'm sure Cassandra would freak out if she's late for work.

I gently tap her hand and she stirs awake, rubbing her eyes.

"What time do you have to go back?" I ask her.

"Um.." She yawns and says in a thick voice, "4:30.."

"Okay... It's uh, 4:15 right now.."

"What?!" She jerks away and her eyes are wide with worry. "Get up, get up, get up! I need to get back on time, get up!" She's already started walking.

I obligingly get up and walk behind her.

"Well, hurry up slow poke!" She taunts.

I walk swiftly and once I'm beside her, I say, "We'll see who the slow poke is. Race you!"

With that, I break into a sprint. She gasps and starts running after me. But she fails to catch me, because I reach the car first and make an "L" sign with my hands, mouthing "Loser!"

She reaches me and says, "Whatever makes you happy, Princess."

I glare at her and she bursts out laughing.

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She's five minutes late, but I don't think that's much of a problem because she seems relaxed.

"So what're you gonna do now?" She asks as she unfastens the seat belt.

"Go home, shower, eat, watch TV, sleep."

She giggles. "Okay."

She gets out of the car and peeks in from the window. "I wanted to ask you something."

"What?" I question.

"Do you wanna go for a movie? Tomorrow or the day after? Whatever suits you."

I swear I can do my happy dance right now but I've already hit my elbow once, can't let that happen again.

"Of course! Yeah, yeah let's do it." I tell her.

She grins widely. "Awesome! Alright, so let me know. Take care, Tyler."

She smiles warmly and I return the gesture.

"Thanks, you too."

She nods and turns around, going inside the museum. I take a deep breath and start my car, ready to go home and snuggle in my bed.