Ashling

Chapter 57

Today is a new beginning for me. I'm not the same Tyler that I was a week ago.

I'm different. I feel different. That dream helped me become who I am today. As crazy as it sounds, I feel like I'm embarking on a new journey.

Suzanna's words made so much sense the moment she said them out loud. I hadn't even thought of it that way till she made me understand. Cassandra may have changed my world - at least the world I had in that dream, but she was a figment of my imagination, my mind weaved her. I don't know how that happened because I've never seen a familiar face in my life, but somehow I dreamt of her. Me. I helped myself get out of the unsatisfied state I was in.

Right after Zanna left yesterday, the first thing I did was go in my bedroom and push the curtains aside. The brightness of the sunlight made me cringe for a second, and my eyes squeezed shut as my pupils adjusted to it. But then, it felt as if every bone in me was igniting to this new energy reverberating all over my body. I felt fresh. I felt alive. Quite similar to the way I felt every time I had those little dreams.

So, here I am, heading towards my office after what feels like an eternity. I know I'll get tons of work now due to one week's absence. But I'm looking forward to it. I had forgotten how much I liked my job, getting back to it and working my butt off would be a great change.

As I cross the street, a sight too familiar, a sight which I never before paid the slightest bit of attention flashes in front of my eyes, making me freeze in my spot.

Edward Johnson.

My heart aches looking at him; he's wearing the same clothes he wears everyday, the same spot he sits in. The bowl placed on his lap is empty, as usual.

I approach him cautiously. Just as I near him, an idea clicks in my mind and instead of stopping by him, I make my way to the office building.

I know exactly how to be useful this time.

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"Mr. Dolan, may I come in?" I knock and peek from the door.

He squints his eyes and takes a proper look at me from behind his spectacles. The moment he recognizes my face, his eyes widen and he abruptly gets up from his chair, his hand hitting the coffee cup and spilling it across his table.

"Oh, my God! Let me help you." I swiftly move towards the table and grab some tissue. I start dabbing and wiping the spilled coffee but he grips my hands and stops me.

"Mr. Chase... No, please, I'll do it. You don't have to."

He looks so frightened, so extremely intimidated by me that I'm at a loss for words. Was I really this harsh that I scared this man? Did people actually fear me? Loathe me?

"I.. Mr. Dolan-"

"Todd. You uh.. You call me Todd.."

He gaze is lowered and his hands keep fidgeting. I feel horrible. I remember lashing out at him once, and insulting him because one of his workers made a careless mistake. I had no idea that insult would leave such a big scar on him.

"Well, I won't anymore. You are older than me, both in age and wisdom. And you are a respectable man who takes his job seriously."

His mouth hangs open at the sudden way I appreciate him and I can't help but feel a bit happy.

"I heard your department was looking for a janitor. Did that spot fill in yet?"

He shakes out of his trance and composes himself once again. "No, Mr. Chase. We're still searching for someone."

"I know a man who can fill in. He used to be a plumber before, but he's been out of work since some time due to a tragedy that took place in his family. I would really appreciate it if you can meet him and consider him for this job. He's old but extremely hard working."

"Sure! When can this gentleman come?"

"Tomorrow. His name is Edward Johnson."

"Alright, then. Thank you, Mr. Chase."

For the first time since I entered his office, he smiles at me. I smile back and extend my hand for a handshake. He literally beams as he shakes it firmly with his hand.

"And uh.. I apologize for all the rude things I said to you. I'm sorry."

He gives me a warm smile, again. "It's alright. No use in holding a grudge, eh?"

My smile falters a little as I think about holding grudges and forgiveness. But I push the thought away.

Just before I go out of his cabin, I hear him say, "I uh.. I'd like it if you call me Todd."

It was my turn to beam now. "Alright, Todd. See you later."

With that, I head outside.

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"Mr. Johnson?" I address him as I stand in front of him.

He looks up at me and frowns, his face twisting in recognition.

"Hello, young man. What brings you here to me?"

"You know me..?"

"Well, not really. I don't personally know who you are." He scratches his beard. "But I do know that you pass from here every day to go to work and never once have you given me a second glance."

Blood rushes to my face as I feel guilty and embarrassed.

"Yes, uh.. I got you some stuff.." I hand him the bag of food materials and put a couple hundred dollars in his bowl. Once again, I'm greeted with a startled expression that makes me realize how insensitive I used to be with everyone. No wonder people are getting the shock of their lives at this new attitude of mine.

I crouch down in front of him and place my hands on his. He seems to be even more surprised at this gesture, but remains still and quiet.

"Mr. Johnson.. No one can understand what you go through everyday, what you have gone through. The fact that self-centered people like me don't care for you, is cruelty in its most purest form. I.. I want to change that.. I want to do something for you.."

"Son.." He begins. "You've already given me food and money which will last for a couple of weeks.. What more do you want to do?"

"There's an empty spot in my office for the janitor. I gave in your name."

His eyes go wide and there's fear written all across his face. "No.. No, I can't.. I can't work.. Not after.. No. I can't. I can't."

"Hey.. You can do this. Look.. Whatever happened years ago, that is the past. You can't do anything to change that. But you can make your present better. We all have our self-worth, don't degrade yourself when you can do so much better."

Tears pool in his eyes and make their way down his cheek. His lower lips quivers and he suppresses a hiccup. With a voice barely audible, he whispers, "Thank you.."

I swallow the lump that had formed in my throat and blink away my own tears from spilling out. My heart has never felt more content than in this moment. The fact that this is a chance for him to get back on his feet is enough to make me feel like I'm on cloud nine.

"Buy some clothes and shoes with the money I gave you. And take a shower before you go. Be there at 9 am sharp, okay?"

He gives me a crooked smile and cheekily says. "Sir, yes, sir."

I nod happily and start to walk away.

"How do you know my name?"

His voice makes me turn around. "Pardon?"

"How do you know my name? You've never talked to me before. And now you've done so much for me.. What changed you..?"

I know the answer I'm about to give will make no sense to him, because quite frankly, it's something that only I will understand. But I say it anyways, because it is the truest thing to answer with.

"A dream."

And with that, I turn around and head towards work with a satisfied smile on my face.