Ashling

Chapter 29

My forehead is beaded with sweat as I wake up in a completely heartbroken state.

My mind is numb and I can't comprehend the dream I just had. I saw the tragedy he experienced.. I felt it. I felt every fear, every shock, every denial. Edward's sorrow is running in my veins; it's coursing through each and every fibre of my being. And then there was me. I saw myself from the eyes of someone else; and I don't like the picture that was portrayed. I can't believe I have the tendency to be this vain; this arrogant.

I sit up and put my head between my hands, trying to steady my breathing. I didn't even talk to Sam properly when I went back to my office yesterday, and something about my face told him that he shouldn't bother me. So he quietly went back to work. He did get the vibe that I had a fight with Cassandra, but he didn't question me.

I fought with Cassandra.. Well, it wasn't exactly a fight. But whatever it was, it made me realize two things;
1) I'm gonna try and be a more kind person, someone who cares.
2) I need to get her back.

-----------

He's just sitting there, looking aimlessly in different directions with his bowl in his hands.

I wonder if he has a place to sleep, or if he keeps sitting in the exact same spot every minute of every day. I feel sick as the dream flashes in my mind, and I recount what happened to this man. So I take a deep breath and make my way towards him.

I clear my throat and speak, "Hello..."

"Hello, son." He says while squinting up at me.

"You uh, you probably don't remember me, but I met you yesterday-"

"Of course I remember you!" He cuts me off. "You walk past here everyday. And you were here for the pretty lady yesterday.. What was her name..? Uh.. Cass.. Cassandra.."

I nod and say, "That's her, sir."

He smiles warmly. "Lovely girl. One of the most kind people I've ever known. She just saw me sitting here and came up and asked my name. No one's ever done that... She talked to me.."

My throat feels dry and I swallow hard. He looks so shattered that it's making me feel pain; but it's nothing compared to the pain he has been in since God knows how many years.

I clear my throat again. "I uh.. I bought some eatables for you.."

I hand him the brown bag that has some buns, chips, and water bottles in it. At first he just stares at it in complete shock, his face twisted in amazement. Then he looks at me with glassy eyes and nods gratefully. I quickly fish out my wallet from my coat pocket and keep a couple of hundred dollar bills in his bowl.

"Keep this too.." I tell him.

He softly whispers, "Thank you... I, thank you so much.."

"Take care of yourself, Mr. Johnson.."

He looks down at the stuff I've given him and cries silently. I slowly step back and start to leave. Just as I near my office building, I turn around to give Edward a last look. He's watching me with a soft smile on his face. I lift my hand up to give him a little wave, and he returns it back with gratitude.

He's just like me. He's just like any other human being. It's just that some of us refuse to look at him, refuse to acknowledge him. And that is where we all are at fault. Because we fail to realize that we all came from the same source; if not from the same womb, and we're all meant die and turn into nothing.

Now I understand why people say they feel fuzzy by helping others. Because right now, I have this warm feeling radiating in the pit of my stomach, and I swear, I have never felt serenity like this ever before than in this moment.

----------

I buy a bouquet of lillies and head over to Madame Tussaud's. I have to apologize to Cassandra, God knows how much it's killing me to think the way she looked yesterday. Broken; like my words had crushed her inside out. Betrayed; because she never would have imagined that I could be so insensitive.

I go inside the museum and head towards the reception.

"Hello." I greet the receptionist.

She looks up at me and instantly blushes. I've had these sort of encounters with girls before; their cheeks flaring red at just the sight of me or when I talk to them. But for some reason, I don't feel proud or smug right now. In this moment, all I wanna see is Cassandra. So instead of flirting with the receptionist, I give her a warm smile and ask, "Would you mind telling me when Cassandra Evans will get free? She's a tour guide here."

The receptionist shakes her thoughts away and composes herself. She types on the keyboard and looks at the laptop's screen.

"Her break starts right now, and it's a two hour break."

She smiles at me and then points something behind me. "Oh, look! There she is."

Electricity shoots through me at the fact that she's right behind me, and I turn around like a whirlwind, desperate to look at her. She's looking sideways at her bag and trying to manage it. Then she looks up straight ahead and our eyes meet. I swear, I can hear violens right now, it's that romantic. Because we're both standing frozen in our spots, and it's just the two of us, the rest is all a blur.

Then she clenches her jaw and without saying a word makes her way towards the door.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey!" I follow her as she steps out. I quickly come and stand in front of her.

She looks at me annoyingly. "What? I don't wanna talk to you, Tyler."

"I know, I know. And you have every right not to. But please.. Just hear me out.."

She turns her head away and looks sideways, contemplating whether to dismiss me or give me a chance.

"Fine." She huffs.

"I'm sorry." I begin. "I really am. I know I was selfish and rude yesterday when there was no need to be. I was insensitive; not only to Edward but to you as well."

She sighs lightly as she looks at me, her eyes sad.

"Cassandra, I.. Before you came, before I met you, I was this person who had his eyes closed to everything happening around. I only cared about myself. I only worked according to my preference. But then I met you, and I don't know how this may sound like, but you opened my eyes. You really did. You've been teaching me so much, guiding me.. I know this sounds completely insane but you've been helping me become a better person. And yesterday was one example. I.. I bought Edward some food and uh.. gave him money today.." I sheepishly say.

Her expression softens a bit, and I end my apology by saying, "I'm not saying I don't have flaws. I do. I'm flawed and damaged, but I'm working on it. And I promise you, I wont ever stop."

This is a first for me. I have never truly apologized to anyone, I have never surrendered. But telling all this to Cassandra, I realize that I actually mean each and every word I just said.

Her lips curve in the slightest of smiles, and I can feel my whole body relaxing. Then she looks me up and down and bursts out laughing. I frown and check my clothing, then look at her. Oh. Now I know why she's laughing. We look like twins. Freaking twins who wear complementary clothing and walk hand-in-hand going all "la la la la la".

She's wearing a white shirt with blue shorts. And I'm wearing a blue shirt with white khakhi pants.

"What is this?" She says while laughing.

I'm going hysterical as well, this is ridiculous. I lick my lip and calm myself, exhaling to signal that I'm done laughing. She straightens herself too.

"I was told you have a two hour break."

"Yeah, just got free."

"I'd like to take you somewhere." I tell her.

"Where?"

"I was thinking of going to Central Park. I uh.. I wanted some fresh air.. So, I thought maybe you'd like to come..?"

She smiles and says, "I'd love to."

I nod and open the car door for her.