Make Me STAY

Phoenix

Minho's soulmark had faded over the last few weeks to the point where it was easily missable to someone who didn't know it was there. He rubbed his thumb over the pale mark and shuddered at the memories of the day he received it. 

It had been a normal day. There was no warning. One minute he was dancing, and the next he felt as though he had been punched in the chest. His left ring finger burned, and he felt a presence within him, but only for a moment as it faded away, like his life force was being drained. It left him feeling cold and weak. He barely registered falling to the floor.

As he stared at the mark, he wondered what his soulmate had been like. A person he would never meet, but would always miss. He imagined various scenarios of how they could have met, what their life together might have looked like, and the happiness they could have shared. But none of those things would happen now, and it was all his fault.

This was his penance. The consequence of wishing for another to be his soulmate. He had tried to will Rose being his soulmate, into existence, and instead, fate had taken his true soulmate away from him.  He killed his soulmate with his selfishness, and Minho would never be able to forgive himself.

For the first few weeks, he walked around like an empty shell. As though he was detached from his physical body. While he went through the motions, attending his schedule, dancing and singing. But it was as though he was on autopilot. After that, he became angry.

The pounding of gloves meeting the punching bag echoed around the room. Minho didn't know how long he had been there, and he didn't care. He welcomed the ache in his hands and body. He ignored the sweat dripping down his back. Boxing was a release for his rage, and his mind was full of dark thoughts.

Why had he let himself hope that Rose could be his? Why did fate answer his wish so brutally? Why was Rose so perfect that he couldn't help but fall for her? Why couldn't he have a happy ending, too?

"Hyung! Stop, please! You're going to hurt yourself! Hyung!

Minho swung around and nearly hit Jisung, who stared at him with wide eyes. The younger's eyes shone with unshed tears, and the sight broke the dancer out of his rage cycle.

"Minho-Hyung?"

"Sorry, Jisung. I was..."

"It's okay, Hyung. But you might want to stop now."

Minho nodded, and Jisung helped him take his gloves off. The dancer hissed as the right one came off.

"Are you hurt, Hyung?"

As Minho stretched his fingers and bent his wrist, he couldn't stop his body from flinching at the pain the movement caused. He shrugged.

"I'll live."

Jisung frowned before letting out a sigh. He dragged the older Idol to the medical room before heading home. The apartment was empty as he had asked the others to give him and Minho some space. Guiding the still silent dancer to his bed, Jisung got them both comfortable before pondering how to get Minho to open up.

"I'm here if you want to talk about it, Hyung."

"Talk about what?"

"Anything. Everything. Perhaps why you said what you told me that day? Why do you think it's your fault?"

"Fine. It's not like it matters now. Things can't get any worse."

He tried not to react in case Minho changed his mind, but Jisung was surprised at how easily the dancer had agreed to talk. He watched as Minho took a deep breath and was frozen by the confession he made.

"I love Rose. I fell in love with Rose. I wanted her to be my soulmate. I wished for her to be my soulmate, but she wasn't, and my soulmate died because I didn't want them. They were in the way, and fate got rid of them for me. I'm a monster."