Broken Minds, Broken Hearts - Jaspar

08

((I just can't do it anymore Zoë.))

Zoës POV

I found Joe under the stairs.

We used to hide in here as children so we could scare our parents.

I knocked and then crawled in and sat next to Joe.

His eyes look sore and I could tell he had just been crying.

He said nothing. He just looked at me.

Minutes past until I grabbed him and hugged him.

To my surprise he wrapped his weak arms around me and I started to feel my shoulder getting wet again.

Joe was either dribbling or crying. I'm gonna go with crying.

I patted his back and we stayed like that for about 3 minutes.

"Joe. Listen to me. Whatever you are worried about, its gone." I told him. I guessed that he was worried about something.

"I can't do it anymore Zoë."

That sentence made me worrid.
"Do what?"

"Be happy."

"Yes you can Joe!"

"You don't understand Zoë. Someone told Caspar about that night." He put his hands over his face.

"I know." I whispered.

"How?" Joe questioned.

"Caspar told me." I winced and waited for Joe to say some idiotic remarks about how 'Horrid' Caspar was but he didn't.

He completely changed the subject.

"Zoë? You must promise to never repeat anything that I say right now." Joe became extremely serious.

"i promise. What stays in the closet stays in the closet..." I noticed what I said and started to laugh.

To my surprise,again, Joe laughed. This was not a fake laugh.

Then the laughter stopped and it all got serious again.
"Am I gay Zoë?"

Why would he ask me this question?

"Joe. The only person who can answer that question is you." I placed my hand on his knee, "I support you if you are and I will support you if your not."

Joe threw his arms in the air and yelled, "Woo!"

For a minute I had my baby brother back and I honestly couldn't believe it.

Maybe the memory was not erased. Maybe it was just lost and I could find it.

Joe crawled out the closet first and then turned to me. He stared at me with a sad expression.

I reached out and put my hand on his shoulder.

I wouldn't want a repeat of the awards night.

He jerked and sighed but then he spat, "I didnt cry. I didn't let you hug me. I didnt let you care about me. You didn't help me. Understand?"

I nodded slowly and when he was out of sight I sighed.
Joe was back and he was still an idiot.

I've once again lost my little brother.
I tiptoed upstairs and heard some voices.

I really wanted Caspar to befriend Joe. It was help Joe a lot but Joe has to let him in.

I kneel outside me door and listen.

“Joe. When you freeze what are you thinking about?"

“Just stuff."

“What stuff?"

“Just my life."

“What about your life?"

“Does it matter to you?"

Then there was a silence.

I decided to go in now.

"So, shall we play something?" I broke the silence.

But by breaking the silence I had made a new one.

My smile turned to a frown as I slid down the door.
"Truth or dare?" Caspar whispered.

I know that Joe wouldn't want to play but Caspar did and he was the guest.

"Yeah!" I eventually answered, "Joe you playing?"

Without moving a muscle(except for his mouth)Joe said, "Alright."

Maybe this night wasn't going to be that bad.

A/n
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