And I've Never Felt This Way Before (Lesbian Story)

Chapter 25 : Heart's A Fortress

The days went by in a blur. I was so busy with soccer and catching up with schoolwork, that I'd had very little time to myself. When I wasn't in class, I was on the soccer field. If I wasn't on the soccer field, I was at the gym. If I wasn't at the gym, I was probably exercising at home or doing my homework. When I finally did have some free time, I used it to catch up on sleep.

I wasn't complaining though, the exhaustion and busy schedule kept my mind off of everything else. I seemed to be coping fine, dealing with Ash's passing.

Of course, the downside was that I never really had time for Casey.

The visits were short and the kisses were rushed, I'd barely been able to see her outside of school.

I had gone to her house over the weekend, but I'd pushed myself to exhaustion at the gym before that, and I ended up falling asleep on her. Again.

She wasn't pissed or anything, and she seemed quite understanding of my daily schedule. That didn't rectify the situation though, and it didn't stop me from feeling bad.

Tuesday morning I woke up early, dragging myself out of bed to do my usual morning ritual. Shower, breakfast, coffee and a cigarette.

I was showered and dressed within a half an hour, my hair pin-straight as usual. It annoyed me to all ends sometimes, because you could literally do nothing with it. It just hung limp and straight, way too silky to tie up in hopes that it would actually behave itself. It simply slipped out of the hairband.

I was dressed in skinny jeans, coffee coloured timberlands, a tank top, and a flannel shirt tied around my waist.

After I'd eaten I sat down with my cup of coffee and a cigarette dangling in between my lips.

I hated the mornings especially. When there was no one to argue with about who was making breakfast, or who smoked the last cigarette in the box, or even yelling at someone to hurry up and get ready or else they'd be late.

Instead, I was stuck alone in this massive house. Completely alone. The only other person who actually was here most of the time was Francis, our Butler. But after her sick leave she didn't speak much. She barely even spoke to me anymore. In any case, we didn't converse much before anyway. But, then again, I didn't find the need.

I took another long drag of my cigarette, blowing smoke rings.

Checking my watch, I realised I had more time than I bargained for before I had to leave for school. I took my time smoking my cigarette, pushing away all the thoughts that came to mind. Thoughts of Ash and my mother. I needed to rid myself of this misery. And I would.

I drove to school, blasting music in my car as loud as I possibly could. Complaining that it's too early for some Bloodsimple? You need to check your life.

I pulled up into one of the parking bays, getting my bag off the back seat and locking the car as I walked off.

Inside the quad, I was greeted by someone I hadn't expected to actually speak to me again.

"Hey Kim."

I pulled down my shades, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Hey Carmen." I answered skeptically.

"How have you been?" She gave me a warm smile, leaning against one of the railings, textbook in hand. Her hair was dyed black with blue tips, which complemented her tremendously, if I was being honest. It made her eyes 'pop' and her features were sharpened by the way her layers were cut, framing her face perfectly as it fell over her shoulders in thick, healthy strands.