And I've Never Felt This Way Before (Lesbian Story)

Chapter 10

Warning : Contains references of drug abuse. Don't read if you're not comfortable with it. Mkay.

I grumbled in annoyance as Ash jumped on me to wake me up for school on Tuesday morning. I hadn't gotten much sleep last night , thanks to the uncomfortable encounter I'd had with Casey yesterday. Poor Carmen hadn't known where to put herself , after she'd came into my room and found me staring into space. I hadn't cried , which was a relief , but I was definitely put-out. The entire night I tossed and turned , only able to think about Casey. Unfortunately , because of this , Carmen was up all night too , trying to console me. That of course didn't work. So here I was , sitting up in my bed half asleep with my head in my hands. Carmen was busy taking a shower. I was almost tempted to stay home today , but I finally decided that I couldn't avoid my problems forever. Carmen came out of the bathroom , a towel wrapped around her drenched , naked body. Usually , this would excite me. I would beg her for a quick lap dance and a preview of her gorgeous body , being because my 'slut' side still got the best of me. But not today. She sat down next to me , giving me a light peck on my cheek.

"Everything okay , baby?"

"Yeah." I answered , getting up and walking into the bathroom. My shower was longer than usual , my poor attempt to clear my mind , was a hopeless fail. As I pulled on the clothes I'd chosen to wear today , slowly tying my laces Carmen came into the bathroom to brush her teeth.

"Babe , you still haven't told me what happened yesterday with Casey. I can tell it's bothering you."

I sighed , getting up off the floor and taking my toothbrush out of the glass.

"It's nothing. Just hard losing her."

"And yesterday when she said you have feelings for her..." she paused to spit into the sink. "Was that true?"

I shrugged. "We had our fair share of conflict. I guess it did revolve around the fact that I fell in love with her , but it's over now. She made it quite clear yesterday."

Carmen raised an eyebrow at me , putting her toothbrush back in its place.

"And where does that leave me? You're dating me yet you're inlove with her? That doesn't exactly sound comforting , Kimberly." She muttered before turning to walk out. I grabbed her arm quickly , setting the toothpaste and my toothbrush down on the side of the sink.

"Now hold on. This all happened before you and I actually started dating , so I'd prefer if you didn't think that. I... I like you. You know that."

She nodded weakly , and allowed me to pull her into a hug. I wrapped my arms around her waist , placing a soft kiss on her forehead. I fucking did it again. Really , Kimberly?

"I know. I just can't help but feel jealous."

"You have nothing to be jealous about." I answered honestly. Because I knew , Casey would never feel the same way. Friends was all we could possibly be , and even that seemed a little difficult to achieve right now , considering everything that had happened. Things won't be the same again , and as much as it pains me to admit it , Casey was right.

Ash left before us , meaning I'd be driving Carmen and myself. I had soccer practice today , which became rather religious because we had a game coming up next weekend as well as a soccer tour that's date hadn't been declared indefinitely yet. Carmen sat awkwardly in the passanger seat , once again leaving me at a loss of things to say when it came to trying to make small talk or some kind of conversation. This was one of the things about being in a relationship with her. We were on and off with how comfortable we were around each other. Once second we were laughing , joking , cooing at how cute the other person was (mainly being her , anyway) , and the next we struggle to keep a decent conversation going. I think it mainly had to do with us slowly beginning to express some kind of emotion and closure , sexual tension would then arise and once we'd had sex I'd go back to being a bit too antisocial and big-headed. But hey , I had no control over that.