I was born on Tuesday the 23rd of November at 8:31 in the morning. Nine minutes later my twin sister was born.
Up until I was around nine or ten I had a happy and average life, I had friends, I had best friends but most importantly I didn't care what people thought of me bit as soon as I reached ten things changed.
Not only did I lose close friends, I felt bad about myself because I was being bullied for being fat or overweight. Parents and teachers would call it puppy fat, I called it hell. Not only was I bullied for it at school, at home my brother didn't help. He would always tease me for being short and fat and ugly; I remember thinking that isn't family supposed to help you out when you feel low or are down in the dumps. Instead of doing that he thought it would be fun to make me feel worse about myself and the way I looked.
In year six came the change in hair cut and style. I changed things up a bit, I got my hair cut differently and it made me feel good.
Year seven came and it all changed again, I was asked whether I was a girl or a boy because of my hair and my weight. I was constantly called fat and it was hard making friends, especially after losing so many. At this moment in time the saying sticks and stones may break my bones but calling names won't hurt me didn't work because one way or another those names brought the walls I built up crumbling down.
Year eight came and so did the new me, I started listening to heavy metal and rock music, I started wearing black and other dark colours. I also started liking skulls and the devil and other dark things. I never though labelled myself as anything I was just changing my appearance and attitude. I made sure that I didn't care about what others said and I stood by that.
Year nine was the same as year eight except my hair was probably a different colour and my friends started to hate me for finally being who I wanted to be and not the quite one of the group. I started listening to my own opinion over everyone else's and it made everything ten times easier. Over time you begin to block everything out and only let in what you need to hear or want to hear, you build yourself a wall to protect yourself from getting hurt.
Year ten was much easier, making some new friends and moving on from past events. Year ten was a good year for me, probably the best so far out of my high school experience.
Year eleven will hold new challenges and problems to face and it will be really stressful due to gcse exams and everything.
Life in general for me has had its ups and downs so far but hopefully once high school is done with and all the gossiping and bitching is left behind, I will finally be able to live my life how I want and the way I want.
Live your life with no regrets. Take everyday as they come and remember don't take things for granted because somewhere in the world someone maybe having a worse day than you.
What I'm trying to say with this section of my writing is that even though my life was pretty shitty and I have done things I regret which I obviously haven't mentioned, you have to get past it and remember what you have. Family, friends, loved ones and to those friends you haven't met yet. There are endless things to discover about the world we live in and about ourselves, don't let anyone's opinion other than your own matter because no matter what happens you always have yourself to rely on.
Sticks and stones may break my bones but calling names won't hurt me.
The hardest thing for me to face is letting people see my emotional side. Only a few family members see me cry, friends don't see me shed a tear. Anger is something people tend to see if I'm either incredibly pissed off or just an emotional wreck and need sometime alone. Sometimes I feel like showing emotions is a sign of weakness but without them I wouldn't be human. I wouldn't be who I am. Emotions let us express how we are feeling in very few words if any. They let us learn more about ourselves and they let others know how you're feeling so they either know to stay clear or try and offer some comfort when it's needed.
Life In General make suck but wait until you have finally started living to put a label on it.
I can't wait to grow up and start a future. Can you?
