I don't know who them is, I just want to block everything out. Recently I have been thinking I seriously need to work on how people see me, I can't be known as someone who is vulnerable and weak. I just can't. It's not in my nature.
From a young age I was always independent and I kept things to myself, it is how I dealt with life, but recently I've wanted to cry more and I don't know why, I have no reason to cry I just want to. But I know, I can't.
I've asked people before why they think I act hard, even though it isn't an act I am who I am, and to be honest nobody knows. Ergh, why do I have to be so complicated?
My head is filled with unanswered questions and I find myself having a conversation with myself in my head, is that weird? It probably is due the fact that I'm not just talking I'm arguing with myself.
All I want to do is block everything and everyone out and just get on with my life; the only downfall is that I won't be able to block everyone out, there will always be the odd few people who know me and know how to get me to talk. Next term at school and I'm just going to keep my head down and get on with it. I've never been a sociable person, so keeping to myself will be easy. Obviously I will talk to people I normally do but I am not letting anyone else know the real me. Actually I don't know if anyone knows the real me, people just know parts of who I am, due to not being one for talking about emotions and feelings, I've never told anyone the real me and in fact no one has ever seen the real me. That person people know is someone that they can either hate, like or love. Either way I couldn't give a shit, no one's opinion should matter, no one's snide comments should have an affect on me.
My walls are built up and no one will break them down and I mean it when I say it. NO ONE!!!
