Seeing him and her together today made me feel the pain all over again, I didn't get why today felt worse than the others it's been what four week since we broke up and today something struck a nerve.
I guess seeing them more lovey dovey than normal is what did it, I guess I don't know why it hurt because I thought I was over him but I don't know. They say you never forget your first love but honestly I want to. I honestly want to forget how painful it is to see him with his arm around her and them laughing, I know they have loads in common and I'm glad he moved on but with her the one I hate the most out of everyone I know. That hurt a lot but mainly I was angry because it was like she was rubbing it in my face. Ergh how I wish she didn't start the petty arguments between us before maybe me and him would still be together.
Sometimes I wish I could just shout and them and let them know how much it hurts but I can't, I don't think I will ever be able to, does that make me broken.
Why does my life have to be so fucked up? I guess I know who my real friends are and by that I mean the odd three or four that I talk to.
I guess ever since they got together I started hanging with a different crowd, I started talking to people who I hadn't held a proper conversation with in ages so for that part I'm thankful but for the pain, the anger and the heartache I'm not.
Maybe the next chapter will be about something happy and something I'm good at like school work or having a intellectual debate with someone, I don't know but for now that's all I got.
