Preacher's Son

7.Lonely

Andre

After Shawn left, I just sat there.
Did he really just do that. Is he really that mad. I could say I feel bad about throwing the bottle at his head but I don't. I really feel bad about missing. He broke his promise, so I broke a bottle. He's a big boy, he'll get over it. But still I'm gonna have to put on my best acting skills and beg tonight.
I sat for a few more minutes before I decided to leave.
Shawn is my life and joy, he really is but I just can't help but to have my cake and want to eat it too. He is pretty much flawless in the boyfriend department, but sometimes you just want more. And that's where Ronnie comes in. He started out just someone to talk to about my problems with Shawn but then the attraction grew and we ended up friends with benefits. I know its wrong to do this to Shawn but... I don't know I just can't stop.
I pulled up to his house. I didn't even have to knock he just opened the door and waited for me to come. But once the door closed, No hesitation, no awkward talk, just sex.
~~~~
"You know we gotta stop doing this." I sighed.
"I'm not doing anything wrong, you gotta stop doing this. And I know as well as you do, you can't." He said putting on his shirt.
"Who says I can't." I countered.
He chuckled, "You do. Every time you show up to my house, every time we end up in bed, and every time we have this discussion."
I ran my fingers through my hair. "I want to stop but I ..."
"You can't. Cause you don't know what preacher's boy is gonna do next. And you need a safety net just in case he knocks you off that little wire of love you've been walking on for two years. I'll be here though, just sitting and waiting for you to realized that I'm the better man."
I scoffed, "How are you the better man?"
"I can do everything Preacher boy can't. I can giving all the loving you want and all the loving you need if you'd let me. I would never hide you, I could never hide, I would want to show you off to the world as mine, but hey, that's just me."
I rolled my eyes, "You got a cigarette."
~~~~
Call
No answer
Call
No answer
Call
No answer
Call
No answer
Call
No answer
Call one last time
"Hello." He answered
"Shawn! Where have you been?" I asked worriedly.
"Work." He answered in a annoyed tone.
"When are you coming home." I questioned.
"I'll be home when I get there." He responded rudely.
"Are you still mad?" I asked
"Look I'm busy so unless you called to tell me something important I'm gonna hang up." He griped.
I frowned, "Shawn, why are you acting like this? I already said..."
He hung up.
I sighed.
I guess I'll just wait. Minutes turned into hours and I found myself starring at the clock waiting.
10:00
Still not home.
11:00
Still not home.
12:00
Still not home
1:00
Still not home
2:00
Fuck it I'm going to bed.
~~~~
I woke up at 5:00 my bed was cold again. I hate waking up alone. I checked the guess room and was relieved when I saw Shawn fast asleep. As quietly as I could I climbed into bed with him. I couldn't help myself from snuggling up really close and being instantly soothe by his warmth.
Shawn let out a long sigh, "What are you doing?"
"My bed was cold." was my simple response.
"Mine too." he mumbled.
"Remember back at the beginning of our relationship when we saw that rainbow?" I asked after a moment of silence.
He turned towards me, "Yeah that was the day you got chased by a duck." He started to laugh.
I laughed too. "Yeah and you just stood to the side laughing and screaming 'Drop the bread!'"
He was laughing hysterically now. "Then... You tried to get away from the duck... By running into... The water!" Then I had to jump into the water to save you cause you didn't know how to swim."
I sighed, "That was the day you told me you loved me."
He stopped laughing but a Cheshire grin was still on his face. "Yeah I remember, the best day of my life."
I smiled, "Shawn I miss those days."
"Me too." He sighed. "But there will be more."
"Promise." I said laying my head on his chest.
He wrapped his arms around me. "Promise."
I snuggled up closer, "I love you Shawn."
"I love you too." He whispered kissing the top of my head. "Now go to sleep."