If I Got Everything That I Wanted (Book 2 of Love, Monsters and Magic)

Chapter 17

I spent two weeks in my lab with around 15 hours sleep all in. I couldn’t sleep, I didn’t want to eat and I only ate when Morgan all but shoved it down my throat. I didn’t want to sleep. I spent my time working on my suits to which I was now working on the Mark XV.

I didn’t need Pepper.

Only I did.

I rarely left the lab, only once or twice and one of those times was to oversee Pepper move all of her stuff out of our apartment. It hadn’t gone well. Not. At. All.

There was crying at first, from both of us and I’m not ashamed that I begged her not to leave. But she did. Then there came the shouting which then escalated into screaming because it was my fault this happened and at least Bruce didn’t drink himself stupid. Because Bruce would never shout at her. Because Bruce had more self-control. Because I was volatile and careless and he wasn’t. Because Bruce cared about more than just his little band of super heroes. Because I wasn’t Bruce.

I never stayed after that. I left her to get her things out and I had come back down here. I couldn’t go back to the apartment, to my apartment because how could I face the emptiness, the lack of life, the lack of Pepper?

Bruce had come down to the lab once in this two week time period. Jarvis had alerted me that he requested access and when I asked Jarvis why he didn’t use his access codes give to him he replied, “Doctor Banner doesn’t wish to intrude where he knows his presence isn’t wanted.” This way it gave me a chance to say no to seeing Banner but what good would it do?  Jarvis let Bruce in and a ruffled looking scientist shuffled into the room, staring at his hands which were twisting around his glasses. He looked like a kid who had just been caught with his hands in the cookie jar only he was living in the 16th century England and he was going to get his hands cut off.

Bruce shifted uncomfortably at his feet close to the door. I tried to ignore his presence, and pretended to focus on the Mark XV. Trying to work right now, however, was futile because my hand holding the screw driver would not stop shaking. Just look busy, Tony, just keep your head down.

A soft sigh escaped the physicist’s lips. Was he even going to say anything? Because if he wasn’t he should just leave because I have some very important things to be-

“Tony?”

Through clenched teeth, “Bruce.”

“Tony- I’m sorry. I-”

“How long, Bruce?” Looking to the other scientist, I noticed he looked baffled by the abruptness of the question. He had no idea what I was asking. He raised an eyebrow at me.

“I don’t understand. How long what?”

“How long were you and Pepper,” I waved my hands in a vague gesture, not willing to say it. Not willing to name it, “before Pepper left?”

“A few weeks. Tony- please don’t blame Pepper. It wasn’t-”

“Stop!” I threw down my screw driver and it hit the ground with a clatter. Bruce went silent in an instant. I knew fine well that nobody had dared to yell at him since his incident, but there’s always a first for everything. I looked at Bruce and found a pained expression on his face, an expression that was only too familiar. “There’s that look you had just after the battle of Manhattan. When you were getting ready to leave, and disappear into the wood work again. Slip off the radar. That might have been how you coped then but you won’t do it now. You leave now and you turn Pepper’s already chaotic life upside down. She doesn’t deserve it. She’s an amazing woman and you’re lucky, Banner, you’re so lucky. She called off the engagement for you, and this isn’t about me or about how she left me for you. But you never saw the look on her face when she left. She got hurt too. I can only imagine that she came to you right after she left me, that hurt, but if she’s happy then that’s what I care about. ” I turned back to the Mark XV. “You weren’t there when she came to collect her stuff. All of this-” Breathe. “All of this is because of you. For you. So that she can be with you. It isn’t you or her that has to suffer. Look after her, Banner, and make her happy like I never seemed to manage to do. But if you leave, if you run, then I will find you and I’ll hurt you like you will her when you leave.”

“Tony-”

“Bruce, just leave it. I miss it. I miss having you around the lab, and blowing shit up. I wish that hadn’t ever changed, but you can’t even look at me.” With a sigh, I picked up the screw driver and got back to work. This conversation was over, and Bruce knew it too. The whoosh of the security door told me that I was once again alone.

I spent another half week in the lab. I’d finished the Mark XV and was just tweeking bits. Today, thought, when Morgan brought down breakfast she stayed down in the lab with me. The company was nice even though we took to working on our own projects, it was great to have somebody around. Once I got to know here a little bit more, I learned that she had quite a sense of humour much like my own. She was witty and sarcastic and so clumsy that she put even Dumm-E to shame but it was nice to have somebody around the lab again.

We’d been working comfortably, with friendly conversation batting backwards and forward easily between us, when Jarvis told me that Director Fury of S.H.I.E.L.D was on the line.

“Stark,” the Director barked, “we’ve got a situation.” Instantly I thought of Loki.

“You’re not being serious. Goldie-locks let his crazy little brother slip his chains again?”

“It’s not Loki but we are dealing with magic. Intelligence is telling us it’s a woman. Pull yourself together, Stark, and suit up.”