Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Lucila Grey
I kept my distance, focused on my studies and priorities my long distance relationship with Kenny. I tired to be mindful that he has his own life now that he can't come visit me even when he has the chance.
Jameson makes it home more than him and tells me Kenny needs to study. I feel like my heart is not meant for true love. I actually didn't even get to say goodbye. He just left without a word so I'm starting to think it was more excuses not to see me.
I was doing well in school and I was finally feeling like I belonged. My boobs were coming in and my ass was getting a bit bigger. I was getting more of a feminine built. I hated it. I hated the way these guys lusted over me. I started to feel uncomfortable in my body more than happy. I wish I had my mom. My therapist says it's normal and asks me about luke.
I tell her honestly that I have no idea and that I don't care to know. I haven't seen him since my birthday and all I know is he made partner at my father's firm. There's no talk of wedding or babies. My world no longer revolves around him.
I don't know if I subconsciously buried the idea of him or just simply got over it. I rang Kenny's dorm room phone and it just rang. Just when I was going to hang up the landline I hear his voice "hello?" He sounds like he just woke up I look to the corner of the room and spot the clock saying 2pm.
"Hey it's Lucila" I tell him and I can feel his blank stare through the phone "I was just wondering are you coming home for winter break?!" I ask him and I hear him sigh.
"Yeah, Lucila tho I- I am... I am brining someone home though" he tells me nervously. "Well that's great! Is it your other roommate Cory?" I ask him excitedly I can't wait to meet his friends.
"No Lucy, it's- it's a girl her name is Rachel" he tells me and a feel a pit forming in my stomach. I suddenly feel sick. Maybe, maybe she is just a friend and I don't have anything to worry about.
"Lu are you there?" I hear him ask and honestly I'm not sure how to answer that question because I don't feel in my body. I feel like I'm watching myself stand there like an idiot not saying a single word.
"Yes" I was able to breath out. I don't know what to do or say. What would someone else do or say. "I'm happy for you" I tell him and I hear a light chuckle on the phone.
"Lucila I should have told you sooner.." he drifts off I guess to see if I'll defend his action. "That would have been nice I was waiting for you" I tell him truthfully. It would have been nice to not wait around this whole time believing he was just busy.
"I have to go Lucila, maybe we can talk about this when I come home. I'm home for a month." He tells me and I don't answer. I don't reply. I just allow him to hang the phone up.
