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Lucila Grey
"This is a safe space lucila" that's how she always starts our lessons. I haven't spoke to Luke in seven days and I miss him. He already brought kim over and I can tell he doesn't love me anymore. If there's a chance we will be alone in a room together he makes sure we aren't. He doesn't love me anymore and I know that but I love him.
"Lucila are you willing to share your thoughts?" Mrs. Webberly asks "I've been a disgusting girl" is the only thing I manage to say. I am gross. I've done gross things and I don't know what else I can say or do. I'm tired of keeping us a secret especially if there is no more us.
"Why do you feel this way?" She questions wondering if I will take the bait and I will I have no reason to hide something that's no longer there. "I've done adult things" I tell her and she holds her gasp in. "What are those adult things?" She asks continuing to write on her notepad "I've been touched and I've touched him back" I sit up trying to process the tears that keep coming down. "He doesn't love me" I cry and she's quick to hand me tissues.
"Lucila who doesn't love you?" She asks and I tell her "Luke he doesn't love me anymore because he loves someone else" I cry and she puts her hand on my knee "why do you feel that way?" She questions and I cry harder "he's brought her over our house, she sits in my mom's chair now" I tell her. The timer goes off but she quickly to pause it "would you like to finish this conversation?" She asks and I shake my head. "It isn't going to change anything he doesn't love me anymore" I tell her scrambling to get my bag. When I pull open the door like is there sitting on the bench starring up at me.
"Your father got stuck at work, I will be taking you home" he tells me. He stands up and starts to walk off knowing I'll follow behind. "Have a great night Lucila" Mrs. Webberly states.
- "How was therapy?" Luke questions and I don't answer I just stare outside the window of the car. "Are you going to ignore me?" He questions seemingly offended. "When you ignore me it's fine but I do it it's a problem?" I ask and his grip loosens from the wheel. "Lucila I wasn't ignoring you I was busy" he states and I let out a chuckle.
"With your girlfriend?" I ask and he nods "yes Lucila with Kimberly" he tells me and I roll my eyes. "She's nice Lucila give her a break" he tells me and I turn up the volume. He lowers it wanting to continue the conversation and I turn it up. This goes on for thirty seconds before he slaps my hand.
"Stop being a child" he tells me, " a child? Oh so when we're in bed I'm not a child?" I question and he gulps. He hit a button in me and there's a fire burning in me. I couldn't control my hands as I start to swing at him. He pulls over and try's to get ahold of my hands.
"Lucila, lucila calm down" he tells me and I can't. I hate him "I hate you, get off of me" I yell at him and I get out of the car. "Lu get in the car!" He shouts and I don't want to. "No, get off of me" I shout.
He swings open his side of the door and comes up around to get me I'm on the floor on my butt and my head to my knees. I notice his foot steps coming closer. And then I feel his presence close to me and his knee bump mine. "Are you going to talk to me?" He questions and I look up at him. His finger slides across my tears.
"I hate seeing you cry" he comforts me and I whimper. " why can't we be together? Why don't you love me?" I question him and he gulps. "I'm not supposed to Lucila. I just can't love you the way you would want me to" he tells me. I stand up and we get back in the car and don't speak another word to each other.
