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Lucila Grey
Today was the day my 16th birthday. I've seen old pictures of my mother for her sweet sixteen and she was beautiful with her golden hair and sparkling blue eyes. Her hair was in perfect curls and she wore this bright red lipstick.
I only wear it on special occasions and this is one of them. I haven't spoken or seen Luke in three months. It's now August and the first day of school is almost here. I have to think about more of my future now that I'm a junior at least that's what my guidance counselor says.
Kenny and Jameson are off to college this year and I'm going to miss my boyfriend. Kenny and I have been in a good spot since I stopped allowing Luke to consume my life. Kenny has also been extremely supportive to me wanting to wait a while for anything sexual.
Although tonight I want to do right by him tonight since he leaves in two days. I don't want to be left again. I'm scared he will leave me like Luke or worse find someone better. Last I heard Luke and Kim were trying for a baby and my heart is breaking slowly.
I'm excited for all my family to celebrate me but I was not excited to hear my dad went against my wishes and invited Luke. I'm terrified of seeing him especially with Kimberly. I haven't spoken to her since she basically told me not to call again.
That's when I realized my obsession needed to stop and I needed to grow out of obsession with Luke. Jameson and Kenny are both going to the university of Tennessee to play football there. My dad is incredibly proud of Jameson for his academic and sports scholarship. He nearly got a full ride. I don't know what I want to do much less the college. He was smart to go away, they both were. I just wish it wasn't this far away from me.
-
"Did you enjoy your party baby" Kenny muttered into my neck, he had a smidge hint of tequila on his breath from the flask he hid in his pocket but I didn't mind since he shared.
"Yes I did" I told him as I straddled him. I kissed his neck slowly and I felt him relax under my touch. "Oh baby" he moaned his hands coming to clasp around my backside and gripping me pulling me in closer. I went back to his lip interlocking ours to one and I let my tongue roam into him. He briefly swept me under him and legs as a reflect gripped on to him. He pressed his groin against mine and just as my lower parts burn with the urge for Luke it ignited for Kenny.
"I wish I could fuck you lu" he told me as I push my hand down his pants. I gripped his length in my hand fighting the urge to want to insert it into me. I moan as his tongue roams my neck. He hikes up my dress sliding my underwear off. My hand slides out of his pants and up into his hair. "Please- do something" I beg to him. He's quick to slip his fingers into me my chest rises and my back arches.
"Oh god" I gasp out clenching the sheets, I'm closing my eyes so tightly and holding in my breath. I'm so worried about making a sound and trying to enjoy the moment.
"Oh my god" I hear Luke shout. I hear a thump that must of been Kenny rolling off the bed and i immediately pull down my dress to cover my vagina, I mean it's not like he's seen it before.
I stand up swiftly and so does Kenny. "What are you doing in my room" I yell and I see Luke's Adam's Apple pop in and out. "I'm going to go" Kenny says wiping his hand and exiting the room quickly.
"What are you doing in my room?" I asked again and he closes the door behind him and suddenly I feel like I walked in on something I shouldn't have.
"I thought you were having a nightmare I heard- I heard you moaning" he confesses and I laugh. That's the best he can come with? That's kind of the biggest example of when to not walk into someone's room is when they're moaning. I think he sees the "duh" look on my face and tried to fix his words "I just mean you moaned differently with me" he whispers and I can't help but laugh.
He has to be joking that he expects me to care? Or to try to argue that? "Does Kim moan differently?" I question cornering him into the door. If he wants to play this game I will too. "Does she blow you like me?" I ask making sure to caress his arm. "Do you miss me?" I take my fingers to undue his knot from his famous striped pj pants. He grabs my hand firmly to prevent me from continuing although I can feel his hard bulge forming.
"Lucila stop" he tells me but honestly it sounded more of a plea. I look down at his hand the engagement ring she got him was pathetic it was a way to prove he's mine without him being hers yet. "I should go" he tells me putting my hand to my side. He reaches for the handle but I grab his hand. "Do you miss me at all?" This time it wasn't seductive, it wasn't a plea, it was sincere. I needed to hear him say something so I can stop thinking and just do and start my grieving process.
"I will always miss you" he tells me cupping my cheeks and kissing my forehead before exiting. I allow the tear to roll down my cheek but it was the last time I allowed it to happen for a while.
