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Lucila Grey
"I'm really glad you met me I was worried about you. When you left and then you don't show up to school.." Kenny drags off and I gulp. I wonder if he knows.
"What happens to you? James was going to kill me until he got a text from you that you were home. I can't believe I let you out of my site" he says annoyed. He looks relieved and he gives me a sly smile. I don't remember texting my brother I suppose Luke must of done it.
"How did you get home?" He questions reaching his and out touching mine softly. I bite my lip to prevent a lie and I remember Luke unleashing it saying it was my tell. He would say "now don't lie to me" I miss him. I do.
"I don't remember" I tell him which is better to lie or not admit the truth? He doesn't know Luke like I do in fact no one knows him at all. We get each other. We love each other.
"Babe?" He asks and I blink trying to lock in to concentration. "I'm sorry I spaced out" I tell him truthfully. We sit there enjoying the sunset and I picture I was somewhere else or should I say with someone else....
-
I debated calling Luke when Kenny dropped me off at home. I made it within minutes of my dad walking through the door. If he knew I was out after I didn't feel good supper would have been canceled.
I ate my soup quickly with the grilled cheese before heading to bed. I brushed my teeth and got in my pjs. I ended up pressing my recent call button to phone Luke.
"Lucila?" I hear a women's voice on the other end. I know it's Kimberly. I'm so embarrassed but I suppose I'm already in for it. "Lucila I can hear you breathing" she states and I swallow before speaking "hi ! Hi Kim how are you feeling?" I question and she sighs "well I have a broke ankle thank you for checking in." I was really hoping she'd hand the phone to Luke.
"So.." I drag off and she laughs "I'm not giving Luke the phone he has a busy day and it's 10pm" she says quietly. "Goodnight Lucila" and that was it. She hung up and I suppose rightfully so.
I think it's time I give up and not continue feeling this way about him and letting it over take me. I don't want to feel this way, needy. I want to be needed not want to need. I need to let him go and stop this.
I want this to work with Kenny and the only way it will is if I let go of the obstacle standing in my way which is Luke. That's all he is now to me, an obstacle.
