Forever Failed

Chapter 4 -- Pakisabi nalang

"If it's the only way para kausapin mo ako, Kahit sumigaw pa ako sa buong mundo,ggawin ko."

Huh?? Napailing na lang ako sa sinabi nya. Ang iwanan nga ako nagawa nya eh. So Ironic. He came into my life and left me then now he suddenly pop up? Is he expecting that since He already came back.. things will go back easily? The way he take care of me,the way he look into my eyes , the way he held my hands, the way he cry infront of me. BUT IT'S JUST A MEMORY NOW. I ONCE CLOSED MY EYES AND ERASED IT ALL.
He's now staring at my eyes directly. He look so serious. He's so serious again. I don't want to hear him. I want to cry and hurt him ! But i can't T.T

Gusto ko lang manatili sa kinalalagyan ko. Ayokong magsalita,ayokong marinig sya. But damn I can't move !

"Huh. (pailing iling ) You're talking about nonsense. Okay, listen to me. Don't ever talk to me Jeff. I want this day to be THE LAST TIME THAT WE ARE GOING TO TALK AND TO SEE EACH OTHER. GET LOST."

Tumalikod ako, hndi napigilan ng mga luha ko na bumuhos. Nagmadali akong maglakad pababa. Bakit ganon?? bumabalik lhat ng memories nmin. Di ko gustong sbihin yun T_____T hndi talaga. I really want him to back ! ~T_T~

"One more step, I will never Talk to you anymore, I will stop this. There will be no communication. You will never see JEFF PABLOV even my shadow, around you. "

Napahinto ako. Pinunasan ko mga luha ko, then i turned back to him. I jst stared at his face for a while. Saying, Jeff Pablov, I really love you. I really do. But Im sorry .. I already told to myself that I will never believe you anymore. I don't want to hurt myself again by loving you so much.

Tinalikuran ko na sya at humakbang papalayo. My tears was falling so hard. It's full of pain,ache,and hatred.
I really hate this moment. This should not happen ! T____T

JEFF'S POV

I saw her. My eyes was only at her. She turned back on me and started to go out. She just never knew what I had experienced para lang mkarating dito sa Pilipinas ! Niloko ko sila Dad.Even, na I know what will be the consequence of this stupidity. I told them that I was about to take care some of our business here. But it was too late for them to know that those Restaurant Business.. was already GONE.
I sold them. Am i that insane? Yes , I was so in loved that i could be crazy and stupid men jst because of her. I have nothing wth me when I get here. I dnt know another way to be in here. Ang alam lang nila, magsstay lang ako dito for about 2 weeks. Pero snbi ko sa srili ko na hndi ko na iiwan si Natasha ONLY IF.. SHE WILL LET ME TO LOVE HER AGAIN. IF SHE WILL ACCEPT MY HEART AGAIN. I will never let her go. Dad told me that our Business was not in a good situation. But still, hndi ko pinansin iyon. For the reason na Gusto kong mkita at mayakap si Natasha, I want to explain my side. 5 yrs. had passed pero sya prin ang gusto ko. Sya prin ang mahal ko. Dad tried to involve me into diffrent kind of arrange marriage pero paulit ulit kong tinatakbuhan iyon. I dnt want to give my presence sa isang babaeng khit kailan hndi ko minahal.
And now, she turned her back from me. Iniwan nya ako. She never choose me. She only want me to live her alone. She ask me to Get lost. But how can I? Ngayon pa bang hnda na akong ipaglaban sya? Ngayon pa ba na hnda na akong manatili ng habng buhay sknya? Ang sakit T.T ( sinuntok ko ang pader) galit na galit ako sa sarili ko. Im a stupid man ! Im so stupid ! Pinakawalan ko sya noon and now she don't want to come back already. I really love Tasha . Nagawa ko na lahat ng kapalpakan,lhat ng kalokohan, lahat ng ikasisira ng pamilya nmin pra sknya BUT SHE LEFT ME, SHE NEVER GIVE ME A CHANCE ~T_T~ She never chose me. Anong gagawin ko???? I want her to back ! I really waaant T.T But how ???!!

TASHA'S POV
Kung tntanong nyo kung nasaan ako ngayon, Andito sa kwarto ko. I jst came up. Hndi ko na alam ang gagawin ko ! Is it a mistake na pinakawalan ko sya? Mali ba na hndi ko sya bnigyan ng second chance ?
Am i that too bad?? Pero hndi . Hndi dapat. He left me once at magagawa nya pa iyon ulit . Ayoko ng maiwanan sa ikalawang pagkakataon. Takot na akong mniwala,magtiwala,masaktan at umiyak T.T I am so tired. Tired of pain and crying .

"Everytime na nkikita ko tong necklace na to, naaalala kita"

Arghhh! Tama naaaa ! ayoko ng maalala ! Bkit ba paulit ulit nlng sa isipan ko , sa pandinig ko ang lahat ng mga sinasabi nya kaninaaa !! I want to stop this ! But how can I?? If i let him go.. the one that i love the most T.T

I find the necklace at my drawer. I am suppose to throw it on the trash can.

"Bessy waaag!!"

Biglang pumasok tong babaeng to sa kwrto ko :3 Pinapasok pla sya ni Mama ? hahaha jk
How nice ? hndi man lang kumatok . Bestfriend yan eh -__-

"Tsh. Shut up."

"At bakit mo itatapon to aber?*habang isiniswing ung necklace sa harapan ko*"

"None of your business. Akin na nga yaaaan ! Umuwi ka na sainyo may pasok pa bukas !"

"Wait, Ahmm .. *sbay titig sa face ko* parang may mali?? Aha! Umiyak ka anoo???! no??"

"Anong umiyak ka dyan *sabay irap look sknya* Ano nmang iiyakan ko ha?!"

"Asuus,hndi Ano SINO kamo. Eh bakit gnyan yang mata mo ha? at bkit mo itatapon yung necklace na bnigay nya sayo ?? Wag ako Bes di mo ko maloloko *Evil Smile."

She really know me. That's what I hate. I can't deny my feelings -___-

"Tigilan mo nga ako dyan ! ano nmang connect ng necklace ha?"

"Don't tell me nag usap kayo ni Jeff??"

Hala ? pano ko ba ikkwento? Ang lakas tlga ng instinct ng babaeng to :3

"Aissshh Umuwi knaaa Hnahanap kna sainyoo *sbay tulak sknya plabas ng room ko*"

"Okaaay fine. I'll let it pass pero bukas ikwento mo skn ah ! Byeee Bessy "

I started to open my phone pagkaalis nya. I use to hear music everytime na naiistress ako. Nahiga ako at inunat ang mga kamay . I jst close my eyes and feel so relaxed.

Gusto ko mang sabihin, Di ko kayang simulan.
Pag nagkita kayo, PAKISABI NALANG.
Pakisabi nalang na Mahal ko siya.
Di na baleng may mahal syang iba.
Pakisabi Wag syang mag alala, Di ako umaasa.
Alam kong ito'y malabo, Di ko na mababago.
Gayun pa man, PAKISABI NALANG .

Nang narinig ko ito, Di ko kinaya. I jst suddenly cried.