For Our Eyes Only

11- Cruel

Johannah Deakin died two days later on December 7th 2016.

As she took her last breath and the heart monitor went flat, Louis felt like he had been crushed into a million pieces. He wanted to throw up, cry, scream, and curl up into a ball and hide from the world all at once.

Reluctantly he pulled his hand away so that the staff could take her away. He was numb as he squeezed out of the room that was currently crowded with staff and family members. He sat down shakily in a chair in the hall, where he pulled his phone out and called Harry.

It rang a few times more than usual, but it was the middle of the night after all.

"Louis is everything okay?" Harry sounded tired but his voice was filled with concern. Louis normally would have felt guilty for waking him, but at the moment his world had been completely broken.

It took Louis a moment to answer. He knew if he said it out loud it had to be real, and he struggled not to break down by saying it.

"Lou?" Harry called softly, concern somehow increasing.

"She's gone Harry," Louis began to sob.

"I'm on my way," Harry said.

He hung up, and Harry was left there in the hall alone. Harry did not take his sweet time showing up, and before Louis even knew it Harry was there.

"Lou?" Harry called, not quite running down the hall.

Louis stood up and let Harry wrap his arms around him, completely holding him without a second thought. Louis completely broke down and began to sob.

"She's gone Harry. It's not fucking fair. It's not fucking fair at all," Louis sobbed harder into Harry's shoulder.

Harry held on to Louis tighter and rubbed his back, tucking his face into Louis' hair and just holding him. "I know Lou. I know. You've got nothing to worry about now, I've got you."

Louis nodded and tucked his face towards Harry's neck, trying to calm himself. "I fucking hate cancer. It's just not fair Haz," He cried.

"Cancer is never fair. It's so cruel. But she's not in pain anymore Lou," Harry comforted.

Louis nodded and tried to focus on keeping his breathing normal. And Harry stood there, holding him, for as long as he needed. After quite a bit however, Louis did manage to calm down, at least for now.

"You think you'll be alright long enough for me to take you home?" Harry asked gently, still holding Louis.

Louis nodded, and they pulled apart. "I'm going to go in there and get your things and then take you back to mine if that's alright?"

"Yeah, that'd be nice," Louis sniffled.

"I'll be quick, you just wait here," Harry patted his arm.

It only took Harry a few minutes to pack Louis' things and then come back out into the hall.

"Alright, I talked to, Dan right? Your mum's husband?" Harry asked

Louis nodded.

"Okay yeah, I talked to Dan and he's going to get arrangements settled so you don't have to worry about anything. He was really appreciative of you spending as much time with her as you did the last couple weeks," Harry informed him.

Louis sniffled, trying not to cry again. Harry hugged him, quickly this time, and then led him out of the hospital out into his car.

Louis realized upon entering that he had never been to Harry's flat before. He looked around a little as Harry turned the lights on. It was really cozy, as well as neat. The walls crème to go with a pretty dark colored hardwood. The sofa and recliner in the sitting room were both grey, but they both had colorful pillows and blankets sat neatly on top of them. The rest of the furniture was a dark rustic wooden color, including quite a few shelves filled with all sorts of books. Even the walls had lots of color with various pictures that Harry had hung up.