For Our Eyes Only

6- Not the Same

"Louis?"

Shock had overcome his body. He didn't know whether he felt like crying or throwing up, but he had nearly dropped his phone out of shock.

"Louis?" Johannah asked again.

Louis took a deep breath. "Yeah?"

"We'll get through this baby. Everything will be alright."

Silence filled the line from both ends. Neither knew what to say. After quite a bit of it Louis managed to speak.

"Mum, are you, you're not still at the hospital are you?"

"No, they've done all the testing they need to do. I'm meant to go back next week for more testing and an evaluation for what kind of treatment they can give me to slow the progression."

Louis sighed and thought about his options. "Well uhm. shit alright. Mum, I'm going to go and let them know that I'm leaving. Do you want me to come up and see you?"

"No, It's getting late Lou its probably best you go home for the night, but if you'd like you can come and visit tomorrow."

"Alright. I love you mum. bye."

"I love you too Louis. bye."

Even after hanging up and pocketing his phone, Louis stood nearly glued to his spot for what felt like forever. He pretty well was feeling the first stage of grief and his mum was not even gone. Once he was able to collect himself, Louis dismissed himself and made for the seemingly long drive home.

Louis could hardly remember getting out of the car and into the flat, changing, and getting into bed. The last two hours felt like a sickly dream. He was hardly aware of the fact that he was staring at nothing but a blank wall where he had been too busy to hang pictures. Everything felt vaguely foggy and he ached all over, but Louis realized the ache came primarily from his heart. Whether it had been hours or just mere minutes, the tears eventually just came. Not even sobs, short, shallow breaths, or anything else, just streams of tears.

At that exact moment, Louis felt entirely helpless. He almost always went to his mum for issues and yet, his mum was the reason he felt like this. Not because she had done anything, but because there was nothing he could do to help her.

Then, Louis thought: Why didn't he just call Harry?

-

Harry was up reading in bed. It was not common to find him up this late these days as he was up so early so often, but tonight he was regardless. It had been a nice quiet day for Harry, the kind he enjoyed very much. It just felt right to sit and read for a while. He had a window open, because even the weather seemed to be nice. It was still quite cool, but still such a warm night.

When the phone rang he was confused for a moment, nobody ever seemed to call him up much aside from his mum, and he knew she had probably gone to bed long ago. When he saw that it was Louis, he put the book down quickly and answered it.

"Hey Louis, everything alright?" Harry asked, with a hint of concern in his voice.

Louis sniffled a little bit before answering. "No, not really to be honest," he said, trying to keep his tone relatively light despite the situation.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked, his concern and worry growing.

"My mum called. I think it's been a little bit now since," Louis started, careful with his words especially because they hurt so much to say. "My mum has cancer Harry. She's got terminal leukemia."

A painful silence filled the line again, tears still streamed down Louis' face.

"Oh Louis. I'm so sorry."