Healing

XXXV - writing

I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Bel, xx

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"Well, things seem to be going really well for you lately, Jinyoung," his therapist comments almost at the end of the session. Weeks have passed since the trip to Busan, and he's been working diligently on his treatment. "How have you felt now that you've been taking your medication constantly and regularly?" he asks as a following thought.

"Not much different," Jinyoung answers honestly as he lets his eyes fall on the landscape outside the large windows of the professional's office. It's a gorgeous day outside; spring is in full blossom now in the middle of April, and he can almost feel the warmth on his skin even if he's trapped in a small space. "I guess my mood swings aren't as frequent or drastic as before. I suppose that's the medication."

"Partly," the professional explains. "The medication helps to stabilise your mood, but also the routine and your disposition to work on it help enormously. Are you still looking for a job? You mentioned it a few weeks ago."

Jinyoung nods, focusing once again on his psychiatrist, noticing he actually looks glad, the smile more genuine and less practised.

"I actually went to an interview the other day, at a café. I passed it, so I'll start working part-time there."

"That's good, Jinyoung. Well done. You should start slowly, not too many hours yet, and see how you go feeling along the way."

He nods again, understanding the advice. He was already planning to work only a few days and see how it goes from there. Plus, Jinyoung still wants more of his time free to spend it with Jaebeom, even if he's getting a few more gigs lately. A few times, Jinyoung has gone with him to parties or events where his presence wouldn't be disruptive.

"Good, good. What about the new hobby? You mentioned you had started writing," the psychiatrist adds, and Jinyoung can't help wondering how he can remember that; he mentioned it so long ago it should be in very old notes.

"It's fun," he replies nonetheless. "At first, it was just like a stream of consciousness, but now I'm actually writing short horror stories. Surprisingly, I really enjoy working on those."

"That's fantastic. Have you shown anyone your stories?" Jinyoung shakes his head. "What about your boyfriend Jaebeom?"

"I don't know," Jinyoung shrugs, looking at his fingers on his lap. "I guess it's embarrassing. Not that I think Jaebeom would judge me or mock me, but... I don't know, I feel too amateur. I haven't been writing for long, and I'm sure they are rubbish."

"That isn't really what matters," the psychiatrist says softly. "This is just a hobby you're doing because you enjoy it, and letting someone else in can be a good experience. Jaebeom is someone you trust and who knows you deeply, so wouldn't it be nice to show him what you've worked on so far?"

Jinyoung hums, feeling that spark of anxiety in his chest at the prospect of letting anyone see how he's shaped the darkness that he's always felt lives in his mind. "Perhaps."

"It's not homework or something you have to do, but it probably would be a good idea, so consider it." Jinyoung presses his lips in a tight line and only nods. "Well, just keep doing as you are doing so far, and I'll see you next week."

Not much later, Jinyoung is exiting the office and subsequently, the building. The day has gotten a lot warmer, and it feels like every passerby also feels in a better mood because of the weather; they look a lot more excited, buzzing with energy. Couples are everywhere, like it always happens in spring, with matching shirts and giggling to themselves as they enjoy ice cream or any other sweet delight.