Healing

XXVIII - memories

I hope you're all having a good time and enjoy this chapter.

Bel, xx

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Jinyoung is left utterly confused. It could be just a dream, but something screams inside him that it's true, that it actually happened. Jinyoung has no way to prove it, just like he has no way to prove that while he was in a coma, he was trapped in a limbo, coming out as memories of himself, unable to reach anyone.

Until Jaebeom, apparently.

If they truly met while Jinyoung was trapped in that limbo, then it would explain why Jaebeom was there when he woke up from the coma. But how could that be possible? It just makes no sense, and it fills Jinyoung with fear that he's truly going insane.

And Jaebeom doesn't contact him the next day, which makes Jinyoung feel like he's making everything up just to justify things that don't make sense. Only Jaebeom can confirm and explain why he was there that day he woke up and why he had been lying, but Jinyoung doesn't dare to contact him first.

Instead, Jinyoung decides to hide. Turning off his phone so he doesn't look at it and feels disappointed every time he doesn't see any sign from the older man. He barely comes out of his room, only to use the bathroom when he cannot help it and when his mother forces him to eat. No matter how much she asks what happened, Jinyoung doesn't answer.

He's afraid to sleep, afraid of what his dreams will uncover, so he takes his sleeping pills despite the side effects, just to be knocked out.

Yet still, he dreams—he remembers.

Jinyoung remembers meeting Jaebeom again on the hospital rooftop, being yanked backwards once again just to have the argument about Jinyoung not trying to kill himself. Jaebeom looks so confused, angry, and fed up as they talk, as if he cannot deal with the young man's bullshit at that moment, but Jinyoung is so fascinated by the only person who can see him, touch him, and hear him. So Jinyoung becomes chatty and even teases him, even asking for his name, being the first time he learns the handsome man is Im Jaebeom.

Jaebeom's expression from that dream is exactly what Jinyoung would expect of anyone who meets him for the first time: wariness, incredulity, and a deep sense that something is wrong with him. That was why when they met again on a bridge; it was so weird how accepting Jaebeom was, and it surprised him so much. Now the younger man understands; it seems Jaebeom had time before to understand and learn to accept Jinyoung.

In another dream, Jinyoung remembers how Jaebeom saved him from an oncoming car. Of course, nothing would've happened to Jinyoung, but Jaebeom had no idea that Jinyoung could't be killed when he was a memory. In that dream, finally, Jinyoung remembers when they stood under one umbrella as the rain poured, how he got him some bread and strawberry milk to make it up to him. Jinyoung also remembers that was the day he learned about Jaebeom's mother's car accident.

"I won't get a cold if that's what you're worried about," he teased Jaebeom in his memory when the older man asked, watching him soaked wet. Jinyoung relished in the fact he could feel the rain, but he knew the moment Jaebeom left, he wouldn't feel it anymore.

"I'm not worried," Jaebeom snapped.

"I'll be fine. Go home, hyung. I'll see you around," Jinyoung smiled, not knowing how but just sure there was something unique about Jaebeom, where he only became real when he was with him.

"What makes you think we'll meet each other?" Jaebeom asked, frowning again.

"You have a tendency to show up and pull me back. It's been three times already. I almost think we're fated somehow," he answered, and Jaebeom's eyes widened in horror.