Healing

XXXVI - contest

Trigger warning: this chapter contains descriptions of self-harm and suicide attempts.

Bel, xx

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The weekend comes and with it, Jinyoung's first day at his new job. He's already gone a few times for training and he's studied all the material the café owner gave him. Still, he's starting slow. At first, he's just taking orders and if there are no customers waiting, he'll prepare the drinks while being guided. If not, he just serves the food and takes orders to their tables.

His first shift goes by in a rush of movement, countless orders, so many faces he can't remember them all, so many dishes to wash and floors to mop. By the end of his eight-hour shift, he's both mentally and physically exhausted. Yet, when he clocks out, changes into his clothes, he finds Jaebeom waiting for him with an iced americano and an iced latte. Jinyoung can't help his smile as he walks towards his boyfriend, and although the older man holds out the iced americano to him, Jinyoung ignores it just to walk into his arms and hug him, resting his head on Jaebeom's shoulder.

"Tired?" The older man asks, hugging him back the best way he can, with his hands busy.

"Yes. My cheeks hurt from politely smiling all day," Jinyoung answers as he pulls back to meet his boyfriend's gaze.

"I'm sure you charmed them all," Jaebeom grins as he says that and Jinyoung rolls his eyes.

"Only you find me that charming, hyung," he shakes his head before stepping back and finally accepting the cup Jaebeom got him.

"You aren't aware of how handsome you are, especially now that your recovery is showing," Jaebeom comments as he takes his free hand and starts walking out of the café after Jinyoung bows his goodbye to the people still working.

His recovery doesn't show only in how constant his sleep is becoming or how his anxiety remains mostly stable, but also physically. Even his mother has pointed it out when they have breakfast in the mornings, saying Jinyoung looks livelier, the dark bags under his eyes are completely gone, his complexion has gotten glowier, his face is finally filled up, and all those hollow areas in his body have disappeared. He looks like any other twenty-four-year-old man now.

"You're biased," Jinyoung accuses, and before Jaebeom can argue, he adds: "but just so you won't worry, I'll try not to charm anyone."

Jaebeom only laughs, but he stops walking, so when Jinyoung eventually continues, the older man pulls him back so they can be face-to-face, and he can steal one quick kiss.

"I appreciate you're holding back on your charms."

"Fool," Jinyoung mutters but kisses him one more time before they resume walking.

The younger man has no idea where they are going, but the spring evening is so delightful that he doesn't mind just walking hand in hand with his boyfriend, even if they have no set destination. Jinyoung tells him about his first day, all his mistakes, and the first time he managed to make an order without any input from his senior. Almost naturally, they end up at the Han River, that's so crowded with people it feels a bit suffocating.

They manage to find a place to sit on the grass where it isn't that packed, their drinks long finished. They watch the sky turn from a lovely sky blue to a warm orange tinted with pink, painting the few clouds as if they were cotton candy. The trees around them are still in bloom, although the few cherry trees have lost most of their blooms by that time in April.

"By the way, I read the latest version you sent me of your story," Jaebeom comments as he lies back on the grass, hands under his head, as his eyes are fixed on the changing sky.