Reality Meets Fantasy

Girl vs. Food

Chapter eight:

The months sure flew by, because six months had gone by. I was turning eighteen and I felt like I would cry. Wow that rhymes! Also with the word pie! Mm… pie. I suddenly had a mental image of Homer Simpson drooling at the sight of delicious food. Good old, Simpsons. And let me tell you, these months were really hard. I don’t handle pressure well too. I would often cuss which earned me a smack in the head by Sir Potamus. Stupid old, bald goose.

Plus, when I’m under heavy stress, my body tends to shut down. Well not literally. Just enough to feel numb like a walking zombie and have constant thoughts of banging my head on the desk hard enough to lose all my brain cells and then die. I will take tribute on that experiment right now! Any scientists need to prove that you can die from hitting your head on a table too many times? Only if you give me food though. I’ll do it for food.

Actually scratch that, I’m a near-vampire now. I don’t need food. I need blood. But I like food. Wait a minute, can vampires still eat food? Oh no! I will cry if I can’t ever eat food any more. Living on blood only? No thanks. That’s like eating jam for every meal.

And so my wild thoughts led me to this: going on a food rampage. There was only a few days left until I turned eighteen! The coronation stuff, wedding, blah, blah, blah. Then I would become a vampire and I wouldn’t be able to eat anymore! Human food: Delicious, yummy, succulent, scrumptious and delectable food will no longer taste appetising to me. Oh gosh. I found myself running into the royal kitchen ordering all the people to make me food. These people sure knew how to cook human food; considering the fact that they were all vampires.

Before I knew it, I had excessive amounts of meat platters, deserts and meals in front of me. I had no idea how I managed to fit all the food into my stomach but I did. That was until the head-chef stopped making more food.

“Come on Roderick! Please! You must make me more food. Come on. Time is running out!” I practically yelled at him. Seeing that he had no choice, Roderick walked away in resignation, back into the kitchen.

I continued to stuff myself with food. I promised myself that I would savour every bite and taste.

“Um… you highness! I-I, um…” I lifted my head to find a maid looking at me. Her wide eyes told me that she had a question itching away. “I’m sorry… I know it’s not my place,” she stuttered. “I’m sorry, it just slipped out.”

“Just ask the damn question already. Spit it out,” I told her. I had no time for her stuttering. It was either move it or lose it. I squeezed a can of whipped cream into my mouth. Pure heaven. 

“Are you pregnant!” The maid suddenly squealed. She jumped at her own words. As for me, I was caught off-guard. I nearly choked on whip cream. Now, how is that possible?

“WHAT? Pregnant? Are you crazy?” I was more getting offended by the second. The girl’s eyes widen in shock.

“I’m-I’m so sorry! Please don’t fire me!” I was mad at her. Calling me pregnant! Although, I did tell her to ‘spit it out,’ I was still angry.

“Pack your bags! I don’t ever want to see your face again!” I screeched. Pregnant my ass.

“Hormonal bitch,” I heard the maid mutter. I was going to run over to her and punch her but I knew she was a vampire. Right now, she was probably stronger than me. I was still a human. With the ex-maid’s fury, who knew what she would do? Even if I was royal. Anyway, whatever. I ignored her remark, consider it my payment for telling her to ‘spit it out. I looked away and stuff myself with food again.

“Alicia! You displayed a very bad image for yourself today!” My mother screeched. She stomped into my room with fury. “You are a princess of Kendmark! The maids are already talking! If this happens to get out, people will start to think that you are not fit for a princess or the throne!”

“Well she pissed me off!” I shouted back. No way was I letting my mother have me shrink away with guilt. 

“Fine. But if you do it again, I will have to send you to reform school for royals.” My mother replied with poison in her words. I scoffed at her. Reform school for royals? How stupid. I rolled my eyes, I had enough of my parents. For weeks and months, they had tried to mold me into a perfect heiress.

Every day I had to wear gowns and more gowns. Leonardo just happened to always keep an eye on me. He practically enjoyed my discomfort. Even though, we were on good terms, I still resented him. After all, an arranged candidate for marriage does not earn him brownie points at all. I was at Sir Potamus’ classes learning about the angels, being a princess, manners, strategic ruling and the law. Kendmark sure had a lot of rules! I wouldn’t be surprised if breathing was against the law! But I wouldn’t know, would I? Because there’s like a bazillion words cramped on one page with rules, rules and more rules.

As the days came by, I started to despise my parents. They put me through this. Being a princess now sucked. If I knew that there were that many things to remember, I would have settled to be a I don’t know… full time food tester. At least there wouldn’t be any lessons on posture and constant smacks on the head.

“The pressure’s getting to your head,” Leonardo assured me. I glared at him with hate. I wanted to go home. I had enough of vampires.

“This is your new home,” Leonardo said, as if he could read my mind. “By the way, why are you eating so much food? Is it true? Are you pregnant?”

“What the hell! This is so insulting!” I screamed. Even he too!

“Who’s the father?” Leonardo suddenly said with a stoned glare. I rolled my eyes at him and without thought, I punched him square on into the nose. Of course the pain would only last for two seconds.

“I’m not pregnant you fucking douche bag! Why does everyone keep thinking that!” I kicked a chair over and flipped a table. Talk about anger management.

“You know I was only joking. Besides, who would even want to get you pregnant?” Leonardo smirked. That was pure mean. It was a low blow from him! I did not like Leonardo of Quenchlin at all. He was becoming more as a jerk, the more I got to know him. It was funny because usually in books, when someone started to get to know a person really well, they’d start to show a better side. Not with Leonardo. He was bipolar or something.  

“And I think I know where you’re getting at, Alicia.”

“Princess Alicia,” I said bitterly.

“Roderick told me. And yes.”

“Yes what?” I ask Leonardo curiously.  

“Vampires can still eat human food. We eat it for leisure but blood gives us the nutrition.”

I mentally slapped myself. How could I have been so stupid. I didn’t even ask him first? Leonardo would have told me, after all; he’s my fiancé. He wasn’t so bad after all. Sometimes…

“And if you asked me earlier, I would have told you that vampires couldn’t eat human food,” Leonardo smirked. Screw what I said! Leonardo was a jerk. I still hated him.

As I could recall, Leonardo had tripped me and I fell down the stairs. Thank god I didn’t break any bones. When I was on the internet, Leonardo would snatch my devices and throw them out of the window. He even threw out all my underwear! Childish much? Whenever I tried to prank him back, I got caught by my parents. They even grounded me once! I had to stay back and learn more with Sir Potamus. So far, Leonardo seemed to be the only one to successfully harass me without any consequences. Even back on Earth, I was the master of this! I was seriously lacking my skills. Not cool. Not cool at all. But to conclude this, Leonardo was a bitch. And I hated him. He was a super bitch. But you know what? Since he was already a bitch, it made the process easier for me to make him my bitch. That’s right, Leonardo. You better watch out. I’m going to make you my bitch. 

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SORRY THAT IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO UPDATE GUYS! BUT I DID NOW. PLUS, I'VE BEEN SO BUSY LATELY. ANYWAY: SOMETHING'S GOING TO HAPPEN LATER ON. YOU'LL SEE.

COMMENT IF YOU LIKE LEONARDO OR NOT? OR YOUR PREDICTIONS OF THE STORY. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE WITH CHERRY ON TOP? TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF ALICIA AND LEONARDO. I'M CURIOUS. AND VOTE!