Art (Mesut Ozil fanfiction)

I want a break

*SATURDAY MORNING*

Last night's fight was still on my mind. It was so sad.. I really wanted everything to be okay between me and Mesut.. I wore some simple clothes, grabbed my hair up on a high ponytail and walked out of my apartment. My destination was Mesut's flat. I knocked his door a couple of times. He didn't open immediately. I knocked again and again. No answer. Hmm.. maybe he was still sleeping. I started walking back at my place, until I heard footsteps. Someone was walking upstairs. I took a look and noticed that familiar face. "I thought you were sleeping.." I told to my neighbour as he was coming closer to his door. "No, I was shopping from the groceries store some stuff.. Umm.. did you want to see me?" Mesut told me. "Yes.. I.. would like to talk to you actually.." I confessed. "Sure, come in." he answered and unlocked his door. Both of us entered and he walked to the kitchen. "Please sit down, I'm coming in a minute!" he told me. I sat on grey sofa, next to some photography lights. Maybe he was shooting some stuff earlier. While I was still staring at the lights, Mesut walked to the living room. "So, what is it?" he asked and sat next to me. My eyes turned to his side. "I'd like to talk about what happened yesterday.. If you're feeling comfortable with it of course!" I told him. "Yes.. of course.." he said and stared down, at his hands. I could notice that he was feeling uncomfortable. I knew. No one talked for some time. No one dared to look at each others eyes. Until he did. Until he took a deep breath and looked at me. "I'm sorry. I apologize for acting like a little child.. I don't apologize to him, I apologize to you. I was just.. really angry about what he did, what he said.. He tries to break us up! Can't you see? There's nothing wrong with our relationship, we are just on the beginning. He's just being annoying!" He told me, getting angrier and angrier. "Relax.. Calm down.. I know what's going on.. I also get mad when he acts like that.. saying that's it's wrong, being with you.. But sometimes.." I admitted and then stopped, wondering if I should continue. "No! No stop right there! Just think about it.. Should we.. Break up? Is that what you imply since yesterday?" he asked confused. I made my mind. This time, I was totally sure that I should be honest with him. "Yes. I think that we should have a break and realize the truth. It's a bit early for us to date. And that's not what Todd says, that's what I say." I told him really serious. "If Todd didn't appear that day, non of this bullshit would happen.." Mesut murmured. "No.. Don't talk like that! I told you that it's not Todd, it's me.. I decide what I'm doing with my life." I explained. "But everything is so nice! Why would we have a break? That's not logical!" he said loudly. "It's just too early for me.." I said more calmly than him. He moved his hands to the back of my neck, touching me gently. Then he moved closer to my side and whispered "But we love each other!..". He got me the first time. He kissed me and I fell in love. But this time I had to act more serious, more mature. I moved his hands down and stood up. "I was outright. I'm not ready for a relationship.." I confessed and walked to his door. I was about to leave and he asked me to stop. "And what about now? What are we now? A couple on a break?" he asked irated. "Friends.. close friends.." I answered him, still looking a the door handle. "Don't leave then.. Stay with me.. Like close friends  as we are." he asked. "I.. can't." I replied. "Why? Are you meeting with that douchebag again, Todd? Is he now your first priority?" he wondered? "No! And stop talking about him like that! I know he is annoying but have some respect! At the end of the day, he did nothing! I took this decision!" I said intensely. "Tell me one thing then! If it wasn't him, would you ever think of breaking up with me? Would you?" he shouted and then he stood up, walking to my side. "Don't shout at me!" I demanded pointing at myself. "You never listen! I have to shout to you so you start thinking of what I say!" he yelled again. "YOU WANT THE TRUTH? THEN, NO! I WOULDN'T THINK ABOUT BREAKING UP WITH YOU! BUT HE MADE ME THINK MORE LOGICAL!" I confessed yelling. I was about to cry. I didn't want to go there with the purpose of yelling at him. "IT'S NOT LOGICAL DAMNIT! IT'S FUCKING NOT! CAN'T YOU SEE CLEARLY? HE TURNED YOU BLIND!" he yelled for once again. "Enough!" I shouted and then opened his door, walking to my apartment. I felt his hand touching mine and trying to pull me back at him. "Oh, come on now.." he said, trying to make me change my mind. I moved my hand away from him, escaping successfully. I walked quickly to my apartment and closed the door behind me with a lot of force. Enough drama for today.