Finding Sage (Young Adult)

Nineteen: Bombs

Sage

What? Kellan slept with that...whore? Maybe he's just saying that... Oh my god, please don't let that be true... I pick up my phone and call Gillian.

"Gillian, hi, how are you?" I ask her trying not to sound upset, but I feel like crying.

"Okay, how are you?"

"Umm, I just talked to Kellan and he sort of told me he's screwing Sloan. Is that true, did he sleep with her? We're you there? Please tell me if you know. I am hoping its not true and he's just trying to hurt me..."

Silence.

"Sage, you and Kellan are both my friends, I really don't want to get in the middle of things."

"He did sleep with her?" It's like I am having a nightmare. "Oh my God. I thought he was better than that! I though he was a good guy. That's what you and Roxy keep telling me, 'He's one on the good guys, Sage..." I feel my feet going numb and find a bench to sit on.

"He is Sage, but you ripped his heart out last night, and she...well, she's Sloan - Greek sex goddess. She seems like the kind of girl that gets what she wants and it was clear what she wanted. I'm sorry." Gillian sounds sincere. "He said you broke things off with him."

"I did, but I'm just... I need... I don't know."

"If it helps, I know she was not the one he wanted. If you had just asked him to wait for you, he would have. He's not really a one night stand kind of guy."

"I don't know if that's true. I went to see him at a show in Boston and I saw him with a girl. I saw him hug and kiss her. We had spent the morning together and I was going there to surprise him.  I just.  It just. It hurt really bad, and I'm going through so much. You know, Gillian?"

"Oh Sage. I am so sorry, and I promise you that I do know. I know exactly how you feel and I wish I could take away your pain. If I were you, I would ask Kellan about that girl. He's an honest guy, he really his. He won't lie to you about it," Gillian says.

I take a deep breath and start walking toward the furniture store where I hope to find a new table. "Thanks for listening Gillian. I don't mean to put you in the middle. I just needed to talk to someone that knows both he and I. I'll be okay. Please go back to enjoying your Sunday with Adam. We're getting close to wedding week, right?"

Gillian giggles, "Yeah, that sounds right. Thanks Sage. I hope you have a decent day too."

I asked for this. I did. I wanted to know what it was like to be alone. Now I am. I am all alone.

This was my decision and I need to own it.

I am an island, I say to myself, using the saying as a crutch to get through this next stage of my life. Pulling myself up by my proverbial bootstraps, I continue my search for new furniture.

Kellan

The first week after Sage dumped me, was probably the hardest. I did nothing but drink myself into a slumber and write really bad, bad, I mean horrible, songs. Francis gladly drank with me most nights and we spoke French until it drove poor Greg insane. I came home one night and Greg hid all the alcohol and threatened not to give us another drop until we learned to drink and speak in English.

The second week, I helped Greg and Francis out in the kitchen and ended up shagging Sloan, again. She asked me to be her friend with benefits. The offer shocked me at first, but then I decided that I might as well. It's been much better therapy than drinking myself into Hepatitis. She's hotter than hell and always very willing to please. Although, we really are just fuck buddies, we have been out a few times. The sex is good. However, it's not same...I have not been able to match the best night of my life.