Stolen Love

Note.

Hey Motichuuurs ❤️

How are you all? I hope you're doing well.

I am writing this here because no one really reads Wattpad conversation boards notice 🥀or Wattpad don't notify anymore.

I know many of you are disappointed, angry, frustrated, and honestly... I understand. Maybe I deserve some of that too. And for that, I'm truly sorry.

For the past two months, I've written thousands of notes trying to say goodbye to this journey. Every single time, I deleted them. A part of me just couldn't do it.

Today, I came back from my exam centre, trembling crying well that's all I am doing since last two month crying and begging infront of God , (and I'm only going to request one thing please don't ask me which exam or what happened.) I don't think I have the strength to talk about it right now.

What hurts the most is not the exams. It's not the pressure. It's not even the fear of failure.

It's the fact that writing the one thing that always felt like home, the one thing that made me happy even on my worst days suddenly stopped feeling reachable.

Every day for the last two months, I sat with a pen, a notebook, a blank document, hoping the words would come back.

They didn't.

And that terrified me.

I cried and only cried I hated myself

I was never scared of hard work. I was scared of losing the one thing that made me feel like myself.

I gathered courage many times to come here and tell you all what was happening. I even managed to post small things here and there. But somehow, I couldn't bring myself to write the one sentence that mattered:

"Hey, I'm a writer... and somehow, I can't write."

It felt like losing a part of myself.

Maybe that's why I disappeared.

Maybe that's why I couldn't face you all.

The truth is, I've cried more in these two months than I have in a very long time. Not because of one failure, but because I felt like I was slowly losing the only place that ever gave me peace.

And if you've ever wondered why I wasn't updating, it was never because I didn't care.

I cared too much.

I was scared of disappointing the very people who always believed in me.

Right now while posting this I am still so much scared... But how long will I run so,

So today, instead of making promises, I'm only asking for a little time.

The last ten days of this month.

That's all.

I don't know what will happen. I don't know if the words will come back tomorrow or ten days from now. But I want to try one last time before making any decisions.

And if nothing else, I just want you all to know this:

I never stopped loving these stories.

And I never stopped loving the people who gave them a home.

Thank you for every read, every vote, every comment, every message, every moment of patience.

Whatever happens next, I hope you remember me as someone who truly tried.

Also I am not opening Instagram nowadays I am not avoiding anyone anywhere I am just stuck in a loop that ends at endless hatred towards myself.

I love you all so much, please trust me I really do .

Bye for now, Motichuuurs ❤️

Please take care of yourself