Chapter 11: Bad Dream?

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"Thank you." I got out of the jeep, and closed it.

"You're welcome, goodnight." Justin said, he gave me a smile that made me return it back.

As I was walking back to my house I noticed how pretty the stars were, with the moonlight. I've seen in a few movies where the girl and guy lie under the stars, it was just so romantic.

I wish I had that, but I don't see that happening to me like, ever.

As I opened the door, I noticed the lights were off. So I assumed my mom was in bed. I would say that I haven't been talking to my mom lately, not because we're in a fight. But because she has work and then by the time I get home she's in bed.

I went up to my room, and turned on my Christmas lights dangling from my window, then got my pajamas on. At night I usually don't like to turn my light on so I turn on these lights.

I sat on my window sill with my galaxy blanket and black pillow. I took out my phone from my pocket, got my headphones from the floor then started listening to music. I put on my favourite songs, mostly sad slow ones. I closed my eyes taking in the lyrics and not just enjoying them, but understanding them. The time gradually went by to the point where I was curled up with the blanket to my chin. I woke up to my head on my window looking out to the stars, it was so beautiful I didn't care that my neck was in pain from being in that position for a few hours.

I noticed I was still listening to my music, when I went on my phone I was only on the "M's". I have a lot of songs, mostly sad ones because those are the only ones I like. They suit my feelings, and sad is my feeling all the time. I may smile but deep down inside I'm very depressed.

I took my headphones out of my ears and set them on to the floor beside my window. I was too lazy to get up and go to my bed, but my neck really started to hurt from the hard surface I was laying on. So I sleepily got up and took my throw blanket with me. Since my mom was washing my comforter I will just use my galaxy blanket.

I threw myself on the bed, and turned my phone off. After I got comfy, I just closed my eyes and before I knew it I was fast asleep.

Through the night I was tossing and turning. I woke up a few times, and then went back to sleep. I was trying to shake this terrible dream out of my mind, that I did not want there. As soon as I closed my eyes again, it was the last time before I woke up.

***************

I was laying in bed with Justin, his arms rubbing my leg. Something about being with him, made me feel so comfortable. I turned my body over on top of him. My eyes met his, those brown eyes looking at my lips. I knew we were going to kiss, I just knew it.

His lips touched mine and it felt like the best thing ever. When we were kissing, I felt his hand go down to my behind, not being a perv, but being romantic.

After we let our kiss go, I put my head on his chest. I felt his heart beat and I loved it. Justin started playing with my hair, after a bit he put his head on mine. And we fell asleep together.

**************

I opened my eyes to notice I wasn't in Justin's bedroom. It was just the same dream, again.

I was sweating a bit, not because it was hot, but because I didn't like that dream. Yeah, I've never felt like that before. But still, I do not like Justin.

I got up and went to my mirror, I looked at myself and noticed my cuts were almost to scars. I was proud of myself, for not doing it in a while. I hope it will stay that way, and I won't do it again. Even though when I cut, it takes away the pain I was feeling and puts it on my wounds, I still in the back of my mind not feel better 100%. It just always comes back.

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