Nothing Like Us (Justin Bieber Fan Fiction)

Chapter 14: Understand This

We went inside the house, shaking ourselves like a wet dog would. Justin turned to me, noticing I was shaking from the rain.

Justin immediately took my hand and went upstairs, I was trying to catch up with him as I caught the water from his hair in my eyes.

Justin opened the bathroom door and reached for a brown fuzzy towel. He wrapped it around my cold body, rubbing it on me.

"You okay now?" Justin said, walking me into his bedroom.

I shuffled my wet feet into the bedroom, hoping to get them dry so I wouldn't feel uncomfortable. "Yes, thank you."

I set the towel onto the bed and sat on it so my wet behind wouldn't get Justin's blanket wet. "So, could you tell me?"

"Oh. Right," Justin sat at his computer desk with the towel underneath, scratching the back of his head. It was cute when he did that.

"So, my father always would be there for me. He made sure I wasn't in danger. But one thing he did that didn't please me, was the way he chose what I had to like," i nodded and Justin sadly looked at me, but he went on.

"He was the one that put me in soccer, or hockey. I liked it a bit, but what I really wanted to do was play guitar and sing. He always told me that I would be a soccer or hockey player when I was older, that I had to go to this certain university if I didn't want to be an athlete. I thought he was giving me a choice of what I wanted to be in university but no. I had I had to be a doctor." He explained.

"Why couldn't you be what you wanted to be?" I asked, concerned. What I also wanted to know was what happened to his father.

"Because he always told me singing and instrument playing wouldn't get me anywhere in life, that if I wanted to be successful I had to be talented." Justin's eyes were sparkling, not because his eyes were naturally like that. But because he was tearing up. Instantly felt a soft spot in my heart for him.

"But, you are talented." I instantly reacted.

"Well, I guess not." Justin turned away, I could see the pain in his eyes. I just wish he knew I was there for him because I know what pain feels like.

I glanced at my wrist, moving my large brown leather bracelet Cassie made me when we were younger. I saw my cuts I made turning into scars very fast, soon I would probably make them deeper again.

"What are you doing?" Justin asked, looking at my wrist. It made me sick when someone could find out I did what I did sometimes.

I instantly shifted the bracelet back onto the scars. "Nothing just an itch."

Justin nodded and turned back. It took me a thought but I went over to put my hand on his shoulder.

"I know what it's like." I said.

"You do?" Justin immediately turned his head in satisfaction because there's someone that knows what it's like.

"Of course. My father is dead and he never gave a shit about me. Your dad did." I felt my eyes start to sting a bit in memory of my father, I just don't want to think about that.

"Why didn't he care about you?" Justin asked acting like I'm fragile at the moment I could break, like I always do.

"He used to, but then he just started to treat my mom and I like shit. He's an alcoholic." My mind went into shock after actually saying that, it's never came out of my mouth in front of somebody else. I regretted saying anything after that.

"I'm so sorry." Justin stared into my eyes, and it felt alright for once, that I wasn't afraid to stare too. Our eyes were just staring until I broke it to blink, and I felt a rear drip on my nose then it went to my lips.

I instantly wiped it off to show I'm not crying, I don't cry in front of people. But I really wanted to right now.

I blinked again and another went down my face. I went over the door and turned it halfway. "Yeah, me too."

I sniffed and walked out trying to get home so I could cry the pain away.

I felt Justin pulling on my hand as I was almost at the top of the stairs. He turned me around and as soon as he saw my face, I wanted to go home. He is seeing me cry.

Justin immediately put his arms around me and held me in the hallway. I didn't know how to react. I didn't want him to do that but at the same time I did. I slowly put my arms around his back as well and sobbed into his chest, it felt like my body fit into his like a puzzle piece.

"It's okay, my dad is dead too." I could hear his voice from his chest, and his heartbeat. My heart beat a bit faster when I heard what he said. His father is dead?

"I'm so sorry." I took my head off and looked up at his eyes. They were teared up too. I instantly felt horrible for doing this, for taking him there.

"It's okay, my mom is always here for me." Hearing him say that, made me miss my mom and how I don't tell her anything about me anymore. She has no idea I want to die.

Justin looked at my lips, and it reminds me of my dream. Is this happening?

I quickly thought if he did kiss me I would regret it, and feel even more feelings for him than I already do.

He was leaning closer, as I backed away. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." I wiped another tear and ran downstairs. My eyes couldn't see where I was going but I finally made it back to my house. I went in my room and slammed the door, hoping that my mom wouldn't hear and come in asking what's wrong.

My emotions are through the roofs and I'm scared. Scared that if I ever, ever fell in love with Justin I would be heart broken. And I don't know what to do.

I felt bad for running away but I needed to. I heard him calling my name, and I bet he regretted leaning as much I regret taking him to the theatre.

I suddenly heard my mom calling my name, I slowly went downstairs wiping as much tears as I could.

"I made you dinner, if you want some." She said at the bottom of the stairs.

"I'm not hungry." I replied, trying to not show her my face.

"Okay, I can wrap it up for y-"

"Thank you." I cut her off, running upstairs because I felt my eyes water again.

I closed my bedroom door and heard my phone go off. I opened the facebook app up and it said I had one nonification. I clicked on it and I couldn't believe what I saw.

"Miranda Wells is a filthy whore, she has a boyfriend who she is cheating on too! What a skank. I saw her at her corner today asking for money, nobody would give that girl money. She probably has an STD. HAHAHA:)"

My hands were shaking, my eyes were stinging. My heart ached and it felt like it was going to stop beating any second. I threw my phone on my window sill and ran to the bathroom. Why the fuck do I deserve this. My whole life has been fucked up. I feel happy for a bit and then somebody messes it up.

I opened the toilet seat and knelt down on the floor in front of it. I gagged a few times but finally my breakfast came up.

I felt so sick I brought up bile as well. I've never wanted to self-harm much more in my life.

I didn't hesitate on that thought. My eyes were set on that razor for a week, and I will do it.

'Deeper.'

'Bleed.'

'Kill yourself.'

I kept going back and forth gliding the blade on my wrist, I was so sad I couldn't feel the pain. So I did it even harder until blood covered my whole arm. I locked the bathroom door and thought this is it. My life will be over tonight. Nobody gives a fuck about me, so I will die tonight. I laid on the floor and looked up at the ceiling remembering my childhood, and Justin. His brown eyes were all I could think of and I suddenly got the feeling of regretting this. My eyes started to see black, and I closed them.

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Oh no:( how do you think Justin would react if he found out she was dead?

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