Whispers on a Wing

Chapter Thirty Five

"So, how did you guys find me?" I asked the two as Alice handed me a mug of peppermint tea.
We were now sitting back in Jake's house, his mum having already left for the day and Alice's home was to far from where I'd been taken.
The scattering of mess that had been left in the kitchen had drawn me up short. Only a few short hours ago I'd been planning to leave here and my mum had been alive. Had that really only been this morning? I felt like I'd aged a thousand years since that moment.
"I put a tracker in your shoe," Alice shrugged as she came and sat next to me.
"A tracker... what?" I asked, my eyes wide in disbelief. "Why the hell would you put a tracker in my shoe?"
"Because I know you Kaitl- Kathy," she smiled at me over the rim of her own tea. "You're a runner, so I wanted a way to make sure you were okay and safe."
"That's kind of weird," I told her. "But thank you." I was under no illusion that if she hadn't of done that they never would have found me and I would more than likely be dead right now. On the other hand my mum may of potentially survived, but I wasn't going down that rabbit hole.
"You're welcome," she grinned and took another sip, glancing over at Jake again from the corner of her eye. He'd been suspiciously quiet since we'd left the field, only answering when asked a direct question, and I had to admit it was making me fidget with nerves.
We stayed in silence for a second, each of us processing the events of this morning in our own times, but when the silence got to much for me I finally released a sigh and stood up from the bar stool.
"I should probably think about leaving soon, I'm not sure how long the cloud cover will last and I need it to-" but I didn't get a chance to finish.
"Leaving?" Jake piped up, finally looking away from his nearly full mug in front of him. "Why are you leaving? Leaving where?"
I stared at him for a second, shocked at the tone of his voice and the volume he'd used. He almost seemed angry, upset with the idea of me going.
"Well I can't exactly stay now can I?"
"Why not?" Alice asked, looking just as confused.
I stood there, my eyes flickering between the two as I waiting for them to get it, to understand why I had to get out of here, but when they both remained silent I released and breath.
"I can't stay here, not now I know my secret is out and my dad knows where I am, I'd forever feel like I was looking over my shoulder," I explained. "And you guys would never be safe, whoever is next to come after me will see how much you both mean to me and come after you to get to me. I could never put either of you in that position."
"You aren't putting us in any position we wouldn't want to be in," Jake said, pushing himself away from the counter so he too was standing, his height causing me to look up at him.
"Kathy we want you here, you have to know that," Alice said, sounding softer than Jake as she took my hand in hers and squeezed it. "There is nothing we wouldn't do to keep you safe."
"But that's the problem," I countered, looking over at her as I squeezed her hand. "I could never forgive myself if something happened to you, either of you, because someone found out about me and hurt you to get to me. It's too risky."
"Bullshit," Jake spat, his fists closed tight as he crossed his arms over his chest.
"Excuse me?" I stuttered, voice almost in disbelief as I turned fully to face him.
"You heard me, I call bullshit."
"Oh really? And how do you figure that?" I demanded, matching his stance as I square my shoulders, standing in front of him.
"You're leaving because you're scared."
"Well yeah, I literally just laid out multiple reasons why, were you not listening?" Was he going through shock or something? I wasn't sure what all the symptoms were exactly, but memory loss sounded like it could be one of them.
"No, you've always known people were after you, this is a different kind of fear."
"Oh yeah? And you suddenly know me so well you can read me like an open book." Our voices were getting louder, our emotions spiralling as the events of the day and the night before came flooding back to the surface.
"Yeah I do, you're scared of people knowing you, of getting close enough to know the real you and leaving you when things get tough. So you leave first, you validate it by saying that if you don't leave first they eventually will anyway and that scares the shit out of you. We've all got issues Kathy, but at least I don't hide from my feelings."
"Oh yeah?" I yelled, matching him as I took a step into her personal space. "Then how come you haven't been able to look me in the eye since the moment you found out about me? How come you haven't uttered one word to me since you got an up close view of my wings? Now you tell me how that isn't hiding from your feelings."
I was in his face, reaching on my tiptoes to get as close to him as possible so he could see the anger I had burning there. How dare he.
"Excuse me for taking a minute to try and process the fact that not only does my girlfriend have wings, but also the fact that one of my best friends was one of the ones trying to kill her. Not to mention the fact that I just watching him kill you mom and get taken off to god only knows where with your dad where some unknown court is going to 'decide what to do with him'. Don't you think I'm aloud a moment to myself to understand the fucking shit show of a morning I just witnessed?"
He was breathing hard, he's arms flailing around him as his emotions took over.
"Just because I'm not superhuman and able to process my emotions in a split second does not mean you get to stand there throwing accusations at me like how I cant even stand to look at you. I just need a second, just one second to wrap my head around all this, and if that's too much to ask..." he trailed off, the fire leaving his eyes as his shoulders slumped and his head lolled, looking at his feet.
He ran his hands through his hair and over his eyes, pressing into them for a second before looking back into mine.
"I'm all in, we are all in," he clarified. "Let us show you that you don't have to be scared of us. We aren't leaving you Kathy, trust me when I say that."
His voice was softer now, the anger and tension leaving his shoulders as he looked down at me almost pleadingly, enough to make my heart stutter.
"I-," but no words came out. I looked down at my feet, my boots sitting at the front door because of the amount of dirt and grass that had coated them from the last twenty four hours.
They had burned my house to the ground, kidnapped or killed Harper and kidnapped me in front of Jake, all in an attempt to kill me. It was clear my parents hadn't been working alone in their attempts to find me, my dad mentioning a court was proof enough that they had just been a small cog in some weird plan that I couldn't even comprehend. Was I really willing to put the lives of two people I love at risk for the sake of my own selfish reasons? No, I couldn't.
"I'm grateful for everything you have done for me, both of you," I said as I turned and included Alice in on the conversation. "But I cant stay here and endanger you because of my own selfish needs. Maybe in the future I could come back, when things have died down and whoever is after me has given up, but right now I need to stick to my original plan. Graduate, get a job and lie low."
"You're a coward," Jake spat, crossing his arms in a clear show of his disapproval.
"Maybe," I shrugged. "But at least it will keep you alive."
Jake scoffed and shook his head, the look in his eyes breaking my heart as he turned walked out the kitchen. "One day you're going to realise your own happiness is worth fighting for Kathy, I hope for your sake it's sooner rather than later."
And with that he walked out the kitchen and out the house. I heard his truck start up in the driveway but I remained frozen in place, unable to move.
I felt a loan tear slide down my cheeks as the noise of his engine grew fainter and fainter until he was finally out of hearing range.
"He's right you know," Alice said on a whisper. "I know you have your reasons to leave, they may even be valid reasons, but surviving and living are two very different things K. For the past five years your parents have taken so much from you, so many things that normal people take for granted, don't allow them to take even more from you. Live K. For once allow yourself to live a life you want to live, not one that was forced upon you because of something you had no control over."
"But Alice I-"
"I know," she interrupted me, holding her hand up to stop me talking. "But we were also there when your dad told you that others would like to claim your death for themselves, that you should trust us to watch over you. Don't forget that the main threat, the reason you'd been running for all these years, is no longer a threat to you."
I didn't know what to say, didn't understand the emotions as they spiralled around my mind in one confusing kaleidoscope of colours. Anger and sadness, loss and grief, confusion and hopelessness, it all felt to much.
"Alice I can't..." I shook my head, another tear sliding down my cheek as I watched the last of Alice's hope die from her eyes.
She nodded and took a step away from me. "I'll always be here K, whenever you're ready to come back."
I nodded and roughly wiped my cheeks with the back of my hands. "I'll keep in touch," I reassured her. "I promise."
"You better," she grinned a sad smile as she reached out and pulled me into a tight hug, my face buried in her hair as I took in her coconut and floral scent for the last time in who knew how long.
"Take care of yourself," she whispered before releasing me. With one last look she turned and left for the front door, bow and arrows in tow.
I stood in Jake's kitchen, alone, for the first time since what felt like forever. So much had happened in the last twenty four hours I couldn't even figure out where to start. The grief and the loss that hit me as I thought about everything I'd lost was almost unthinkable. Had it really been only yesterday I'd been at school and laughing with Jake about going to a party?
I ran my hands through my hair and gripped the roots tight, hoping the bite of pain would ground me in some way and bring me out of emotions. I needed to think logically right now, rationally.
With a final sigh and a breaking heart I turned to leave out the kitchen door but froze before I passed the threshold. If I left like this any neighbours Jake had could look out and see me like this, I needed something to cover my wings until I could walk into the cover of the trees.
I looked back at the kitchen, debating my options. Could I really? It would mean I'd have a piece of him with me, even if that was something he didn't want right now.
I debated it for a further few seconds before breaking and making my way back through the house and up the stairs towards Jake's bedroom.
I closed the door with a soft click behind me and breathed in the comforting scent of the room. Even if he wasn't here Jake was everywhere, in the clothes scattered around the floor. In the video game, off but not put away, and I couldn't help but think about the time he's taught me how to play.
It had been an obvious plan to get close to me, to get me to stay and spend more time with him, and I couldn't help but smile and flush as I thought about how the night had ended. How he'd pushed me up against his bedroom door and kissed me for the first time.
It was like he'd known I'd been nervous. He'd taken control, but not without giving me complete reassurance that he'd stop in a heartbeat if that was what I wanted. He was so amazing to me, putting up with all my mood swings and all my weirdness, without pushing me to do anything I hadn't wanted to do.
I sighed for what felt like the hundredth time, needing the fresh air in my lungs to remind myself that I was still breathing.
I could dwell about everything later, first I needed to get out of here before Jake got back. If he saw me here there was no doubt in my mind he'd try and convince me to stay again, and I wasn't fully convinced in myself that I had it in him to refuse him a second time.
With a final look around the room I walked over to his wardrobe and pulled out the biggest hoodie I could find, slipping it over my head as the scent of him engulfed me. At least this was I could take a piece of him with me.
I turned to walk back to his bedroom door, but just as my fingers touched the handle I heard the front door open with a bang.