Online

Her Past

A soft tune echoed throughout the room as the rays of the Sun, fell on the face of a sleeping girl.

By the looks on her face, it was evident she wasn't having a peaceful dream. She was tossing and turning and kept saying "please leave me.." To whom? Only she knows.

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A dream...it is a dream.... no its a Nightmare. Yes. A nightmare. How to get out of it?

Unlike other nightmares, this isn't the one from which I can easily flee from. I have to endure it everyday. For 6 hours continuously. Since morning, till afternoon.

U must be wondering what is it? Well, just a simple 6 lettered word. SCHOOL - The place which mostly considered as heaven.

Yeah, school is my nightmare. Reason? Loads. One of them being, having No True Friends.

Every minute feels like as if I'm being pierced by thousands of pins. How would u feel, if u were forbidden to tell the truth? If according to ur 'so called' friends, saying lies, is equivalent to telling the truth?

Well that's my life. Insignificant. Useless. I find no enthusiasm in school. I wonder what it would feel like, if my life was like other students, other normal people.

I shouldn't even consider myself to be normal. So..then what am I?? Yeh, inconsiderate, emotionless, heartless, cold.

Thats how my friends in school label me as. Why? Coz I'm sometimes, a bit too free about what I feel. And that "hurts their emotions".

When I was in junior school, I was betrayed by my closest friends. When I went into secondary school, everything was new...new friends, new class, new subjects. And in that new environment, the ones with whom I tied the bonds of friendship, humiliated me, mentally tortured me, bullied me, called me 'a brainwasher'. All I did, those days, was cry and cry day and night. But then I decided to put an end to it.

I realised, that they found pleasure in making me cry. They found it amusing to look at my tear-strained face, those red puffy eyes. To play with my soft, innocent and sensitive core, was their game.

I found that, if I always smile and never cry, despite their various attempts, it would lead to them accepting their failure.

So that's when it all started. The facade. I changed my attitude. From that cry-baby to the one who never cries in school.

I'm nearly always smiling. Its fake. I smile even when I'm hurt, even when I'm silently crying, even when I want to rip everyone into pieces. Sometimes I am cold towards my friends, no doubt, but that's when I cannot control myself anymore.

Imagine how it feels when you see that your bestfriend is more close to the one sitting beside you; is always hugging and sharing her secrets with that girl, but when you are reaching out to hold her hand, shes moving away from you. Please try and imagine.

But in the end, what am I? Who am I? How do I continue my life this way? It's impossible to live like this... so I reverted to the life which is chosen by many (specially the ones who suffer like me) ➡➡➡➡➡➡➡ Online Life.

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The girl stirred, and her eyelids fluttered open, revealing lifeless eyes. From under the covers, her hand dashed out to the alarm clock, and stopped the tune. Beside the small device, lay her glasses. She picked it up, and wore it on.

She sat up, stretched, picked up her mobile, from the bedside table and logged into her online account. Her lifeless eyes brightened up and became lively when she saw 335 notifications.

Her fav person had texted her "Ohayo Kayano-san". A genuine smile playing on her lips, she sent a reply "Goodmorning Nagisa-kun".

She saw that a friend had added her to a new group.........
She opened it and typed, "Hello everyone! I'm Shikaki. Nice to meet u all!! ^^"

Thanks a lot to Nagisa for inspiring me to write about this topic.