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Realization

Music...Someone's playing music..a song...but how come I can hear it so clearly...who started the music system in my room?

I slowly woke up..and cringed at the loud music blaring in my ears. I removed the headphones and carefully placed it on the table beside my bed. Huh? How come I slept off with my headphones on...? Surprising. I had even forgotten to switch off the lights.

'I wonder what time is it...the sun isn't even up yet. Its still dark outside'. I looked at the clock, and was shocked that it was 4:00 am.

I quickly got up from the bed, and switched off the lights. Crept into the bed, and under the blanket. Silence hung around me. The atmosphere was tense.

Suddenly it felt as if something was choking me. I couldn't breathe. It was starting to feel hot and stuffy all of a sudden..but the AC was on.. I let out a small squeak as all memories of 2 hours ago came back to me, in the midst of darkness.

I buried my face in the pillow and cried out. No one was gonna hear me. None. No one cared about me. So why bother and cry over split milk? What was supposed to happen, had happened. Nothing could change it. Not even crying.

But I still couldn't help it. It was just too sudden and as it sudden, it hurt a lot. My exams were coming up, so I had little time to think about the decision. Plus, it would be a waste of time, I knew it.

Whatever I said, would have negative results at the end of the experiment.
•If I chose: We'll remain what we are now, as a couple.
Then at the end, if something happened to either of our studies or career (like we didn't get what we expected) then...all blame would be directed to me.

•If I chose: We'll be friends now & we'll continue or relationship later when we've achieved our goals.
I'm sure that by the time we r accomplished (i.e. about 10 yrs from now), our feelings won't remain the same. Coz, by that time we'll be more matured and our thinking capacity would change.

I realised, my world (my life) had changed with a simple 4 worded sentence. And it wouldn't be the same again.

As these thoughts continued to rule over my emotions, I shuddered and let a few more tears fall down my cheeks onto the wet pillow underneath.

Something clicked in my mind, I quickly wiped my tears and picked up the pillow from the bedside table. I logged into my account, and sent a quick text to my closest online friend.

"Nagisa-kun...I have something serious to tell u. And it's about HIM."

I had got one of the greatest realizations of my life.

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