Prodigious Abyss (I love you , best friend)

chapter nine

Emma (lina)'s POV

I felt my heart aching , clenching ..
It was the same feeling i had when i first got the news of my sister's death .
i felt terribly sad and heart broken .

When i first lost my sister and later on left my family , i've been having serious nerve breakdowns , it was getting more stressfull with staying home with my family but they got even worse once i left the house and came here .

I had nightmares , breakdows , anxiety attacks .. sometimes i couldnt even breathe .
But later on , daniel helped me .
He helped me control those emotions and control my anxieties and behavior .
He signed me in to see a doctor and it helped a bit , and i haven't had any since that period .

But now here i am , loosing my mind , loosing control ..
Not knowing what to do , not even knowing how to breathe properly or calm down .

Daniel has never snapped at me like that . Was i wrong ?
Have i really over reacted over just a kiss ?

I'm loosing my mind going through every single possibility of why he might be angry of my reaction towards the situation .

He said he will never kiss me ever again if thats whats causing the state im in .. but is that something i want ?

I couldn't ignore the pressure in my chest or fight the tears from falling freely .. i just had to let it go , to do something that will make me feel better , maybe .. reduce the pressure .
Daniel always said that there is much healthier ways to do so .. but right now i couldnt think of any , the only thing i was able to do is break the shit out of my room .

My cut is long forgotten , and it wasn't a small cut either , it was huge , like deep , starting from the half of my thumb and going down to my forearm .
I was bleeding heavily , i think i need stitches from this .
But i seriously don't give a damn right now . The emotional pain is way too stronger than the pain caused by the this cut , its not even bothering me right now .. not even the blood stains all over my room , in fact they add quite a color to the scene .

I ignored his calls , his pleads , i just wanted to be alone ..
He is all i have and he doesnt even understand how scared i am of loosing him .
He is all i have and he didnt even think twice when he snapped at me like that .
It hurts like hell , what the fuck is happening to us ..?

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Daniel's POV

I have been calling her name and pleading her to come out or even talk to me for the past couple of hours .
I sat down resting my back on her door listening to her sobs and hiccups .

"Lina , please talk to me , you can't ignore me for the rest of your life "

" yes i can " she yelled .

" are you okay ? "

" and why do you care ? " she replied with a lower voice .

" you know i do "

She didn't reply back .

" why did you do that Lina ? "

" do what ? "

" i told you there are million ways to let your anger out whenever u need to "

" yeah and they are all ways with you ; talk to you , or hug you , or cry on your shoulder .. but i don't want anything that has to do with you danny ! " she snapped .

" Ouch .. " i said genuinly hurt .

" yeah , well now you know how it feels "

" i'm sorry " i said , an she didnt reply , so i continued ..
" i'm just going to let it all out lina , im not going to hide my feelings and i wont lie to you .. cause the best thing about this ... us , is the honesty between us no matter how much things get fucked up .
That kiss started as saving your ass but it lead me to wanting more of it.
I tried to fight back the feelings of wanting more with you but i couldnt .. my father and cousin got to me , their words felt true .. however i know how you are feeling cause i am feeling the same.
I wont try anything with you , i promise i will fight those feelings and rebuild our friendship and forget all the shit we just been through , our relationship will be platonic i promise i wont try anything on you and i wont push you to feel the way i did .
Im sorry lina , i know how this friendship is important to you and i wont take that away from you .
I love you best friend , forgive me for my misplaced feelings , i am sorry . "

She opened the door suddenly and i fell on the ground , she looked down at me , a faint smile on her lips , her fresh tears falling down on my cheeks , she leaned down and placed her warm soft lips on mine for a brief moment and kissed me tenderly and pulled away leaving me still in the process of what just happened , she pulled away making me follow her lips and lean forward wanting more .

" that was a kiss to seal off once and for all , All of this . Im sorry too daniel , i love you " she said sweetly as she wipped her tears off her eyes .

Her hand caught my attention , red and bloody as hell .

" Dear god Lina ! " i freaked out and took her arm examining it .
" i have to take you to the hospital "
" yeah thats a good idea " she giggled and cound not help but smile at her sillyness .

'Well , at least she is not in pain " i thought to myself .

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HI !
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Thank you for reading .
-nesrine-