Will it be forever?

Chapter 5: Guilt

Hiccup's POV

Astrid, Astrid, Astrid.

It came to no one's surprise that she was the only thing running through my head, day in and day out. Ever since the accident, nothing had been the way it used to be. The gang wasn't whole without her, we didn't race or train anymore as no one could bear the thought of doing any of those group activities without her.

"Hiccup?" Her voice rang through my head like an angelic choir as I stared mindlessly up into the ceiling.

"Yeah?"

The memory became so clear it was like Astrid was laying right beside me, just like she had that night at the cove, when we had been watching the stars, just happy to be together.

Astrid's head turned towards me as her ocean blue eyes sparkled in the pale moonlight, which made my knees go weak, as always. "What do you think it'll be like?"

I remembered tearing my gaze away from hers as my eyes wandered up to the starry night sky. "What do you mean?"

"Our future, you muttonhead" She smiled as she laced her fingers in mine. I turned back towards those mesmerizing eyes of hers with a shrug.

I placed my free hand on the side of her face, braiding it into her hair as a smile tugged at the corners of my lips. "I have no clue, but I suppose that I'm hoping for a wedding, a loving wife and who knows, maybe a couple of kids or ten"

Astrid socked me in the arm before letting out a small laugh. "Yeah, there's no way I'm going to pop out ten kids, sorry babe"

I grinned from ear to ear at her as I rubbed my aching arm. "And I who have been looking forward to seeing dozens of mini-uses running around the house, how could you just shatter my dreams like that?"

Astrid shook her head slowly, chuckling as she placed her hands on either sides of my face. "Muttonhead"

And then she had kissed me with such passion I feared we would have to speed up our wedding plans, but we eventually ended up snuggled up against one another, just enjoying the other person being near.

That was one of the nights I would never forget, and although the memory made me chuckle, it also made me think about the way my life was going at that rate.

I eventually rolled out of bed, forcing myself to get some fresh air. As I walked down the stairs, I couldn't help but notice how empty the house was, but then I had remembered that Toothless had left earlier in the morning after he realized I wasn't going anywhere that day.

I opened the front door and was met by the chilly weather that often blew past the island. I took a deep breath before slumping down on one of the stone steps outside my house, just watching all the people roaming around town.

Many people were out and about this time of day, some were working whilst others were headed to the Meade Hall for a drink, some were shopping for fresh produce whilst others were busy chasing after their rambunctious children.

But what brought my mood down another notch were the young couples that strolled around town, fingers laced together as they leaned onto each other and laughed at each other's comments. I felt my heart constrict as I thought about my other half, laying lifelessly on a stone pedestal in the middle of a dark and humid cave.

I buried my head in my hands, gently tugging at my hair as I tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill. "It should have been me"

The sound of footsteps approaching me snapped me out of my state and back into Chief mode. It wasn't good for the villagers to see their supposedly strong and mighty Chief sulking around all day like some heartbroken teenager.

I glanced up, blinking away the tears in the corners of my eyes as I was met by the sight of a slim, tall and might I add, not too bad looking young blonde walking up to me, with a smile that could brighten up the darkest of days.

"Chief Hiccup, how are you?" The now twenty year old Rebekah asked me as she plopped down beside me, her warm, bark-brown eyes filled with concern.

"I'm good, thank you Rebekah" I replied automatically, not a single emotion in my voice as I continued staring straight ahead of me.

"You don't seem like you're too good, Hiccup" She flashed me a small smile as she flipped her long, blonde braid over her shoulder.

My gaze slowly travelled over to her, and as I met her eyes, I could have sworn I saw Astrid flash past them for a second.

I furrowed my brows as studied the young woman ahead of me carefully, and the longer I looked at her, the more she looked like Astrid to me.

"Is something wrong?" She knitted her brows together, in the exact same way that Astrid used to do it as she placed her hand on my shoulder.

Then I did something I ended up instantly regretting. Without thinking, I pressed my lips against hers, pulling her into a hungry and desperate kiss which she surprisingly ended up not pulling away from.

I braided my fingers into her hair, pulling her closer as I deepened the kiss, and that's when it hit me what I was doing. I blinked rapidly as I pulled away faster than you can say 'regret' and processed what I had done.

"Oh my Thor, I'm so sorry Rebekah, that was very inappropriate of me" I panted, as I rubbed my forehead, guilt soaring through my entire body.

"Hm?" The young girl seemed to be in a daze. "What? No no, I didn't mind it, at all actually"

"I'm terribly sorry" I apologized as I shot up and rushed towards my door.

"Hiccup, no! Please, I swear, I'll be there for you no matter what!" Rebekah pleaded as she attempted to follow me inside. But I ignored her, shutting the door in her face as I slid down it, guilt ripping through my entire being as thoughts of Astrid filled my head.

I held my head in my hands as tears rolled down my cheeks. "I'm so sorry, Astrid"