The Opportunity of a Lifetime

Chapter 54 (Joe's POV)

"Uncle Joe, that's not fair!"

"Its totally fair." I laugh, taking another pepperoni off of Gracie's pizza. Somehow, during last night's pizza party, Pete konked out and didn't eat all of it. That means there's more for us, at least until Pete wakes up and kills all of us for eating his pizza.

"Save me some!" she whines again, and I narrow my eyes at her as I take another one. She slaps me with her tiny hands, and I pretend that it hurt really bad.

"Ow! Man down, man down!"

I fall off the chair I was sitting in like I got shot, twitching uncontrollably.

"That's what you get for taking my pepperonis!" Gracie shouts, leaping off her chair and heading straight for me. My eyes widen, bracing for the impact. She lands square on my stomach, and I let out a puff of breath. That did hurt.

"Gracie," I choke, "get... off... can't... breathe..."

"Nope." She giggles, batting her eyes at me innocently. She may be six years old, but there's more sass in that little body than there is in Patrick. It would make sense if he was her father.

Speaking of the sass princess, Patrick walks in and stops in his tracks, watching me struggle relentlessly, trying to get Gracie off of me. Failing, if you were wondering.

He just chuckles and walks to the refrigerator, grabbing a water bottle. I scoff unbelievably.

"You aren't going to help me?" I ask dramatically.

"If you can't get a six year old off of you, you need more help than I can give, man." He just snickers again and walks out. Dick.

Finally, I manage to get her off of me, and I sprint away, giggling like a jackass and locking myself in the bathroom. She shall never get me now.

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*Pete's POV*

I open my eyes with an idea in my head. I look over at the bunk next to me to see Patrick still asleep. Oh well, you can sleep when you're dead.

"Patrick," I murmur. He doesn't budge.

"Patrick," I say louder. He just groans. I smirk and crawl out of my bunk, ready to mess with him.

I crouch next to him and clear my throat, preparing myself to mock Hailey's voice.

"Patrick, baby, I need you," I say in a higher pitched sexy voice, and he stirs in his sleep, trembling slightly. I have to slap my hand over my mouth to keep myself from laughing. I glance around me. Luckily, everyone else is in another room and can't hear me making a fool out of myself.

"Baby, please, I want you, right now," I repeat, and Patrick literally moans, the muscles in his legs tightening. Our little Patty gets turned on quite easily. I suddenly remember his kinky little fetish.

He's going to kill me when he wakes up.

"Daddy," I moan, and Patrick's hips buck up, jerking him awake. I burst out laughing, falling backwards on the floor.

He's breathing heavily, looking around confusedly. When he sees me he turns bright red, then glares at me.

"Care to explain this?" He points down to his crotch, where there is most definitely a boner. I look back up at him, and the expression on his face is one I have never seen.

"Dude, I was just messing with you. I wanted a creative way to wake you up so I was pretending to be Hailey."

"Well, how am I going to hide this?"

I give him the sexiest look I can muster, and with great effort I say without laughing, "I think I can help you with that."

His eyes pop out of his head, becoming red from his forehead to his neck. I snort so loud, and he jumps out of his bunk and slaps me pretty hard.

"Ow!"

"That's not cool, man." He frowns at me.

"I was just kidding, I'm not that perverted." He just raises his eyebrow.

"Um, can you please sit or something because your dick is right in my face."

He just laughs and steps off of me, grabbing a big pair of sweats and walking to the bathroom. He swings the door open... except the door doesn't open. Patrick's face smacks into the closed door and he cusses under his breath. I snort.

"Hey, who's in there?" He calls.

"Joseph Trohman, at your service."

"Can you hurry up? I have a... problem I need to take care of."

"Sorry, but I'm not coming out."

"What do you mean you're not coming out?" Patrick asks impatiently.

"The mini female version of you is after me for eating some of her pizza. I've been in here for an hour."

Patrick just laughs, but my face scrunches up in anger.

"JOSEPH, DID YOU EAT MY PIZZA?" I scream.

"Um... no?" he calls.

I stomp over to the bathroom door, bringing my foot up and kicking the door open. Patrick's eyes widen.

"There you go, Patrick," I growl and stalk off.

"Hey, you blew my protection- whoa, Patrick, um... how...?"

"Don't even ask," I hear Patrick say as he closes the bathroom door. That brightens my mood a little bit as I head back to my bunk and wait for Patrick to come out so I can run my plan by him.

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"So, the fair?" Patrick asks, both of us sitting next to each other in my bunk as I explain my idea for another date with Cheryl.

"Yeah... Its not lame, is it?"

"No, no, I think it's cute. She'll like it." He smiles at me.

"Am I supposed to dress nice?"

"Pete, its the fair. Just wear a t-shirt and jeans or something."

"I'm sorry, I'm clueless about love." I cross my arms and lean back, and he does the same.

"So, why are you asking another clueless romantic for advice?"

"Dude, you're my best friend. I'll come to you for anything. Even if I get my dick stuck in the couch or something. Trust me, it will happen one day."

"That is something I definitely needed to know." He crinkles his nose.

"Well, yeah, best friends tell each other everything," I say in a "duh" voice.

"Not everything." He smirks at me and stands up.

"Wait, what does that mean?"

"I don't knowwwww." He starts to walk out, but I jump out and chase after him.

"Tell meeee."

"Nopeeeee. You know enough about me to write a book as it is."

"Come on, one more fact can't hurt," I beg. He turns around abruptly, and I almost smack into him.

"Fine. The song "Porcelain" from my EP is about you." Then he turns around and walks out.

Wait, what?