Rhi wasn't really interested in the seminar she was sat in. Her hands wandered to the book in front of her and she flicked through the Shakespeare play mindlessly. Jean caught her eye from across the table and smiled at her bored expression. Rhi always found it hard to concentrate when she was being talked at.
It had been the same in high school. Ash had to touch her hand a few times when she started to drift on in advanced classes. She always found it difficult to concentrate on work that she found hard. She remembered how he'd passed her notes with the answers and touched her thigh.
His hot breath on her neck as he spoke in her ear and made her giggle. Somehow, his hands would always find their way to her hair and he'd play with it as the class watched a film. Other times he'd take out cards and they'd add to their every growing list of how many games each of them had won. Ash had always been competitive and he'd stare at her when he lost.
Rhi remembered the eyes. His dark eyes were perfect and soul searching. She couldn't look away from them at times. When she was hurting, he would watch her with his piercing eyes and hold her until she wanted to talk. His eyes were more than just eyes to her. They were how she looked into his soul, and they made her feel safe and protected.
She stared at the words in front of her and sighed before closing her book. The tutor looked up to see her pulling on her jacket but didn't say a word. She quietly closed the seminar door and stood in the hallway to gather her thoughts. Her life couldn't go on like this and she had to find something to occupy her mind. At fresher's she'd met a lovely dancer who'd told her to join the dance society, but she glanced at her and smiled whilst saying no. Now, she was really regretting that decision.
It was nearing lunchtime and Rhi glanced at her watch. She had 3 hours until her next seminar; she could eat lunch then do some reading at the library in that time. Her hands shoved the closed book into her bag and she pulled out her phone. No texts and no missed calls. When Ash and her were going out they would text every hour. He wanted to know what she was doing and she wanted to hear about his sports games. Rhi was coming to find that her life in London was very different.
Her body would not accept the cold weather and she'd invested in an electric blanket. Friends and flatmates had laughed when she walked in carrying her big box, but she didn't care. The blanket kept her warm at night and reminded her of nights in America. It was warm at night for most of the year and she'd throw off the covers.
Ash would have pulled her close to him even though their bodies were scorching hot. He'd wrap his legs around hers and stroke the back of her neck. She used to feel safe in his arms as he pulled her close and whispered sweet nothings in her ear. The window would blow a slight breeze into the room as the clung to each other. Her lungs would fill with his breath and her nose would inhale his scent. Even when Ash wasn't with her, his smell would stick to her and every day he was metaphorically with her and holding on to her skin.
She wrapped the scarf around her neck and huffed as she rubbed her hands together for warm. Goosebumps rose up her body as she felt the air grow colder and a drop of water touched her nose. Rhi cursed the sky and ran to the nearest café. Luckily, she found her usual coffee shop and perched near the window. The boy behind the counter noticed her and started to prepare her order. She watched as the raindrops hit the window and the street.
The umbrellas on the pavement ceremoniously opened together and welcomed the water that fell from the sky. Rhi had to say that the rain was rather refreshing compared to America, but she was quite sick of the weather already. She wanted to go back to America and get a tan. She was in desperate need of sun.
"It never stops raining at this time of year" The boy dropped the coffee and sandwich on the table. She motioned for him to sit and he hesitated before sitting opposite her.
"Jason, right?" Rhi looked at his nametag because she had forgotten but the boy sat up and smoothed the creases in his clothes. He looked unbelievably proud that someone called him by his name. She took a swig of the hot coffee and sighed as it melted down her throat.
"Yeah, I go to the same university as you" Rhi had to control her eyes which were about to pop out of her head and tried to think how he knew her. Her mind flicked through all the ways her could have met her and she just couldn't think of how. A drop in her gut reminded her it could have been fresher's, yet she tried to not relieve those memories. The nights had been particularly blurry, messy and rather embarrassing for her.
"Oh yeah, I think I've seen you around. What do you study?" He stared at her and smiled before picking himself off the chair. She wondered whether she'd said something wrong or he just had work to do.
"English... I'm in 3 of your seminars" She opened and then shut her mouth. He said goodbye and walked back behind the counter. Rhi watched the rain for a moment and sighed. It was harder to make friends than she thought.
She hated the weather and she hated how hard it was to fit in. She always managed to make a mistake and now she couldn't come back to her favourite coffee shop.
Great.
YOU ARE READING
Lost Desires.
Teen Fiction*Sequel to My Brothers Best Friend, read that in 'My Works' first* London is scary and very different to Rhi. The culture is different, the people are different and the food is definitely different. She hopes she has left all her problems in America...
