Lost Desires.

Part 9 - The Meet

It had been arranged. Ash would meet Rhi at the park at 10am. Luckily, the weather had managed to stay dry. It wasn't particularly warm but not really cold.

Rhi pulled on a top with a long skirt before pulling her hair into a ponytail. She looked at herself in the mirror and wondered what the hell she was doing.

She was still confused why Ash was here. She wondered what exactly he would want from her.

As she pulled the window shut, she tried to gather her thoughts and imagine the scenarios in her head.

If he asked her back, she would say no. If he wanted her forgiveness, she would consider it. However, she would never forget what he did and how it made her feel. She couldn't.

Rhi found out that Ash had been seeing Katie at the same time he was seeing her. It had been going on for years. They had been on and off but no one had known. 

She felt stupid that she had never realised. That she had believed his lies that she was the only one for him and everything was perfect.

The door clicked shut behind her as she left the flat and started towards the park. 

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British weather... unpredictable and always an inconvenience. She hadn't brought an umbrella and she hovered under the cover of a bakery as she watched the park.

Ash hadn't texted her this morning and she wondered if he was going to turn up. She believed he might have reconsidered and gone back home. Back to his life, elsewhere. And away from her.

Parents dragged their small children along the pavement as they jumped in the puddles and laughed. She had once seen a future for her and Ash that involved children. He always had this great way with children and she just knew he would be a good dad.

She wrung her hands as the clock struck 10 and her nerves started to creep in. How long had it been since they had a proper conversation? Not a heated exchange where she wanted to rip his head off. She continued to watch the park in front of her for any sign of him.

As she started to lose hope, she saw a figure in the distance. She had forgotten how tall he was and how well he dressed. The black jumper fit snuggly to his muscles and he wore loose suit trousers on the bottom. He strode towards her with his umbrella and then looked up at her.

Their eyes locked and Rhi had to pull herself away before she became lost in his. She tried to focus but he looked so attractive. She finally could get a good look at him as she wasn't overcome with complete anger. He had cut his hair shorter and he was growing a trimmed beard. He looked like a man and not a boy. 

Ash stopped in front of her and smiled. 

'Hi Rhi". She couldn't help but look into his piercing eyes and he just smelled so good.

"Hey... I won't shout this time" Rhi sheepishly smiled and Ash smiled back.

"We should get out of the rain... I don't know about the British but I can't stand the rain" He laughed as he took down his umbrella and motioned towards the door. Rhi headed into the warm bakery and looked for a table. 

The place was crammed but she knew there was a quiet area upstairs and a few corners for them to hide in. They stopped at the counter for Rhi to buy the coffees and Ash insisted on buying the cakes. He bought 5 pieces of cake... Rhi thought that was a lot but didn't object. She noticed this  multitude of notes in his wallet and cards. He didn't have so much when they were together.

Rhi headed towards the stairs with Ash in tow. She felt hot and clammy. Butterflies swam in her stomach. She realised that she felt nervous.

They found a table in a far corner and Ash held out Rhi's chair for her. He had changed, a lot. The chair loudly scraped onto the floor as she pulled herself towards the table. Ash shook his hair slightly and she watched the droplets fall off. He tucked his umbrella next to him and sat back in his chair. Even his demeanour seemed... older... more refined... polished. 

He folded his hands over his chest and Rhi picked at the carrot cake in front of her. She could feel his stare on her as she licked the frosting from the fork. They sat in silence for a minute before Ash cleared his throat.

"How have you been? You look good but you smell of smoke" Shit. Rhi hoped he hadn't noticed. She'd sprayed gallons of Victoria's Secret on herself. She'd even considered pouring the bottle on herself but resisted. 

"... My flat mate smokes a lot... really bad habit" Rhi considered if Ash would believe her but she'd never been good at lying.

"Brook told me Rhi, don't lie to me" Ash continued to stare at her as she shuffled in her seat. This was not going well.

"Ash, what did you come here to say to me? If you're here to declare your love to me, I don't care" She could see the hurt in his eyes but he quickly composed himself.

"Luckily for you, you won't have to listen to my declaration. Rhi, I've changed my life and I didn't want to leave any stone unturned. I decided to start a business and to invest. I was sick of not doing much with my life and leaving it all up to chance. I'm doing well, Rhi and I wanted to come here to apologise. I don't want your forgiveness but I want you to know that I've changed".

That was why he smelled and looked so different. He was a businessman now. Far from what she had expected Ash to do. He had made it in such a short amount of time. He'd grown up and he'd shown the World what he was capable of. The bakery felt hotter to Rhi as she wiped forehead and looked back at him. 

Rhi felt so proud of him but at the same time, she was hurt that he didn't tell her how much he loved her. She was sure he was pleading for her back... she was sure of it. And there he was, telling her how great his life was whilst hers was, quite frankly, terrible right now. 

"I'm happy for you, Ash, but I don't want your apology. I'm so confused why I even came here. I thought it would be different". She didn't quite understand the words that came out of her mouth and why she was saying them.

Ash looked at her with disappointment before finishing his coffee. He picked up his umbrella and pushed his chair back. 

"This was brief, Rhi. I have to go. I have a meeting across town and I think I'd like to walk to clear my head. Quit smoking will you? Those things will kill you" He didn't even say goodbye as he began towards the stairs. Rhi watched him go as tears started to form in her eyes.

What was she doing? Why had she been like that? She sat for a few seconds and considered her options. He could be outside the bakery already and walking away. She glanced out of the window and realise he had not yet left. For some reason, she pushed her chair back and dashed towards the stairs.

Rhi almost fell down them as she hurried to catch up with him. We only get once chance in life and this was hers. She couldn't afford to lose him. He was here one and he was everything she imagined. He was her rock and her air. He was the reason she woke up every morning despite the hate she felt.

It was all because she knew that somewhere, in the same Universe as her, he was alive.

She ran through the bakery, apologising to those she nudged and fell into as she tried to catch up with him. He was walking away now and she pushed the door of the bakery open to see she could still get to him. 

Cars honked at her when she ran across the road and Ash turned to see the commotion. She stood in the rain, water licking her face and dropping onto the floor. At that moment, the only people in the World were her and Ash. It was him and her. It was them, forever. 

He strode back towards her and was about to speak when she kissed him. The World faded into nothing as he kissed her back and the sparks, she had once felt, echoed through her body.