I Can't Lose Him (ICDTNWY Sequel)

14.

Hi guyss. This chapter sucks and I'm sorry for that. I think you'll be happy by the end. Hope you guys still enjoy this chapter (because honestly, I wrote this chapter in one sitting and it kinda sucks). But enjoy anyway. (:

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Calum. 

I slipped on a plain black shirt with my black skinny jeans. It wouldn't be long until I wouldn't be able to wear these anymore. These were jeans that would stretch and adjust to my growing body so they would a last a little bit longer than my other jeans. But there was a limit to how far they would stretch. 

After that limit, I would be stuck in sweats, all day and everyday. 

I looked in the mirror and ruffled my black hair as I made sure I had looked okay to look presentable for the day. 

Once my hair looked okay, I looked at myself. I looked...alright. Sure, it was only a four month appointment but I just had a feeling that I needed to look presentable. Usually, I didn't care about what others thought about me. But these days, that's all I could think about. I suddenly cared about what people thought about. 

I would say that it's the baby in me that's causing me to think like this, but even before Luke managed to knock me up, I thought that way. I couldn't get the thought away, even now, when I had someone to blame, not that I wanted to blame my baby. It just happened because of the hormones.

My eyes then trailed down to my bump. It was slightly peaking out from my shirt, a shirt that would fit me nicely without the bump. But because it was a smaller shirt, my bump showed pretty well. My hands trailed down until both of my hands rested on the small but growing bump. 

"You're pregnant Calum, not fat. You're pregnant Calum, not fat," I whispered to myself.

I don't even know how, but it was enough to make me cry. I gripped my bump as tears started to fall down my cheeks. I should've know it was the heightened hormones but I didn't really care about that at that point. 

"I'm fat. I'm so fat. Why does Luke even love me? I'm so fat!" I cried, "God Calum you're so fat. Your son thinks your fat. Maybe that's why we sent him to Ashton and Blake's house for the weekend. He doesn't want to see you like this."

I then heard a knock at the door. 

"Cal...are you ready to go? Your appointment is in half an hour," Luke told me. 

"I-I...um yeah. I'm ready," I said as I choked out tears. 

Luke quietly walked in. I looked up and into his beautiful blue eyes as he wore a black shirt, red flannel, skinny jeans, and his canvas shoes. He looked so beautiful compared to me. I was fat, and ugly. 

Luke then looked worriedly at me as I continued to shed a few tears. 

"Cal...what's wrong?" He softly asked. 

I choke out more tears. 

"Lukey...I'm fat. I'm so fat," I cried out as Luke shook his head and ran over to hug me, tightly wrapping his arms around me as I rested my head on his chest as more tears fell down my cheeks. 

"No baby. You're not fat. I promise. You're carrying our beautiful baby, remember? He or she is growing perfectly inside you," Luke whispered, kissing my temple, "they're a reminder Cal. They're a reminder that something of you and me is growing inside you. You're not fat Cal, you're pregnant. You're carrying our beautiful child."

Luke leaned in and kissed my forehead. 

"It's your hormones, from the pills you're taking to help it grow. I promise you, you're not fat."